There is also another site, literotica.com which has a few more stories that are less extreme in manner to help decide what turns you on in your mind and what turns you on in r/l. I am new and I used these stories and the ones on this site to explain what I wanted from my Dom. Communication is key. I trust my Dom enough to do just about anything we want cause we talk enough that I know he won't make me do something I hate just cause he wants me to. Trust is key and communication is the link between. At least in my experience. I'm new too really.