Quote Originally Posted by The I View Post
What I see as the risk is stopping to ask ourselves the question if what we're doing is actually a good thing or having the honesty to answer ourselves truthfully. It doesn't have to do with whether this or that level of extremity is abuse. For me abuse doesn't have to do with whether it's sunday spankings or total power exchange. For me abuse is whether you stop having your partners welfare as the motivation for what you're doing.
True, and worth reminding ourselves of. When something is as mind-blowingly enjoyable as sexual dominance, it can be dangerously easy to get swept away and forget the responsibilities that come with it.

This is one of the places where succesful BDSM requires a certain amount of doublethink. On one level, it can be part of the fun for both of you to treat the sub as a thing to be used for your pleasure without a thought for hir feelings. But there must always be another part of your mind that keeps aware that this is a person with feelings that matter, and watches out for them.