You can't insist and make it work. I have a good relationship with my wife, who has a healthy sexual appetite but limited interest in bdsm. Sexuality is a complex thing, and bdsm is not something you can make someone be interested in. Believe me, I know from experience. For me, it is not very fulfilling if my partner is not getting anything out of it. In my situation we dabble now and again, but it is an indulgence on my wife's part. In your situation I recommend you talk it through as a couple and if she's willing to experiment a little, great. If not, so be it. I have accepted and always honored my wife's desires. One of the wonderful things about this community is that I have found a place where I can express my interests and desires with peers. It has been a great experience thus far.