For me, I see this lifestyle as my mysterious side. Whenever my Master and I are together, we often get the look of Wtf? Our BDSM interests is what got the ball rolling and neither one of us expected it to lead where it has. On the outside, we look like a crazy mix that doesn't really make sense lol. So, the lifestyle we live is our mystery. It's what makes us a little unique. I would not look at it as a lie. And as Oz said, its normal to keep a private life private. I've said many times that BDSM has really added to the joy in my life. I love it. I have told people that I live this lifestyle and most are actually pretty interested. I haven't completely expressed it to the whole world but my close friends know. I suppose its a personal preference thing. If it makes you happy, then you should do it