p.s. Dear mods - would it be an idea to move this thread to the BDSM life section?
Good idea. Thanks for the hint, cariad.

sub_in_denial - I thought you had left us when your account looked closed, sorry about my off hand comment earlier on. I really thought we'd put you off and I'm glad it wasn't the case. Everything that I'd add was already shared by the posters in this thread, so I'll just join in the chorus: feel free to PM me with questions or cries for support...lol, I've been doing quite a bit of that myself recently and I always have an open ear. Nice to see you're finding so many friends here - I know that the support from this site has helped me to get over a few issues of mine and hope it works the same way for you.