Hi Denial,

I am no profession at love, life, religeon, or much else come to think about it, but I know this much:

You are not a freak.
Love is not sex
Sex is not love.
Love and sex should not be confused for each other.
There is no "one" or "right" way to a dom/sub relationship
dom/sub relationships can be loving, nurturing, and intimate.
dom/sub relationships don't have to contain leather OR lace
or even handcuffs.... ;-) but they can if you want them to

I want to respectfully disagree with something stated earlier: you want to 'find your head' without feeling observed by your husband. How about this for a happy middle ground? Spend a little more time here, asking questions, reading, exploring, discussing, and tell him that when you're a little more comfortable (you can put a time frame on it if it helps either or both of you), you will share everything with him, including all of your posts, ramblings, links, and questions. It's not a dirty secret, and you don't have to spend EVERY minute of EVERY day sharing EVERY thing you do. Explore a little, then you can hold his hand and show him the way at your own pace later!

Keep exploring

Regards,
Another Catholic