Yes it is bdsm.

It is a quite common reaction to kinda go domme or only wish to top for a while after being hurt; though it is also possible that may be your natural direction anyway.

Assuming your talking about gadging an otherwise vanillia situation (as per your discription):

The only way to get to the point is to actually get to it. When your still in the pick-up part of the arrangment, at some point, you should bring up kink and what your potential partner may be into, then depending on their responce you can decide if you wish to go any further and tell them what you are looking for and see how they react, then depending on that see what kind of an arrangment you can come too together.

Now if you wish to skip much of that and find someone you can be pretty sure is allready into a submissive kink role...try searching for bdsm groups in your area by typing the word "Munch" and the name of your city into google. Most groups meet about once a month or so in a public place for coffee etc, share ideas and what not. Another alternative is to find what I call a public access dungeon/club...similar to 1763 in Atlanta. Simply type bdsm club and the name of your city or public dungeon and the name of your city or some such combination to find whats available in your area as you would for a munch. Its a good idea to call the club owner prior to arrival to find out what the appropriate protocols are for that venue etc. Another thing you could try is attending one of the many fetish or bdsm conventions that take place annually accross the usa (idk about in other countries)...they are kind of like a comic or gamer convention...only for kinksters.