I'm fairly new to the "lifestyle", but certainly not new to life so I have had a few years to make some observations. I guess it's for each of us to make their own choices. Personally, my sub and I enjoy a tremendous D/s relationship, but we both have children. In our situation, we keep the D/s part of our relationship in the bedroom. Outside of that it's business as usual. The kids, of course, come first always. We don't make an effort to hide the "whips and chains" part of our relationship from close friends, but we don't flaunt it either. We most certainly don't expose the children to it. That will be their decision to make when they are grown.

It's a romantic idea to live the D/s lifestyle 24/7, but realistically...it's not very practical.

You and T/G seem like very intelligent people. Sometimes that can be a curse because if you're anything like me...I tend to overanalyze everything.

My own way of thinking is that living it 24/7 would probably get boring after a while. We don't get a lot of time to play in the absence of kids, work, or social obligations. As a result, we cherish the times that we do and I think it adds to the excitement and anticipation.

My little bit of advice...

Live your life as we have to...as a responsible adult, then enjoy the hell out of the time you have to let loose!

Like I said, everyone is different. But that's what works for us.