Wow! Great info, guys. My situation is a little different (boyfriend is a switch, I'm usually a sub, but I'm trying to learn enough to return the favor occasionally) but I found a lot that was useful. One other idea--read and share stories. I can't get the boyfriend to give me any specifics on what he likes when he is on bottom; strangely, it is the only thing he won't talk about. But if either of you finds a good description of what you want in a story, share it with the other. Sometimes, that can be enough to get a really good conversation going.