I was told when I was a baby, I didnt cry much, if ever. . . I was withdrawn and seemed to be in my own world. I think me being "different" started there. Growing up till about the age of 8 i have no real solid memories of events and happenings that stand out clear in my mind. But I do know that during that time and before my mother had abused my sister, and the chances were I most likely saw that abuse as a child. when I can start forming memories from "way back then" I remember I always needed to keep my mother happy, because if she was unhappy I didn't know what she might end up doing to me. It was better to just suck it up and do what it took to keep her happy, being seen and not heard being a main one.

From there I recall going online to figure out more about what my one high school friend was telling me about being a submissive. Ummm... it felt right what she was saying and made me feel like I belonged somewhere. and it just snow balled from there. I'm still debating in my own mind nature vs nurture. . . and trying to remember my early childhood more just to figure it out better.