I like this post - lots of good pointers!


A side note:
A lot of the time, dom/mes act the way they do because of what they expect subs expect from them.
This is true, I have seen it and even done it at first, until I understood how bloody stupid that is. You end up being a sort of advanced dildo for the sub.

I personally do not care if someone I don't know questions how good of a dom I am.
Point. And that goes for other dom/mes as well. It is not a profession, and it is not a contest.

However, I have seen subs giving trouble to dom/mes because they do not act "dominant" enough, and this is completely uncalled for. Just because a person is a dom/me does not mean they are always relentlessly controlling. For instance, I am not your "stereotypical" dom.
Does such an animal even excist? ;-)

I am in my early 20's, and despite being a very take charge and assertive person, I do not come off as controlling. This means that I don't tell people what to do for no reason - especially people I do not know. Heck, I even hold the door for my dates and all that chivalry stuff that seemingly stopped happening in 1953. If you saw me, you'd think I was confident, but probably not a dom. What I'm trying to say is, do not confuse the term dom/me for someone that is dominant 24/7 in every aspect of life, or negligent of others - this is simply not the case.
Dom/mes - as subs - are real people. Trying to live up to some sort of sterotype always means ending up as less than what you are.

PS: This post is probably laced with grammatical and spelling errors. I'm pretty tired right now, and don't have it in me to proof read this thing senseless.
Seemed ok to me, but even if it wasn't, what of it? There are a few people who feel called to correct spelling - ignore them. This is a bdsm list, not a grammar school.