Communication is the key to any relationship, he is disconnected with his promises because he is disconnected with the whole " other life style" err life!
Everything has changed, he went from meeting your need to meeting several needs and has gotten lost in it all. I say find a babysitter or take the kids to your parents for the weekend. Set the house so that he knows when he walks in that you are ready for him. Dont give him an out because he will take it. This may sound coy but leave some hints during the week, post it notes work great for spiking the mind into thinking only of you and your needs. Call him at work
and let him know he is in complete control of you. You have to get him to start thinking he is alpha male and he needs to take care of his ownership.