Jealousy

[thir]

I am a full time slave. I dedicate my life to my Master and there is nothing i wouldnt do for him. The last year or so we have had promblems with jealousy. (me being jealous) Im positive we are on the right track now and things are going great with what we are trying to do with me dealing with my jealous behavior. It is the hardest thing i have done as a slave. Has anyone had or have jealousy problems in thier relationship and how did they get passed it?

Big topic! And and evergreen, it being such a painfull feeling.

Some say a 'good' feeling, because it shows you love someone - even that without it you don't. I think that is nonsense. My own Lord loves me, and he doesn't have a jealous bone is his body about my vanilla other husband.

Some say it is a 'bad' feeling, because you should not have such feelings if you are a 'real' poly or a 'real' slave. I think that is nonsense. It is a feeling, simply, and in the first case noone can control their feelings, (though you can work with them) in the second case it may have a very good reason.

Well, the first thing in my mind, when trying to tackle jealousy, is to ask what is really behind it.

For instance, does it come from fear, such as real risk of loosing the loved one? Does it come from a percieved fear of loosing the loved one?

In the first case only time will solve it by telling, in the second, reassurance is very important.

I get jealous. In my case it comes from feeling inferior, because due to my health I know I cannot give as much to my Lord as he needs, or indeed as I need. He is looking for another slave or maybe more casual relationship to make up for it, and that is hard emotionally, because this other person will give him what I can't (but want to) and get what I can't often get (but want to.)

So the base of my jealousy in my specific situation is not that I cannot bear to see him with others, but that I have to go hungry myself.

It is not a good situation, it is best to enlarge families or relationships out of a surplus. But I love my Leo9 and I cannot bear to see him starve! So I want him to have another. My weapen against jealousy in this situation is my love, and finding good ways to find other kinds of joy in my life. Not - never! - to take the place of sex and intimacy. I am, forturnately - or unfortunately - still a person with an appetite for sex that is much healthier than I am. But I believe that I can turn some of it into other joys such as creative activities, as much exercise as I can do, my family, and a lot of other things.
I can also turn inside, and develope my spiritual side.

I rather think that every person's jealousy is different. I think it important that every person try to figure out exactly what it the cause of the jealousy, and try to work with it from there. Once you know what the reason is, it is much easier to find tools against it.

In D's relationships it is very important to take decision about poly which all can live with. Jealousy can also mean that a situation is simply not right for that person. And it does not matter how submissive or devoted you are, if your mindset really is mono through and through, and not a matter of learning new ways, you cannot be happy with it any more than you can decide to be vanilla instead of a bdsm.