All I mean thir is that it is what it is, if one is jealous it's not right to say oh well too bad deal with it cause the jealous one must be at fault.

In so far as getting violent...there is such a thing as a crime of passion, additionally, amongst primates it's not uncommon for the mated pairs to drive off even kill rivals but I doubt the op's case is in any way associated to this though it is most certifiably is where the natural response comes from.