Lovin the avatar Lois.

We realized that we were each struggling for dominance in our relationship before we even knew about BDSM. For us, the lifestyle is a way to cope with that struggle by clearly defining who is in charge and establishing the responsibilities and expectations of each other. To me dominance and submission is not about kinks, fetishes, etc. Sure, those things are enjoyable, but still separate from D/s. i believe that even vanillas participate in D/s at some level, they just don't know it.

I really like the comment that 98tiller made regarding society's view of male submissives, and media portrayal of males in general adds fuel to the fire. Men are depicted as dumb, fat, and lazy beer drinkers. How many times have you heard, "you can tell who wears the pants in that family"?