I have a lot of training and personal experience in childhood trauma, so i offer some of my knowledga and hope that it helps.
It seems that even after years of leaving the trauma behide, the trauma will just not leave us. It has taken me many years to be able to produce my words to a story i am telling and no longer living. I am sure that we all can relate to those times when you wind up in a situation and are really puzzled as to you got there, like a relationship that somehow morphs inot an incredibly stress filled, hard hearted, cold and lonly place. These are relationships that we do not set out to create, but we find ourselves there because the feelings are familiar, the neglect, the fear, the hreat ache, the tears. These are pattens that suffers of childhood trauma will always seek out, no matter how unaware we are at the time. It took me along time to be sure that this is what i mysef was doing. I then understood that that both my feelings and behaviours were attached to my subconscious memory relateing back to how i was made to feel as a child. I had been programed to seek out all the feelings that made me feel angry, sad, worthless, drowned in pain and self pitty. It was all about the validation, the feelings had become my identity.
We must learn to identitfy the triggers, its a long and painful process but one that needs to be done to have anything resmbling a life in the present. We were not able to control the past but we have the power now to control from here untill the end. We tend to hold these triggers in our subconscious, but you cant any longer, you must bring them to the surface in order to deal with them and understand them.You need to re-build yourself into the person you want to be. If you find yourself getting angry, stop and ask yourself why, be sure its not a trigger of your past, are you angry because you have falt this feeling similer feeling before. It does not mean that the situation is the same, just the feeling. If you are a victem to anything in your life, you are a sitting duck for perpetrators of abuse. You need to stay conscious and aware of everything, identify your triggers and take one step at a time. I hope this makes sense and helps.