Actually, he's completely aware of the trauma and has told me that it's entirely up to me whether or not we participate. Knowing him as I do, I know that he wouldn't let anything happen or tolerate anyone acting that way towards me.

But I do have to agree with you that it's not a good idea to be around people who won't respect the rules. It's basically become a moot point now, apparently some of the things he's seeing about the group have made him decide that getting any more involved would be a mistake. The group I was a part of didn't really have any rules for their parties. If a sub chose to attend without a Dom, they were fair game, but even collared subs and slaves were treated that way. Even though this group isn't the same one, there is cross-over between them and I really wouldn't want to worry about things like that.

Mostly I just find their attitudes very strange. I would think that when the relationship ends, they have no more rights, but many dominants (at least around here, it wouldn't really be fair to generalize them all) seem to feel that once they've dommed you, you're always theirs.

Thank you for your thoughts