Difference between a whore and a slave

[Misschief]

Maybe we can let prostitute mean ..ya know.. sex for money.. and whore mean a submissive that loves to be used and fucked and can genuinely be happy for the rest of eternity doing so, without being paid.. i would love the latter half of that statement right about now.. so wet..

[ksst]

Ahhhhhh....

[Ozme52]

Maybe we can let prostitute mean ..ya know.. sex for money.. and whore mean a submissive that loves to be used and fucked and can genuinely be happy for the rest of eternity doing so, without being paid.. i would love the latter half of that statement right about now.. so wet..

No. It can't. You will deprive many many people of their degradation and humiliation play vocabulary.

It's not an offensive word until you start misdefining it to mean things other than what it means, as in the OP.

[Ozme52]

Ahhhhhh....

You called?

lol

[Dog's Lady]

A lot of people have bandied about definitions for these words, trying to make sense of, and less offensive-yes, I felt attacked in that post, and I am not even good enough at BDSM to call myself a slave yet. I'm just a wannabe doing her best to learn to be a slave someday-the original post. But remember that ther are two types of, or parts to, a definition. There is the denotation, the literal meaning, the dictionary definition; but there is also the connotation, the meaning we bring to the word. For example, "mom" just means maternal parent. But what images does it bring up? I don't know about you, but I get warm, fuzzy feelings from this word. Mom is someone who helps with homework, and bakes cookies, and your friends think she is cool even when you want to hate her. Mother, which has the same denotation, brings up entirely different feelings, of someone who is stern, lacks a sense of humor. She might have created you, and will serve your very basic needs: food, clothing, shelter; but she might neglect your needs for understanding, compassion, love.

My b/f called himself a whore to me, and I kind of lost it. We were on the phone, so at least he couldn't see my face, but I know he caught some of my shock. Was I about to be asked for money? Was he going to tell me the free samples were over? WTF? Then we talked more, and I learned that he meant with whore what I mean by slut, basically. He likes to sleep around, and someday, no matter how good things are with us, he will want some "strange." He wanted me to know this, to be prepared for the day he slept around. We laid some limits, and I agreed to it.

I guess my point is that the OP'er is working from very different connotations than the rest of us. We may never be able to have a rational conversation about this because we don't understand her connotations or where they come from. We are actually amazingly lucky that so many of us have connotations for a lot of things that match up well enough for us to talk about them. The fact that we can't quite get this one is sad, but not surprising. But I am going to assume that she meant no harm, as she doesn't seem to see how we are offended by it. Not that she refuses permission, she just doesn't see it. Kind of like men and dirty laundry, ladies, you know how they can walk right by a pile and never notice-till they run out of socks.

On the word slut, for what it's worth, I don't want to be called "slut," even in play, (although rather that than tease) but "pain slut" or "orgasm slut," that can turn me on. I never want to be called whore-as a Heinlein character put it, "I didn't know I could charge, till it was too late," or something like that. Didn't know I could make money, then found that, if I wanted it, I wouldn't want to take money, and anyone I didn't want didn't have enough money to get me to do it with them. In my current relationship, if he ever called me his slave, implying to me/us that I had learned enough to earn the title, that he loved me enough to want me as his slave, well, another man would have to tie me down to get sex of any type with me, unless my Master ordered it, and even that would be difficult to do. I don't want another man now, and he hasn't offered that much commitment-or compliment yet. So, as a slave, I could be neither whore nor slut, unless wanting him all the time makes me a slut. No, I still can't figure out her connotations. Sorry, I guess I can't help this discussion, after all.

[ksst]

You're right, if whore didn't mean whore, what would be the point of calling someone that? Personally, I like being called either one or a host of other things by my Master, when I have never slept around or taken money for sex, but the facts are not really the point. Degradation is the point.

Quote Originally Posted by ksst View Post
Ahhhhhh....
You called?

lol

Yes, Oz

[ksst]

I left out the whole OP part about "slave". To me that is totally different. Whereas whore and slut are similar, leaving out the money difference, you might call someone either and mean close to the same thing, as either an insult or a playful expression of love or lust, calling someone slave is a deeper level of commitment. Especially "my slave" : it means ownership, possession, full time commitment, although it does not imply exclusivity or monogamy to me.

[ownedslut]

My master call's me whore all the time but I am his only.We just like to use the term (name).

[The Novice]

My wife loves it when we are playing and I call her a whore or a slut. It turns her on, and there by turns me on. If you have a problem with the words used, I would say talk to you partner and let them know. Other wise use what ever words work for you and turn you and your parnter on.

[ownedslut]

I totally agree with you Novice

[jinx]

There's always a huge problem within BDSM (or just about any subculture really) of definitions. There's not exactly a Websters Dictionary Kink Edition to refer to. A lot of words get used interchangeably by some people (like sub and slave, Domme and Mistress, etc), and for others there are very concrete differences between the terms. What's worse (I think) is that often people who have personally defined definitions of certain words are offended or angered by people who are either inexperienced or use terms loosely.

The OP's question is one I struggled with for a long time myself in coming into BDSM. I work with words for living, so they carry a lot of weight for me in their 'official' meanings. The label 'slave' horrified me because of the historical baggage that word carries. People being forced to serve against their will and given no respect as human beings. I've come to learn that within the lifestyle, slave can be a very proud and noble title for a person to have.

Likewise, I find a wonderful humiliation pleasure in being called a little slut by someone I'm with. In that context, it's an affirmation and affectionate word of myself as a sexual being. The word whore was one that always made me angry. The difference as I saw it was this: A slut someone who expresses their sexuality freely and openly for someone they love and serve. A whore is someone who will show that same part of themselves to anyone who can pay for it. One was personal and loving, the other was business and nothing more.

What it comes down to in the end though, is that terms and words within the lifestyle are very fluid and personal things. What's most important (again, I think), is communication with your partner.. making sure you both have a similar view on terms and their meanings.