I'm not a lifestyle submissive. I've been there and it got me in an incredibly unhealthy, frightening situation (not that I think this is the norm, but sometimes one bad experience can turn you off of something). Still, in the bedroom i crave nothing more than to be controlled and to have my Master take care of my needs by allowing me to take care of His...*wipes drool from chin and snaps back out of dream world* My boyfriend is the most wonderful human being I've ever had the fortune to know. He's intelligent, gentle, caring, kind, attentive, and he makes me feel safe to express myself and be 100% honest with him. Since introducing Him to BDSM, He's been picking up very quickly. He researches everything heavily before attempting it, and He makes sure i communicate any concerns i may have. Little by little He's been breaking down the barriers He was afraid to cross because "nice guys don't tie up their girlfriends right?" The only issue i'm having is that He never initiates this sort of thing. If i request it, He'll take over and do all the deliciously dirty things i love, but only then. i'd really like to have Him whisper something dirty in my ear or give me an order without me explicitly saying i'd like for Him to. i guess my question is, did any of You ever have a similar experience when You were just starting out? Did You have worries or doubts that made You hold back and if so, how did You overcome them? He says He genuinely enjoys being a Dom in the bedroom because in real life he doesn't typically seek out positions of power or act aggressively so it's a nice release, but if that's true, why doesn't he ever start the play?
P.S. I'm aware the capitalization isn't consistent. He and I agreed that since the Dom/sub and boyfriend/girlfriend aspects of our relationship are two different sides of ourselves, how we write or talk about each should reflect that.