I consider myself a Dom/Master and as I have journeyed on this path I have found my share of codependent issues within me, as well as within others. I think that both sides of the M/s and D/s relationship can have codependent issues. I have found by facing the feelings including the fears, helpful in understanding what lies beneath the issues associated with codependency. During times when I reflect and try to understand why it is that I myself even seek an M/s or D/s relationship, I have discovered many aspects of myself that has required thinking and processing. The existential question of being (who we are, why we are, etc.) is a fundamental question that I have. I have been in a 12 step fellowship which has openned up all kinds of self-understandings that have related to who I am and what is a relationship in general. I know that there is a 12 step fellowship for codependents. If one is a codependent, I would recommend seeking out a group. The magic that is worked by being in a group of people that understand your issues and who will accept you as you are, works wonders on the one who is in need.

For me, facing the question of codependency and wondering if life is insane as the result of being codependent, is a question worth exploring. Especially when it relates to those who seek to submit and for those who seek to control or dominate.

When I consider a sub/slave to journey with, one thing I look for is how codependent that person maybe. The psychologic health of my charge is one of the most important parts of the relationship. I want my sub/slave mentally healthy so that her life can be lead to the fullness that if can be. The roles we take on in the relationship are mutually benificial, even when one takes on the Dominate role verses the sub. There is something deep and meaningful when one chooses to be a sub/slave to another. For me I want the choice to be given freely. One of the beauties of a good relationship is the completeness of being that comes from it.