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Quote Originally Posted by Burddom View Post
...she reverts to acting out pushing and testing me to get the dominant reaction she wants and I know what she is doing but just cant take her over my knee and give her the "spanking" she needs ...
What she is doing when she acts out is damaging the dynamic that y’all are striving to keep. You must NOT give her what she wants at this time. If you give her a spanking (and she enjoys those) then you are rewarding her for – and encouraging more of - this undesired behavior from her.

I would suggest a two-pronged approach. Consider punishments that she will not enjoy at all. Perhaps she must stand in a corner during the time that y’all would normally have your playtime. Let her know the consequences of her actions directly: “It is too bad you made the choice to do (specific acting-up activity) and have taken away *my* pleasure time of playing with you…” I do realize that you’d have to suffer this punishment as well, but that is a suggestion.

The second suggestion I have is to create a reward list in your mind. Come up with several little things that will not take long. (It sounds to me as if an erotic spanking might top your reward list for her.) Please do give her listed responsibilities that do not change much. This way, your job is only labor intensive to set up. Work on your ‘set up’ (including adding to it later) during those times that you have more free time. You must plan ahead for when you go through your busier periods.

You will need to take the time to reward her, certainly. If she is ‘good’ for you, don’t just ignore that! This is your responsibility in maintaining the dynamic, imho.

You do not need hours of uninterrupted time to play (although those are bliss, I do realize). You just have to use your mind and utilize spare moments where you can find them. I hope there is something here that you might find useful.