Thank you both for the responses. We have spent hours talking about feelings, desires, fantasies, limits so I think we have that part covered. I have her write in a journal as well so it is an ongoing thing. I know the question was a little convoluted. Basically the situation boils down to when i'm not giving her the attention she wants she acts out (usually back talking, she knows how I hate that) knowing that it will draw out a response and that is what she wants, me to make her stop it, effectively topping from the bottom. I think it's cute until it isn't anymore and her way of saying "master, I want attention". When i'm in the middle of a paper for instance and she does it I cannot stop and correct her right then or another time she will do it and then the kids walk in again I cannot correct the behavior right then effectively letting her get away with it. I'll get time eventually and come up with a punishment which gives her the attention she wanted and things are fine. In her case it isn't the punishments and liking them or disliking them (she dislikes quite a few of them) it is the fact i'm giving her the attention she wants.

the question really is 2 part. 1) how others balancing "life" with the lifestyle and staying steady and strict even when you have a ton on your plate already. and 2) just your opinions or ideas on the situation of having a needy sub who acts out to get a response from you when your to busy to give her a response which is why she isn't getting the attention she wants in the first place.

Thank you all for welcomes and the responses so far.