I highly recommend that instead of getting help in private from some online personality you cant possibly ever know that you get your help out in the open where everything can be above board.

What exactly do you mean when you say "pretty open" and "he doesn't seem to get it"?

Are you sitting him down and outright telling him hey guess what I am turned on by bondage and discipline and would like to try it with you"?

Additionally when one is first starting out the last thing you need to worry about is fitting into some preconceived "role" of being submissive or dominant etc.

For instance plenty of us are take charge at work but submit at home or vice versa.