Or use the situation and make a ruse of offering help as a way to take advantage of someone new to the community etc...which is the real reason I recommend being in the open and that seems to happens to a majority of submissives who run off into private messaging with the first supposed dom who walks across their pm box.

It has nothing to do with exposing anyone and everything to do with using common sense and being safe.

As for being shy.

You came to a BDSM site and asked for help. Are we not all kinksters here? Trust me there is nothing your going to reveal that is going to shock us in these forums. lol

The only way your going to get him to try being more bdsm and less vanilla with you is if your open and honest with him and tell him exactly what you want.

Try giving him a non-fiction book as well. Fiction stories can be inspiring but can also be dangerous if relied upon as too much of a template since they are usually a far cry from reality. A book like "The Loving Dominant" by Wiseman (its available online or in book form off the shelf from Barnes and Noble) may get what your trying to tell him across.