childhood signs of submissive tendencies

[Femme.100percent]

Well when I turned 8yrs old I learned 3 things. 1) how to masturbate 2) a strong desire to please the gurl I crushed on and the teacher I feared the most 3) I didnt like wearing clothes at home.

Strong desire to please(i'll start here first) my first crush was a girl name Michele. She had a twin sister and they were opposite. Michele was a tomboy. Her dad allowed her to be the son he never had and would buy her boy toys for christmas. She loved football and basketball. She would make me play sports with her although I wasnt good at it, I did it to please her. Whatever she wanted me to do. I would obey. We'd play doctor and of course I was the patient. She used to make me lie down while I would get my check up and thats when she would tie me up binding me with clothesline robe and touch me. I used to love secretly playing with her and would dream about our play time. One day my mother heard me moaning her name in my sleep. needless to say my mom started to be concerned about me spending so much time with Michele.
These dreams led to me masturbating in my 3rd grade class. I would rub my pelvis against the stationary desk thinking about being alone with Michele. I didnt know was masturbating at the time. It felt good and I started timing myself trying to beat the clock when our teacher would time us in math. The teacher was very mean and she would verbally abuse the students, and even punish them for misbahavior and I felt excited about her possibly catching me rubbing my pelvis while thinking about Michele touching me. I didnt want Ms hudson to be angry with me for not finishing my math problems in time so that excited me and terrified me at the same time. I wanted to please Ms hudson and would crave for her to give me praises for doing an outstanding job on how fast I would complete the math assignment. She didnt know I was working fast so I could masturbate before time was up thinking about Michele. Then I learned to race to an orgasm before test time was up for any subject. Yes I was bad girl, quiet, obedient, but always horny.
I used to take off my clothes as soon as I came home from school and walked around in my panties. Evey christmas picture I had a home was of me smiling with panties on while everyone else was fully dressed. Clothes had me feeling hot and restricted. My mom didnt mind and I never gave it much thought until my older sister pointed it out looking thru the photo album.
There are other crazy things I used to do and maybe I would share more, but I think I started having sub tendencies when I was 8yrs old. It began slow and soon escalated to much more

[Gingerfox]

I'm a recovering cutter (pretty recent habit to quit actually)--the actual cutting never was what turned me on. I'm not a physical masochist. But I loved having the marks saying things (mean things, mind you).

Also, when my little sister and I would play games when we were younger, things like exploring and such, it somehow always ended with me getting kidnapped and tied up and gagged x3

[lilpenguin]

Childhood memories... I was always the captured princess, the kidnapped whatever we were playing, tied up maiden of somesort, and usually tied up too for the others to try to rescue from whoever was the 'bad' guy. I always loved being tied up and dragged around by the leash that we would sometimes use as kids (stolen from the dogs) to be held helpless by, following my captor as he/she tried to keep me away from the others. There are countless other things, but that is one that really sticks out in my head... starting really like age 5 or 6ish.

[delicious]

This is an interesting post!
I definitely had these tendencies as a child, I was just thinking about that the other day.
I would play house, school, and doctor with my friends. School was my favorite because I could act out and convince my friends to spank me, or tie me to something in "time out" as punishment. house and doctor usually involved me misbehaving and requiring some sort of punishment too I used to tell them to tie me to a bad during "doctor" exams so that I wouldn't escape. Haha.

[mylittletahoe]

The only think i can think of in my childhood that may have showed that i have a sub side was i was allways the tomboy starting fights that i allways lost to allowing them to pin me down i enjoyed that. also around the age of 8 i was cought playing with myself nd was told by my mom and grandma that it was wrong, but before i gotcought i remeber liking the way it felt and tasted.but after i wastold it was wrong andyoung ladys don't do stuff like that i stopped and didn't start up again until 3 years ago and now i still feel guilty for useing a toy witch cause me to not have a release.
Then in the past few years i have felt like there is something missing in my life, when i have had sex over the years i like it rough but no one has been able to Satisfy my needs or give me a release. Now at 35 i have finally figuered out that i need more.. So being newto all this any and all help would be great

[brace [EDQ]]

Some of my earliest memories are playing games similar to cops & robbers. I really liked to lose and get tied up, even around age 7. I was likewise fascinated by casts and braces before puberty. My enjoyment of bondage and the restriction of casts & braces only became sexual one the puberty hormones kicked in.

[leo9]

Feud would love all this childhood sexuality... and yes, my fantasies started way back, and were mostly sub. I remember when I was 8 or so and read Kipling's "How the First Letter Was Written," there's a long comic description of a man being beaten up by a gang of women, and I read it over and over again just wallowing in that special thrill. I have to wonder about Kipling: later (age 12 or so) I found one of his school stories ("The Moral Reformers," if you're interested) which is entirely about his heroes tying up a couple of bullies and torturing them till they promise to be good, and my copy of the book fell open at those pages.

I had a whole lot of adventure stories I made up that were the usual knights and pirates and stuff, but the ones where I or someone with me was tied up and tortured were something I knew somehow was special and private. But in games my sisters and I played with our bears and dolls, the story quite often involved the dolls getting tied up for some perfectly logical reason :-)

There was a comic strip about a slave in ancient Egypt that hit me like a religious revelation, the whole idea of being a slave - or owning one, by then I was enjoying both sides of the fantasy - was suddenly intensely exciting. And it didn't have to involve any kind of sex, or even a lot of pain, just the idea of being under that kind of total control. One hot summer day when I was alone in the house I went to a room where my Dad had left a stack of bricks for some rebuilding, and I undressed and spent a long time carrying the bricks across the room and back imagining that I was a naked slave being forced to work like this. I didn't masturbate over it, though I'd already learnt to; it was a more mental thrill than that.

It wasn't until I started doing it for real, first with my sisters and then with friends, that I discovered I enjoyed doing it more than having it done to me.

[Dieppoise]

My favourite childhood games were always about pirates. I can remember acting them out alone in my backyard. I would be captured. I would hold on to the chain link fence facing with my face towards the fence, and I would pretend I was tied to a mast. As I got older, I would always imagine being stripped naked at this point in front of a crew of horny pirates. I would then be whipped and used for the crew's pleasure...

[bound_for_you]

Leah I'm in the same boat, but I actually found a Master on here that is helping me realize that my desires are not a scandalous thing to keep in the darkest corner of my closet.

[sexisubi]

First of, what a great topic choice, its great to see other people who did the same thing during their childhood!

We used to play cops and robbers if you got caught you'd have to be tied up on a tree by the robbers!, and I liked being the cop haha.

I used to play a game called slave where I would do whatever my friends wanted.

I would pretend like one of my stuffed animals or other random items that i created to toys were holding me captive or hypnotizing me

When I played any game I liked to be the one captured.

Truth or Dare: I liked dare because I wanted to do the "task"

thewhorenextdoor thanks for the post, it was fun to share

[ksst]

There was a comic strip about a slave in ancient Egypt that hit me like a religious revelation, the whole idea of being a slave - or owning one, by then I was enjoying both sides of the fantasy - was suddenly intensely exciting. And it didn't have to involve any kind of sex, or even a lot of pain, just the idea of being under that kind of total control

This is the exactly the sort of thing I used to do, except I was always the slave, never a Mistress. Riding crops were usually involved in the fantasy. It wasn't a comic strip but I had a couple of books. It evolved into a sexual fantasy as I grew up.

[Angel1987]

I remember as a young kid, a friend and I use, to tie ourselves up, pretending someone had captured us. It was a consistant thing, although the scenarios differed, I enjoyed being the victim. I never really put much thought into it, until the past year, as I started discovering bdsm and that I wasn't just a strange child lol.

[hellman]

this is a cool thread will as for when i was 4 up to 7 my bro test all his knots in me as he was doing rock cilming and lock me the cubbed as i would piss him off but just love it any ways and to this day can not find any one that can tie me up for more then 20 mins and picking fights and get held down but as i got older i alway become what people wonted so i made them happy but got me to some shit as when i was with more people i would just hide as did not know how at act as they all know be diffotly but the one thing they all know was that i will alway do any thing to make them happy so i got used alot and not in a good way but all the lady i have been with always the one that told me what do but i love that there sill more but that will wait till next time


thank for giving some where to say this

[panthera]

Hm, it's interesting to think about. I do recall playing school with my friends, but I was always the teacher and no one ever got in trouble.

Outward, I was a people pleaser, I loved (and still do) to make people happy. Be it a simple gesture like making their favorite meal, to something personal like finding or making the perfect gift, it makes my heart soar to make someone special to me happy. I also realize now that I don't think I've ever told someone I think of as an authority figure "No", except for one time, and that moment stands out in my memory, and even though I was in the right I feel guilty over it.

Where it was really interesting was in my fantasies and dreams. I was pretty young (maybe around 10) when I started having dreams that I can remember with submissive tendencies. Like being kidnapped, and tied up. I was constantly being tied up in my dreams. Later in my teens, I recall having a dream where I was tied into a strange machine that would whip me, spank me, rub ice on me, and more. I had that dream many times, and it was always a little different. I didn't know what it all meant at the time, or for many years later.

[Masters_Little_Pet]

i always loved it when i was young that i could crawl on my hands and knees and act like a dog

i saw a story on the news about a girl getting raped and i started fantasizing about being raped ever since and i would start pinching my nipples and loved that it hurt

and when i saw law and order svu i was fantasizing even more and i started cutting myself and loved the sting of it but an adult caught me once and put me in a mental hospital

i always love when im walking around my place that i find something and i use it to punish myself for getting caught

[leo9]

Of the submissives on the thread, I wonder how many have had issues with self injury, and what the underlying motivation(s) for it are. So far, two plus myself makes three. I'm definitely masochistic, but the SI was more to relieve the unbearable guilt I felt about pretty much everything. Along with doing it to relieve emotional stress when I didn't have another outlet, it was my way of punishing myself. Several years after I started, I met my first top-ish individual: the D to my s and the S to my m. He helped me to mostly stop. He identified the marks and didn't buy my initial stories about roller blading accidents or kitchen fiascos or falling into barbed wire fences or my saying, "It's a funny story, really - I honest-to-god walked into a door..." He saw it for what it was, and then he took over punishing me so that I didn't have to anymore.

One of the best arguments for D/s I've ever seen. My late wife had done some self-harm when she was younger (not cutting, but eating things she hoped were poisonous,) and had attempted suicide, and well as punishing her I was able to share fantasies about my killing her, promising her that if the time came when she definitely wanted to be killed I would make sure she died in screaming agony, which helped her let the suicidal feelings go.

[Ceight]

There was a passage in Sweet Valley High, where Jessica, the naughty, sexy twin, "borrows" her days sports car and goes to a divvy bar and gets felt up by a scary guy. I, who was definitely more like the people-pleasing, boring, good twin, Elizabeth, read that passage over and over, imagining every smell and every sensation of that frightening moment, wishing I had the guts to go to some terrible place that that, but knowing I was too "good" to get into that situation.

[Ceight]

Wow. That's really eerie and nice to hear at the same time. Thanks for sharing.

[DarkGhost]

Only memory i can recall that shows signs of what submission is, in this case my childhood

I use to love being either semi-lock or lock completely "escape with a difficult path ahead", was in warm places that was difficult to access. It didn't have much risk but it was hot and always got me day dreaming of what could be in there if i wasn't alone and there was someone that could either hold me down.

[karissma]

Wow, I never really made the connection but that is totally how I was when I was younger. I remember that the neighborhood I grew up in when I was younger I was the only female. So I always had to play the mom, or I was always the prisoner. Also the boys would be a little rougher on me, and I liked it, it gave me a rush. Even when I moved from that neighborhood and hung with girls when we played house I always listened to what they wanted to do and when we played house I was always the mom or the bad daughter. Also when us girls would play cops or robbers I was always the bad person who got locked up.

[WantonOne]

I was also very young (and reassured I am not the only one) when I first pictured myself naked in the corner of the classroom, being slapped across the face by a female teacher I had a crush on. It was the start of many BDSM fantasies. I have self harmed in the past, but embracing my submission in later years has released me from that need.

[jinx]

See, I was completely the opposite. When I was a kid, I was as far from submissive as you can get. I was a total tomboy, and fought like a wild thing against anyone who tried to tell me what to do. I hated being controlled and was always looking for a reason to start a fight. Even in my teen years, when I matured a bit and found my sexuality, I never thought of myself as the least bit submissive to anyone. I was always very proud of being independent and never backing down from anyone.

There was a certain ... event ... with a woman I was sort of casually seeing in college that really opened my eyes. Not that I'd been lying to myself all those years or anything, but that there was a part of me I'd never known was there. Ever since then I've been slowly learning to integrate that part of myself with the rest of who I am.

Just goes to show, you can't always judge a book by its cover.