I’ve been looking around here for a while and you all seem down to earth and intelligent – hopefully you’ll be able to help me out here - I’m looking for some advice, I will try to keep it short.
My Dom and I met online back in February; at the time, we were a few hundred miles apart and knew it was going to remain this way for a few months due to various circumstances. We spent this time talking via email, instant messenger, and the phone during which point I believe we truly began to open up and fall for one another. Since BDSM was, the foundation by which we met that weighed heavily in conversation during the early stages of our relationship – discussing our experiences with it, our curiosities, our fears, and how we would form our own “well balanced/ideal” relationship involving it. Time passed, we met a few times, - once comfortable around one another he began to do little things to test my trust, restraining me with just himself, ring gag, etc… Our first full weekend together in May - we had our first scenes and I was given his collar. Now our whole weekend did not revolve around this aspect of our relationship, but a good part of times we spent alone together I was wearing my collar, I was in a specific outfit he had asked me to be in, symbolic things nothing too serious. After that weekend, we now are only a few miles from one another and are able to see each other on a more regular basis. Now here is my dilemma, BDSM formed a huge part in the foundation of our relationship, and now it is nothing. From the beginning, we talked about how important it was to have that as part of our relationship but also how important it was to find the healthy balance of it within every aspect of our relationship. Well two and a half months together now and we’ve had two basic scenes both of which were simple testing of my comfort level and limits which took place our first week of being “together”, neither of which lasted longer than 20 minutes. This bothers me, I am not sure why, but it does. I brought it up to him and he said he is content building our friendship and spending time concentrating on things we can do now that we are finally together. I agree in a way and don’t want to push it – I love everything about him and I’ve never been happier in my life, but it is becoming a purely vanilla relationship- which I could deal with if it meant being with him, it just confuses me. It is not that I want to be bound and gagged every day, but occasionally so that I know that aspect is still there- even wearing my collar while we watch TV together would be nice. I don’t know if I should just be patient or try voicing my concerns again, I also don’t know if this is something worth worrying about- I’m sure the time will come, but I want it and I feel I need it for a few reasons (reasons of which would be far too long to try and explain here.) Has anyone experienced this that could give me some insight? Any recommendations as to what I should do ?


Any advice is appreciated

His_ little one

(sorry this is a bith legnthy)