i dont think i will ever find anyone. i have been a slave, as a live-in, for the past 5 months. We started simply as slave and owner, and in the contract it stated no sexual contact between us, that I would only be a slave. I didnt think I was going to fall in love. But I did, eventually. She had recently broken up with her boyfriend and for some reason I was hoping that maybe it was because of me. I was so happy. I kept thinking, wow, I was finally living a dream. I would finally be owned by someone. Our play got more intense. She began to mark me permenantly, branding me with the letters of her name, 3 out of the 8 so far. i even had her initial tattooed on my body, actually she took me to the tattoo parlor and said it was what i was getting lol. but as it turns out, this was all just play to her i guess. she met someone who she wanted as her boyfriend. its not me. i will only be her slave. i know its my own fault. and to her credit, she is new to all of this, for the most part. but i just cant help thinking...

do dominant women really want submissive men as boyfriends/slaves or husbands/slaves? can it really happen? or should i just resign myself to being single for the rest of my life and forget about finding someone who understands me?

i feel used but i asked for it. but i also feel depressed, sad, heartbroken, and utterly dejected. i am not sure why i posted here but i just cant take this pain anymore. i tried to tell her that i fell in love with her, but she didnt want to hear it. i asked her that we not play so much, since i think thats what made me go crazy for her. She didnt listen. when we were playing at one point i began to cry telling her i loved her and wanted to be hers. she slapped my face over and over telling me to shut up. i know it sounds kind of hot. and maybe in a month or two i would agree. but for now, all i know is that she is using me and i feel everyday like i want to vomit.