My owner is a very alpha male and comfortable with my sexual desires. However, I am STILL having trouble teaching him to dominate me without topping from the bottom. How do I suggest that he come here to learn more from tops without getting in trouble?

Example 1: If I do something that annoys him, he knows that he is more than welcome to take it out on my hide with or without gratification, but he seems to think that he must feel like gratifying me if he punishes me. It is okay to punish me (regardless of my pleasure) every time I fail to complete my chores, talk out of turn, or break one of his many, many rules. If I remind him, am I topping from bottom or merely reinforcing my consent to his will?

(Good lord, the rules! No wonder he couldn't have a happy vanilla relationship: I may never drive. I may never discuss our lives more explicitly than this. I may not talk to strangers without prior permission - yes, I am currently living dangerously. I may never be alone when away from home. I'm not allowed to do much of anything without his expressed approval!

However, he's accustomed to enforcing his rules without laying his hands on his previous lovers. Even though we have been married for more than a decade, I struggle to let him do exactly as he pleases, including not enforcing his rules with punishment.

Ah, there's the clarity - I desire punishment to feel absolution; instead of being mad at me, beat me and get it over with!)

Example 2: As my rules for smoking get more restrictive, I realized that he wants to force me to quit but cannot figure out how to broach the subject directly. I gave him a VERY polite letter hours ago that acknowledge the risk to my health and requested his help with a schedule of escalating punishments that would force ANYONE to quit. Is that topping from the bottom?