I presume you have had other interpersonal relationships during your lifetime...how did you handle those? How do you normally interact with women on a day-to-day basis? Especially at first, I don't believe a D/s relationship should be all that different from any other type of relationship. For instance:

Hey, we have something in common!
Hey, she's (he's) attractive to me!
Hey, I wonder if she thinks I'm attractive and worth finding out more about?

You're asking two different questions here. First, you asked how to become a successful dominant. Later you go on to say that your main issue is that you're not quite sure how to interact at all...

Showing that you're caring and loving will come with time. If you're looking to get yourself noticed, I suggest following (and responding to) posts here on the forums. There is also an open chat where you could "practice" talking to others.

Good luck to you and I do hope that you're able to find someone you're compatible with.