Hmmm ... let's see. "Dim dom" is also not just an urban legend. A number of my confreres strike me as delightful people who frequently lose the TV remote and are a, uhhh, a couple beers short of a six-pack. That's not to impugn their sincerity, passion, devotion or caring. They just are really good at being human.

A second thought is that committed relationships (much less love) are really hard for doms. The essence of being a dom is control, endless and unquestioned, over her. But also over yourself. The essence of being in a committed relationship is the loosening of control, the admission of doubt and vulnerability and need and longing. It's a very un-dom state. Several of my brethren seemed terrified that the slightest crack in their dom-armor would lead to the eventual unraveling of everything they'd built. Not just their relationship with, or over, the girls but also their very identities. And so they were always "on." Some held fast while being gnawed away from the inside. A few became caricatures, fleeing from any relationship that began to generate feelings and constantly finding new girls to impress. Some matured and succeeded, creating the sort of strict, loving authority that was the ideal for many Victorian men.

As to the age gap, meh. Both partners need to have a sense of humor on the matter because it's going to poke its ugly head up in a surprisingly number of ways, from texting etiquette to cultural references to chipmunk's abysmal taste in music (she thinks there was music in the 1980s, I know better). I suppose if your relationship has a DD/lg cast, that might spill over into other subjects but I don't think the whole condescension thing is primarily driven by age.

For what that's worth,

S.