Quote Originally Posted by AzraelCoburn View Post
I truly thank you all for your comments and advice. It is rather complicated to explain really. This was not really a net relationship but a real time one. I am uncertain what it is that causes me to act in such a way... but I know I want her, and want to be the one who breaks her. Yet then again as people have always stated... I have indeed always had a problem with wanting what I can not possibly have.

As for my dominance... Yes it is true, perhaps this whole thing is just putting me in a series of doubts. I know it is not the factor of what I do or how I handle subs. I am quite confident in everything that I do now. I am just curious if any has ever, you know, been through a likely situation. I mean part of me wonders if an early retirement would be for the best. Perhaps wait until the time comes along again to take up the whip. It is dreadfully confusing really, I hate to admit it, but this is almost like a high school crush drama scenario. At least that is what I keep telling myself. Oh well...

Once more thank you for your comments, and please keep them coming. Your help is greatly appreciated and held with the utmost respect.

Azrael
I read your posts and the replies and I wonder if maybe you put all this pressure on yourself. I have seen other Doms do this. Everytime they begin with a new submissive they act like they need to impress him/her, or show them they are the most knowledgable or whatever. It is a fact that every Dom knows He/She is the Best ever (just kididng- well maybe not that much).

I think what might work better for you is not to go in with too many expectations and then try to develop the relationship first (the part where you and she become friends and then partners). Then anyhing you do after will be because you both wish it. It also takes the pressure off you.
Also, do you talk with her (assuming it is a woman) about what she likes, wants....and then try to learn how to do some of those things.

Another point, Doms have hard limits just like subs. So if a sub of mine wanted to really do something (like blood play) I would have to explain to them I can not do that. But, I would see if we could hook-up with another couple that might be into that and let them work with her in it- with me right there looking after her.

I have been with my submissive for 7 years (but, we don't live together) and we continually are learning new things. We also go through our low points, just like any relationship. Sometimes I don't listen hard enough to pick up what she really wants and needs...then I try to surprise her with doing what she wished.

Lots of hard work in any relationaship and usually in a D/s one...much more work.



SirW