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J.Carter04
10-06-2008, 06:26 PM
hello to all. I am a sub all the way but my partner wants me to dom over him during sex, he wants me to go all out and be rough (which is not a problem for me since i like pain as well) but he also wants me to talk down to him and embarrass him. I am not mean at all and have a huge heart all i want to do is please him. I am asking for advice on i guess you would say being mean or what ever...I am fairly new to all of this when i was in a 7 yr marriage i knew that there was something missing in me. when i seperated from my ex i decided to further my education on being a great sub if you will. I love to please and want to please him now i am just needing help.... any advice on my delima or anything with subs would be grately appreciated. Thank you

cadence
10-06-2008, 07:44 PM
Hello and Welcome,

Don't do anything you feel uncomfortable about. If you want start out small with a little bit of name calling, see how you feel and take it from there. If you don't like it then don't do it.
It's understandable that you want to be able to make your partner happy, but if you are not happy with it, it won't work.

I would suggest to you that you post this question in the submissive forum, you may get a few more answers to your question.

mrtbossman
10-06-2008, 07:52 PM
Hello J.Carter 04 , Sounds to me like you need a dom for both of you. Ever give that a thought? If not maybe it would be good for both of you to be subs together under one master.

J.Carter04
10-06-2008, 08:18 PM
ty you so much. both were very help full...it is not that i am not comfortable with it, it is just i have never done it before....and how would that work with a master for both of us...silly me

Kuskovian
10-06-2008, 08:27 PM
Above all you need to comunicate effectively with him.

Does your partner have any experience being dominant?

cadence
10-06-2008, 08:27 PM
I guess I misread, I thought you were uncomfortable, but still start off small with a little bit of mild name calling (whatever you prefer) and see how both of you feel, then see if you want to take it further.

J.Carter04
10-06-2008, 08:28 PM
thank you, he has domed me but only a little

leah06
10-06-2008, 08:40 PM
I have almost the same problem and had not had the courage to post about it. Are you saying that you are uncomfortable, or that you'd be willing but don't know how?

denuseri
10-06-2008, 09:31 PM
wellcome to the site

we are so very happy to have you here, the forums are full of great information, as well as having a very nice personels section and chatroom

it might be a good idea if your partner joined the site as well

as you can see many here are very helpful, humiliation play sounds like a good begining, mabey have him write down some ideas for you to pursue and read the threads in the forums dealing with verbal humiliation play and the like, there are lots of great ideas hiding all over the forums

feel free to pm any of the staff or myself with conserns or questions, we are more than willing to lend a hand

hope to see more of you soon
have lots of fun exploring the site
hugs and kissess
denu

J.Carter04
10-06-2008, 09:59 PM
i am saying that i just dont know how to talk down to him or embarrass him....I am willing to give anything a try....not sure what to say to him while doing what he wants!

J.Carter04
10-06-2008, 10:15 PM
where can i find the thread for verbal humiliation play? I would like to know more on the subject....thanks for all the feedback

Ozme52
10-06-2008, 11:47 PM
First off... :wel

Try a search. If you ask for the post (not just the thead) you can winnow out the ones that aren't actually on topic.

Plus this ==>> Humiliation... including some verbal aspects. (http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/forums/showthread.php?t=13364)

...and browse the BDSM Lounge threads.

Aussiegirl1
10-07-2008, 12:42 AM
Hi and welcome to the site. I am sure you will find this a great place to explore your kink.

leo9
10-07-2008, 02:09 AM
I suggest the two of you read some femdom stories together, with the emphasis on ones where a Domme tongue-lashes her slaves, and either ask him "Is that the sort of thing you get off on?" or just watch his reactions (maybe with a hand on his crotch!)

lucy
10-07-2008, 03:04 AM
Hello and welcome to the forums :wave:

MrDom
10-07-2008, 03:08 AM
Hello and Welcome

rosebud
10-07-2008, 04:28 AM
Hi :wave: Welcome to the Forums! Enjoy!

Wyked Bytch
10-07-2008, 11:51 AM
words differ from person to person, some men like to be belittled for cock size, others for their ability to support those they love, for many just being called a slut, bitch, fag,cum bucket,cum guzzling cock sucker ( usually only works if in fact the do suck cock, but if you do strap on play the words some times put the boy in the right mind set), many of these words work for me and mine. I hope this helps and if it does and you would like some other ideas please feel free to contact me , and I will help if I can. Wyked

MissConfused
10-07-2008, 02:11 PM
I may sound very strange with this
One time when an exboyfriend and I were fighting he started calling me by his exgirlfriend's name
Then when I was totally enraged he started calling me by my previous boyfriend's name
He wanted to anger me but he also wanted to embarass me. It worked I started crying and he won the fight

Ozme52
10-07-2008, 04:35 PM
Give him a nickname... "Tiny" for example.

Or call him names usually reserved for females...

J-Go
10-07-2008, 04:48 PM
Welcome...Good Luck!

Tufty
10-09-2008, 10:33 AM
Hello and :wel to the Forums