Going for the vanilla

[moonlitsub]

So, I have a question and slap me if I start complaining about my life ;) but where I am and the schedule I lead I have a hard enough time finding a normal person for a relationship let alone someone to slap me around make me bleed and just be plain mean. I met this girl through a mutual friend and we both like each other or at least find the other attractive but I find myself shaking my head at the idea because I see it as some what of A a waste of my time going after someone vanilla and B a lie going into a relationship and not completely reveling what I want to her. So I'll leave up to you people who I habitually check in with for a month and then disappear for another should I try it just for the relationship aspect even though I'm almost 100 % sure she is vanilla? Am I asking a stupid question because I question every move I make? Would this all be better if I just kept it to myself?

[damyanti]

No one can tell you what to do as no one knows exactly how you feel.

There is certainly nothing wrong about going out with someone just for companionship sake.

Personally though I have learned that it is a bad idea going out more than once with a person I am "almost 100% certain" is totally vanilla. And, depending on the person, it can also be a selfish thing (giving them false impression or hope).

But then I am a weird breed, I have a strong dislike of all the bullshit game playing in the todays date and marriage market....I like things nice and clear, with anything else you run a risk of getting caught in a Soap Opera. I hate Soaps...which is why I dont date...and am probably the worst person to give out advice on this, ;).

Have fun
:wave:

[symphony]

IMO i would say that it all depends on how much you like her,
theres no harm in trying if you ask me lots of relationships fail for many different reasons but honesty is a must. If when you tell her your preference she runs away then ok it wasnt going to work but who knows, even though she is vanilla she might just turn round and say actually i might wanna give that a go!

lots of people start off like that. Good Luck!

[BelovedPet]

Just because the perspective gal may not have done any BDSM play in the past doesn't mean she wouldn't be willing to give it whirl. Maybe she'll really dig it and maybe she won't. Maybe you'll really fall in love and your play will be milder than you would like but be better than no play at all and it will be worth it because of the relationship you have.

I'd recommend going on a few dates and see how you get along. When you get around to sex, do a little something, like just wrist cuffs, and see what happens. Talk about it after and go from there.

You'll never meet the right girl if you don't even give her a chance. :)

Best of luck.

b

[peterlesade]

I reckon if the attraction is there and the sex is good then anything can happen. It is important to please someone in a relationship and deep desires can be brought to the surface quite quickly.