my journey

[tessa]

At the suggestion of one I now consider to be a friend, I am going to occupy this bit of space and share my story. A story that is just beginning. One that may encourage others in the same way I have been.

Once upon a time, there was a subbie named...oh, let's call her "tessa". tessa was a highly frustrated submissive living the vanilla life. She fretted and bemoaned her plight until a few very wise souls asked, "have you tried doing anything about it?" tessa felt pretty foolish indeed as she had not done much about it, except to stay a might too angry at her Prince Charming for being guilty of the horrible evil of being completely unaware of her true (but hidden away from him) nature. So heeding the advice of the noted wise ones, she spun the straw into gold, kissed the icky frog, loved the Beast (or feel free to choose your own favorite fairy tale moment). Turns out Prince Charming is very fond of a few freaky kinks himself. And the glass...erm, well not a slipper, for sure...well, it fit just fine!

Now it may sound as if I'm being less than serious. Believe me, I am not. For almost 15 years I tried to suppress these submissive feelings inside me, tried to drown out the subbie voice screaming at me all the damn time. I was miserable. I hate admitting that because I truly do adore my husband and he is a wonderful man. It's not his fault I chose to suffer in silence. And for a long time, it seemed so incredibly selfish to want kinky instead of a vanilla marriage. As I matured in my thinking (still have a long way to go, but getting there), I came to understand that it wasn't about kinky sex. It is all about who I am as a person. All of us are unique. We all have different preferences. Some can easily be set aside for the sake of this or that. But who we are at our very core cannot be neatly packed away and forgotten. There will be consequences if that occurs. While my husband knew about my sexual desires, even enjoyed indulging in a very few of them with me, I blamed him for what I felt was missing, that he wasn't Dominant...or so I thought.

One night after, umm well, indulging :o I was feeling especially connected with him...a real rarity. And something just prompted me to spill my mind out all over him (oh yeah, it was that subbie voice screaming, "JUST SAY IT!!!"). Even though I've been with him almost 20 years, trust him more than any other human in the universe, love him enough to put my body through 9 months of sick and sicker so we can raise a beautiful child together, despite all that, I hesitated to actually say the words "submissive" and "Dominant" to him. But sheer need overcame my fear, so I looked him right in the eye that night and told him just what I craved.

Now, I would dearly love to say that he took me in his arms and proceeded to tie me up and flog me to exhaustion. But I can't. I got very little in way of a response from him that night. And I felt a great sense of defeat. Here I'd gone and put myself out there, and for what??? But I knew he loved me right back, so I shook off the anger and disappointment and went searching for the magic spell that would turn my vanilla husband into my prince of a sadistic Dom.

Well, I didn't find a spell, but I found this place. :woohoo: And I met minx ~gives her a BIG hug~ who encouraged me in so many ways. And she helped me get advice from some wonderful people who said "talk to him again and be specific". So I did. And what do you know? It actually worked. We are discussing our marriage in terms of D/s now. Can we say "dream come true"? Oh, I hope we can!

~turns and smiles at all the truly great advice givers...hugs minxy again, hugs Widget, hugs Talia and Sir_to_Mind, hugs annie, hugs TDS, and gives two hugs to Rabbit, 'cause he takes all the hugs he can get~ :) Maybe you all think what you offer are just words. But to me, they are beautifully vivid colors in my life's picture. I look forward to all of you adding subtle, more intense shading as I move forward.

I would love to be able to thank you all in an incredible way. But all I have in this medium are my words, and as I told minx, I'm not so accomplished with the language to do a proper and deserving thank you justice. So I will just voice my gratitude in the following way, hoping it touches you in the special way I intend.

"And they lived happily ever after..."

[suchaminx]

~HUGS~ tessa

I for one think you have a wonderful way with words ~smiles~

Thank you so much for sharing that with us all. I will always be around and always able to listen.

I wish you ohhhhhhhh what can I say - continued 'floggings' - nope continued love and happiness as you explore with your Prince Charming

~hugs~

minx xx

[Guest 91108]

I'm glad to hear things are looking up. I hope that trend continues for you.

" Happy floggings " ~~ I like that.

[tessa]

:o I knew I should have made a list.

And to Wolfscout...thank you for helping with the shift in perspective. Made the view ahead more clearly seen.

~mutters to self about writing the important things down~

And there have already been a few "happy flogging" moments already. Hoping the kinkier moments turn into days...and weeks and years. :)

[Guest 91108]

smiles.

[Miraculix]

I truly wish to add my greatest admiration for your courage to share your story and to express your feelings, and I wish you all the moments to crave for, but not for a moment... rather... for a lifetime, with your Prince Charming :)

[Rabbit1]

Wonderful love ---glad you shared your story and I am always ready to listen and give you advice if you need it

Hugs

[cariad]

Thank so much for your openess tessa. That is a wonderful story which I know will be an inspiration to many. It is also a wonderful confirmation of the value of this community.

Joining others in wishing you many happy floggings.

cariad

[tessa]

~Hugs for minxy~ Coming from you, your word praise is high praise indeed! Thanks! And thanks for being there for me. :) ~hugs her again~

Miraculix, it wasn't so much courage as it was trying to give back only a fraction of what has been given. But I will take your wishes anyway. Thanks ever so much!

And Mr. Rabbit, I am soooo glad you made that open-ended offer! ~big hug~ The questions just keep piling up.

[cadence]

Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Your words helped me to see that the mountain I am trying to climb, need not be so daunting as I see it now.

Wishing you both many more happy and exciting years to come!

[tessa]

Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Your words helped me to see that the mountain I am trying to climb, need not be so daunting as I see it now.

Wishing you both many more happy and exciting years to come!

cadence, honestly I thought the mountain I saw in front of me was insurmountable. Lived that thought for too many years. ~hugs~ You will get there just like you want...believe.

And thank you, cariad, for your happy flogging wishes. :) This community is indeed priceless in its value.

[Widget]

I am so glad that any questions that i answered for you helped you. Please feel free to continue to ask me what you like and enjoy your jorney :)

[tessa]

Thank you, minxy, for encouraging me to become more. ~hugs~

For all of you out there that wondered just what exactly happened to the girl and her Prince Charming during "happily ever after", please keep reading.

Seems as if the kinky couple face real life issues just like the rest of the vanilla world. In the fairy tale, it was probably something like, "you know, Prince, these shoes kinda pinch my toes a little bit. I think I need some new ones." and he was all "I KNEW it!!! You just wanted me for my fortune!". Life does indeed sometimes come at us. For the kinky couple, it played out as follows:

Picture it, if you will. Real life, real child, real mess. Moi trying to do it all (or at least feeling as if I was) and not thinking my Prince Charming was doing so much to help. So in my vanilla frustrations and not thinking so submissively(steel yourselves, people) I growl out, "could you DO something?!?" in a tone of voice that even to me sounded alien. ~hears the gasps of "oh she didn't!"~ Yes, I did. And it was ugly. In my own defense, rarely does something like this ever occur. I mean it could be more frequent as I am very human, but I have more than a bit of self control when it comes to angry outbursts. I taught for 11 years, so I had to learn. It spilled over into the other aspects of my life, thank goodness. But this time, I slipped...big time.

So?? What happened?? I was wondering when you'd ask me that. Understand my child was right there with us (another sickening feeling that he witnessed that). I went back to the mess and did that little pretend-nothing-happened move. He did something. But the something he did wasn't what either of us wanted. He helped with the mess. He was disappointed and a tad angry. I was disappointed and a tad angry. After all, weren't we supposed to be on this grand BDsM adventure?? Perfect submissive, perfect Dominant...and punishment and discipline and control if so needed?? Well, this is real life, so no one wins the perfect award ever.

Next morning, both of us doing our thing. I really didn't have my mind on what had happened the previous day. And I really can't remember what I said, but his response to whatever it was I did say was, "and are you going to yell out more orders now?". I almost started laughing, thinking he was making a joke out of it all as he can do. But when I turned to look at him, gone was my very mild-mannered, never really says much about anything, especially if it involves interpersonal relationships husband and I saw a look on his face that stopped me cold. Let me just say I couldn't breathe properly for a moment. So I got very serious very quickly. He was just looking at me, so I volunteered to go first and said, "do you want to talk about it" and to my shock, he said, "we need to talk about it". And he was very involved with the discussion. He said it confused him that I would act in such a way when I had been so effusive about wanting to be this happy submissive. I said he confused me when he didn't respond in any real Dominant way to what I had done. We both accepted our own responsibility in the matter. And we both reiterated that we desire to have more of the D/s in our day-to-day doings, but we also realized that we were going to have to shift our mentality about what being Dominant and submissive together was all about. But we are both struggling with how to go about shifting in such a way when we've been stuck in place for the last 15 years.

Now for audience participation...please? I am here asking to learn from your experience and knowledge, from Dominants and submissives. Your perspectives on what happened, how it was handled initially and the way it played out afterwards. I guess I am hoping that anyone with experience in living out a D/s relationship (in whatever form that may be in...online or face-to-face...it's all real life) can relate to this and maybe even share what happened in his or her situation. And for Dominants and submissives who just are who they are on their own at the moment, I would appreciate hearing your take on it as well. What could have been done and said, on both our parts? And while I am a great fan of witty humor (please include all you can), I do hope it will be laced with the seriousness I seek. Not asking for any big drama, just some insight from those who know more than we do and are willing to share with us.

For those of you who choose to share, I thank you in advance. I will thank you after the fact as well, but just so you know beforehand. :)

Gratefully-
tessa

[Dorkalicious]

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I can't believe I missed it before....*D'oh*.

Honestly, the whole beginning does sound sort of like a fairy-tale, and I love the humor you put into it :) I know not everyone has that sort of chance.....and of course I read your second post...I could say some stupid remark about "All good things...."...>.>...But I doubt that will be the case. 15 years is a long time, but you have courage, and if he is willing to talk things out then possibly, one of these days you two will find your path again. Everyone here is very helpful and supportive, and though I personally do not have any advice (I'm 19! haha, boy do I have a lot to learn)... I'm almost positive someone will.

Thank you once again for sharing your story. That itself took a lot of courage :)

[tessa]

What I am finding here in this great community is that everyone, regardless of the package they come in, has something of worth from which to learn...even 19-year olds. :p And I will say this again...it's not courage, it's the sheer desperate need to do whatever I can to make this work in my life. I have waited (and wasted) so much time. I am determined not to do that any longer.

So ~giving Dorkalicious a little hug~ I guess we will be learning together? Let's hope so anyway. :)

[submissive sugar]

tessa,

I don't have much advice to give either because my husband and I are in the same predicament. I think the fact that He was willing to talk about it was great ... Everyone is going to have bumps in the road ... even the submissive who knows she's submissive and is with a Dominant who's known he's a Dominant (does that makes sense) ... every relationship has times when things happen that aren't so great. I have to say ... I'm in awe at your control of your anger ... I think this is why my own journey has been so rough ... up untill about 8 months ago I had been in a power struggle with my husband .... getting angery with him, barking out orders, pretty much topping him ... in everyday situations as well as the bedroom. One day in a particularly bad argument .... He looked me dead in the eye very seriously and said ... "Are you a submissive or not?" ... We talked for a long time after that and what I finally realized that it was ME that was stopping my own fairytale ending. For some reason I had gotten it into my head that my husband couldn't be my Dominant, that He would never be my Dominant. I didn't trust him ... although, I really had no basis for that mistrust (yes, I know I'm a cooky girl) ... In fact if anything ... He had reason to not trust ME. It's been a very strange long road and we are still trying to figure things out ... Right now our goal is my anger issues .. which I'm glad to report are pretty much under control ... We've decided to work on one goal at a time with me ... because I have a lot of emotional baggage.

I'm sorry this is all rambaling ... I just wanted you to know that I can sympathize with you.

[tessa]

submissive sugar, every word you put into your message makes perfect sense to me! Every word! It's not rambling...it's thoughtful and wonderfully presented. :) Knowing that we aren't alone in this makes it so much easier, doesn't it?

And I was angry...very angry. But someone told me once that being angry at the one who doesn't have a clue isn't very fair. My anger was a mask for the frustration I felt at not being able to have D/s a part of my life. And that was my fault, not my husband's. I completely understand the part where you said, "for some reason, I had gotten it into my head that my husband couldn't be my Dominant...I didn't trust him, even though I had no basis for that mistrust". EXACTLY! There was no basis for my feeling that way. It's a difficult day when you wake up and realize you've been at fault the entire time. I had never given my husband a chance to be what I wanted him to be. At least now, we are on our way...as bumpy and rocky as the road may be.

I don't know the precise nature of your emotional baggage. We all have some to one extent or another. How we let it affect our lives, I am coming to realize, is entirely up to us. It can trap and smother us if we let it. Or we can try pushing through the issues and allow it to change us for the better. I am still working on all of it though.

Want to talk it through with a understanding soul? Pm anytime. :)

[Ruby]

Hi Tessa,

Thank you for sharing your adventures with us.



Seems as if the kinky couple face real life issues just like the rest of the vanilla world.

A profound and true statement!



Picture it, if you will. Real life, real child, real mess... I growl out, "could you DO something?!?" in a tone of voice that even to me sounded alien. ~hears the gasps of "oh she didn't!"~ Yes, I did. And it was ugly.

Smiles and nods head. You have heard the saying that being a submissive is not the same as being a doormat. Yes? That just because you are a submissive, you still have emotions, needs, wants, etc. Yes? Good.

Cause we've got more going on here than you taking the role of a submissive.

We're talking about you being a mom.

Some things to think about in your mom role:

The longer the mess is left, depending on the mess, the more dangerous the situtation to the child. Were you doing what you needed - though not in the way you would have liked - to protect your child?

What part of being dominanent means your husband doesn't have to help with parenting?
Cleaning up messes?
Protecting the child?
Etc.

Have the two of you discussed the time and place where you want to "act out" your submissive and dominant roles?
In front of friends?
Family?
Strangers?
In the bedroom?

As a parent of two teen boys, I can say that "timing is everything".

Perhaps you could have said, "Honey, may you please help with this? May you please take junior out of the room while I clean this up?" or whatever the perfect thing to say. And we always come up with those things after the fact.

However, you can also ask yourself, what role do you want to take during any crisis and how do you want your child (and future children) to view you?

Why didn't you want your husband to help out?
Did you think this affected your ability to serve him?

Doms have to serve their subs, too.
It's a two way street.



So?? What happened?? ... I was disappointed and a tad angry... After all, weren't we supposed to be on this grand BDsM adventure?? Perfect submissive, perfect Dominant...and punishment and discipline and control if so needed?? Well, this is real life, so no one wins the perfect award ever.

LOL on the perfect award. It isn't out there.
As to your adventure, well you are on it.

The ability of couples to stay in their dom/sub roles 24/7 is about as easy as being perfect. Life happens. Often. And who's to say a feisty sub isn't what is needed at any moment.


He said it confused him that I would act in such a way when I had been so effusive about wanting to be this happy submissive. I said he confused me when he didn't respond in any real Dominant way to what I had done. We both accepted our own responsibility in the matter. And we both reiterated that we desire to have more of the D/s in our day-to-day doings, but we also realized that we were going to have to shift our mentality about what being Dominant and submissive together was all about. But we are both struggling with how to go about shifting in such a way when we've been stuck in place for the last 15 years.

Yes, yes, yes!!!!

I know many couples where who is the dom and who is the sub is rarely guessed accurately. We all have our own personalities that shine through. There is no rule book, except the one we make up and continue to modify.


What could have been done and said, on both our parts?

A zillion things could have been done and said, yet you two made huge progress, you discussed it.

What could you have done better?

Discussed what happened after the incident and not waited for the next day.

You could have immediately apologized to your husband for yelling/barking at him.

He could have taken charge and asked for an apology.

Rudeness, in front of children is not a good thing, regardless of the dom/sub role you've taken.

What can you do in the future?

Take the time to constantly ask yourseleve's if the changes you are making in your relationship are working for the both of you.

Keep up with the great communication and sense of humor.

Adjust, modify, learn, laugh and move on.

Cause as you've pointed out, that "Perfect" award isn't available.

Hang in there, Tessa

Ruby
:rose:

[Tasker]

All I can say at this time is I hope you both find the same joy that childbride and I are finding.
Getting out of habits developed over years takes time but it happens as you adjust to your new chosen life.
It is a wonderful journey of exploration and we both wish you the joy we have found.


It is great to see this thread as you share the experience you both are going through.

Good luck
Tasker

[tessa]

Have you ever had the need to laugh, cry, jump up and down and scream all at the same time?? After reading these responses, that's just how I feel. I also feel as if I've found just the right place to be. :) I must again say that it was the suggestion of Rabbit who led me to post in the first place and the encouragement of minx to add to this little narrative of mine. So many here have already played a part in this developing life story, and I am profoundly grateful.

Tasker, it was one of your posts that opened my frustrated mind to even the possiblity. I thanked you privately, now I am giving you my thanks in this way. ~hugs~ My sincere appreciation to you for sharing in the first place. :)

Ruby...oh dear, sweet, she-knows-just-what-to-say Ruby...for your response, well, I could weep. The thought and time you put into what you have said here blows me away. Ok, your stories are really, really, really good, and not to take away from them in any way, but this reply of yours is incredible! I hope anyone else in a situation similar to mine (and there are, so y'all read what she said too!) will benefit as much as me. I am going to take each question, each suggestion and sift through them again and again until they become part of my mental processing. And I will share all of this with my husband. If you aren't making a lot of money from being a life coach, you should be! Dr. Phil who??? (I might infuse some humor into my words, but the sentiment behind the thought is all the way serious!) I'm actually miffed that I can't stay up any later to go through your questions and answer them for myself now! And if my husband didn't have to wake up so bloody early, I'd be all over him with this right now. Someone mentioned something about patience...guess this is one of those times. :icon277: But I am coming back to this ASAP! A wonderful gift you have given me, Ruby. ~big hug~ Truly...thank you!

[Ruby]

Tessa, big hugs right back at you. You rock!

[Dorkalicious]

*Hugs!* :) Not much else I can put in here but *hugs hugs hugs*...Lol. :) Ruby, you have some very good advice there!

[suchaminx]

*hugs tessa*

tessa thank you for your very kind words but you are the one doing all the hard work and your posts paint such vivid pictures for us all ~smiles~

You are right though, this is a wonderful place, made all the better by sharing :)

love and hugs

minxy xx

[tessa]

So...I really should have titled this thread, "At a Snail's Pace".

For all of you out there wondering about whether or not to mention BDsM to your significant other, just realize that the introducing it is the easy part. It's the after that gets all complicated...and slow going! Is it so overwhelming to contemplate, I wonder? Is that what the hold-up is? It can't be because I've been overassertive or anything. Ok, I know I'm waaaaayyyy past impatient, but I haven't been all up in his business about it (like I was that one time). Encouraging and slightly eager...those are the words I would use to describe how I've been. Considering my mind is screaming, "what the hell does a submissive have to do to get tied up around here?!?", I think I'm doing very well. (That's oversimplifying, of course, but accurate in it's own way.) My feelings on all this are that it just shouldn't be so difficult, not when two people actually want the changes. So something must be up. However, I am just a little bit weary of trying to sort it all through. It has to be over the top frustrating, and probably closer to tragic, for those who are with someone who won't even consider a change in lifestyle. Which makes me feel awful for even boo-hooing in the first place. I do believe I will go about the business of getting over myself now.

The tale of Prince Not-So-Domly and Subbierella will just have to go back on the shelf for awhile. Thanks to all of you who helped me turn those first few pages.

But I will always be waiting for the happy ending. Hope is a good thing...right?

[Ruby]

But I will always be waiting for the happy ending. Hope is a good thing...right?

Tessa,

It's a very good thing.

Sometimes it feels like two steps forward and three steps back. Timing is everything and making time can be a huge help.

It's not topping from the bottom to provide him with all the hints he needs:

* telling him what you want and how much it excites you
* scheduling a date night
* sending the child(ren) out to a sitter/aunt/grandparent
* having all the toys, props, etc. ready before hand, so he can see them when he arrives
* greeting him with a cheerful attitude and giving him time to acclimate, take a shower, whatever he needs to ditch the day
* serving him dinner in one of your favorite costumes or nothing at all
* ... you fill in the blank

Sometimes a girl has to drop a ton of bricks to get tied up!

Good luck on the next step in your adventure,

Ruby

[tessa]

Sometimes a girl has to drop a ton of bricks to get tied up!

Good luck on the next step in your adventure,


Ruby, as before, your advice/words/encouragement are so incredibly welcome and needed. Thank you again for the thought you put into your response and for knowing how important and not so easy this whole thing can be.

Now, I'm off to the hardware store for that ton of bricks...and anything else that might be useful. :)

So very sincerely-
tessa

[tessa]

Over a month since my last post here?? How did that happen? Oh, yes. Life happened.

First off, I have to thank the special people who have offered advice and counsel. Your words have helped, encouraged, calmed, chastised, directed and supported me more than I could ever adequately express. My sincere thanks!

It has been a slow go. No denying that. But it has been progressing, despite me (and that's saying so much). This D/s living is complicated. I say that because it's laced with life- work, sickness, a child, and just the everyday of getting it all done. It does nothing but harm to be impatient. What a hard lesson to learn. But I think I'm on my way to developing some patience in all this. If I want this in my life, I'd better learn. So I am.

It's been pointed out to me that I over-analyze issues. And you know what? It's so true! I can take a clear positive and turn it into a negative in half a second flat just because I choose to. How useless is that? Very, to answer my own question. My husband is trying in this. He is leading us to where we both want to be. I can see that. So why do I fuss and pout and stomp my feet when something that is clearly a move-ahead happens? Because I didn't deem the move as being bold enough? Because I didn't control how it played out? Because it wasn't how I would have done it. Can we see a commonality here? I do. Well, now I do. I didn't. I was my own worst enemy. I still would be if those very generous in spirit individuals hadn't been helping me as they have. I have taken thier advice to heart and it is working.

The tale I am about to relate says a great deal to me about how far my husband and I have journeyed in a short time, due largely in part to the support I've gotten from here. We went to my favorite place in North Carolina- a shop that sells the most beautiful pottery ever, which I happen to collect. Well, I was planning on getting two pieces to add to my collection, but as it always happens, I saw a third piece I just had to have. So I proceeded to pick it up and turned to make my way to the register. My husband blocked my path and when I moved to go around him, he asked me if I had forgotten something. I said "um, don't think so" as I really couldn't think of anything. He reminded me that we had agreed that I would only get two pieces. I said "yeah, but I like three." He just stood there looking at me. It finally dawned on me that he was expecting me to ask permission to get it (insert blonde joke here). I was incredulous, to put it mildly. I think I even asked him if he was serious. He was. So with a huge grin on my face, I asked him if I could also get this other piece. And with the shopkeeper looking on and not five feet away, my husband, the man I believed didn't have it in him, said "beg for it". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I was that happy.

Then reality hit. I was in a very small place with other people! How and what and oh my gosh!!! But he was delightedly serious. My mind was spinning because I know the shopkeeper could hear us. It was for real! My husband had expectations that he wanted met. He would have said no if I had laughed it off or chose not to do as he requested (I'm looking at that lovely piece of hand-crafted artwork as I type this, so I guess I did an okay job of it). So I did what I'd been dreaming about. Because my Dominant wanted it, I begged for something. It didn't make a difference what I was begging for. It just mattered that he demanded it and I was obeying. For me, this was momentous, a big step for us together as a D/s couple. I'm still smiling about it.

It is taking time...and more time and more time. But you know, that's okay. Because more time just means moving further ahead. And last night, my husband asked if I would consider referring to him as "Master".

How's that for moving right along?

:)

[suchaminx]

WOW tessa do you know how big a smile I have on my face after reading that.

I am so so happy for you, happy and proud of you!

It is stories like yours that make this site so wonderful, the love and support of others given so freely with only one thought in mind - happiness for friends

love and hugs

minxy xxx

[ceegee{Benz}]

chuckles.......... there is nothing more gob smacking when they saaying in the middle of somewhere public...beg for it...and ur stood there going eh???? what u going on about....then realisation hits u full on LMAO.

am glad ur story and journey is progressing and sounds like you are both enjoying your new found lifestyle.
keep ur chin up and keep smiling...u both deserve to have a piece of what we all love.

oh and btw...just wait till u are both out clothes shopping and u go and try something on in the changing rooms and he follows u...taking whats his in the cubicle LMAOOOOOOOOOO

cg
xx

[pixie_dust]

*big hugs* Your story has given me such a big smile! Congratulations!!! It's so nice to hear how well things are progressing and of your success in each stride. :)

[cadence]

*super big hugs to you!!*

Congratulations!!, I am so glad to hear that you are progressing forward to what you want in your life.
Your story has made me smile and kudos to you!!

[tessa]

:)

minxy, that you care enough to be happy for me feels like a gift. That you are proud of me, well that means more than I can even say. ~hugs you tight~

pixie, your words are like a sweet hug. Thanks for your kindness! (Hopefully one of these days, we'll finally coincide in chat ~crossing my fingers~)

cadence, I feel like we're kind of going through this together. We're here for each other. Another great thing in my life! :)

And ceegee, I can't wait for that dressing room event to happen! Thanks for that image!!

~big group hug~

Those always feel so good! :p

[ceegee{Benz}]

:)



And ceegee, I can't wait for that dressing room event to happen! Thanks for that image!!



or in the supermarket when u are at the freezer section....as u bend over to get something to put into ur shopping trolley and he creeps up behind u....pressing himself against u...taking u there and then........

just a feew more images to add to the folder that is growing..smirks

hugzzzzzzzz

[Psynymph]

*licks tessa* i'm sooo glad i got to meet and play with you in the room last night!!! hopefully we'll do that again!

it also spurred me to finally read your thread,which i had been meaning to since i came back around.

when i first came to this community, i believe one of my first threads had to do with what to do about a vanilla husband? granted, i was only four years into the relationship at the ( one year into marriage) plus we didn't have any kids. but i was young and newly married and then i discovered this lifestyle.

it was agonizing to discover this side of me, which now in hindsight i realize has always been there, and be unable to express it. i cannot imagine how hard it was for you, to keep it supressed for so long. the very idea doesnt even register in my impatient impulsive little mind.

of course reading your thread just made me sooooooo happy because though it's a hard journey, it looks like it will be a wonderfully successful one. although i wish you would go into a bit more detail about certain things.... *wink, wink*

your also an extremely intelligent, open-minded, self-aware person. your stubborn but you admit to your stubborness. your impatient, lol but you admit to your impatience. ( oh what happened to that damn petition by the way??)

i honestly, and sincerely look forward to each and every post you make about you and your husbands growing D/s relationship. it gives me hope, that one day, maybe we share success stories.

oh and yeah... remember DETAILS... explicit, raunchy details...... erm... helps with the advice giving.... really it does.... *weg*

[tessa]

[QUOTE=Psynymph]*licks tessa* i'm sooo glad i got to meet and play with you in the room last night!!! hopefully we'll do that again!

Girl! ~licks back~ You are too much fun! I had a time and a half misbehaving with you! Let's do it again real soon, ok?? ;)

I read through your "married Vanilla" thread when I first joined (in fact, I've read through most of your threads). I could relate to so very much of it, found myself nodding throughout (that's when you know it's hitting home). After listening to and heeding the advice of those much wiser than I, this issue of BDSM, as it relates to my marriage, has been easier to deal with. And to put it bluntly, I needed to get over myself and just deal with the fact that all this is going to take time to develop. What is so horrible about that? Let me answer- nothing. Who am I to say, "poor me" when I have a husband who is more than willing to travel down this path with me, who loves me for me (bless his heart) and who shares a trust with me that is unshakable? Again, on the advice of one who knows, I am choosing to focus on the positives of what are and what can be rather than focusing on what isn't happening right now. (I'm trying not to look too pleased with myself. Is it working? Insert spanking here if necessary. Please?)

You know what you have going for you? Besides youth (grr). You have an open mind, one that at least validates your desires in this. When I was your age (ack! that hurt to say!) I didn't even allow myself to dwell too much on what my true desires were. I always believed that something must be terribly wrong with me to want what I wanted. Because of that feeling, I projected my perspective onto my husband- if I wasn't going to allow myself to go skipping down the BDSM trail, I was just sure he wouldn't want to go there either. How vastly unfair to us both. And tragic. Too many wasted years! But that was then, and now, well it's happening for us! So I think you'll find your way with a bit more ease than I did. And you've said you're taking a step back, taking some time for introspection, to help yourself figure out what all this means to and for you. That's a good thing. You must ultimately be comfortable and loving with yourself before you can be that way with another. And if it is something you truly want, you'll get it. Something tells me that, for the most part, you usually get what you want. ;)

And please, oh bouncy one :), please stick around here! I say that for purely selfish reasons, but I also say it because you can learn so much here! I am pretty sure I am the world's worst submissive. I want to be better, am trying to become a better sub, but with my husband having minimal experience, this place is my education. I discover so much about submissiveness and Dominance by reading what the amazing people here have to say. I wonder if they all realize how much impact their words have. I hope they do and I, again selfishly, hope they keep adding to it all.

Oh, the petition is in the works. Wanna help me pass it around for signatures? Since there are those that actually believe patience is a virtue (I know!!! Why would they???), I think doing the rounds naked would help the cause, don't you? Then perhaps they will all be distracted enough not to care what they were signing. :p

So, you're a detail whore as well? Me too!!! Can't get enough of those explicit, raunchy details. I'll see what I can do about adding a few here, just for you. ~licks~

Just you wait and see. We'll be sharing those success stories soon. I can't wait! (damn, there's that impatient monster again). :blurp_ani

[tessa]

or in the supermarket when u are at the freezer section....as u bend over to get something to put into ur shopping trolley and he creeps up behind u....pressing himself against u...taking u there and then........

just a feew more images to add to the folder that is growing..smirks

hugzzzzzzzz

Frozen food section, here I cum!!!

~wicked, wicked grin~

Hugs!!

[Psynymph]

*tackles tessa and licks her*

you are soooo not the world's worst subbie.... your just a challenge. lol you keep things interesting.... ;)

like they say... gotta keep those Damn Demanding Doms on their toes.....

[Ronn]

Wraps arms around you and huggggggggggggggggggggggggs you so tight as i smile for you seeing things progressing for you. You are such a wonderful darling friend and a treat to talk to and i hope we can continue talking and laughing and teasing each other. Sweetheart you are a true treasure and a blessing and I am so HAPPY FOR YOU

[tessa]

~wraps myself around Psy and licks her back~ Just wait 'til I have time to post about what happened Thursday. I will win "world's worst subbie" hands down. People will be begging me to take the damn award.

And ronn, I have said this before and before, you are a sweetie! ~hugs~

[Mishka]

My husband blocked my path and when I moved to go around him, he asked me if I had forgotten something. I said "um, don't think so" as I really couldn't think of anything. He reminded me that we had agreed that I would only get two pieces. I said "yeah, but I like three." He just stood there looking at me. It finally dawned on me that he was expecting me to ask permission to get it (insert blonde joke here). I was incredulous, to put it mildly. I think I even asked him if he was serious. He was. So with a huge grin on my face, I asked him if I could also get this other piece. And with the shopkeeper looking on and not five feet away, my husband, the man I believed didn't have it in him, said "beg for it". I didn't know whether to laugh or cry, I was that happy.



last night, my husband asked if I would consider referring to him as "Master".


I cried reading this Tessa. That's wonderful. :)

[tessa]

~hugs mishkalicious~ You are a wonderful friend!

Ok, here's what happened on Thursday. (Part of the reason for telling this has to do with my punishment.)

Well, it had been a day. Just a regular day. I spent some of the morning in cahoots with my friend so we could get tickets to a concert we wanted to attend. We got the tickets, but later that day, I checked online again and found, what I believed to be, tickets for better seats. (It's Daughtry, so I wanna be as close as possible!)

Anyway, as I'm online, I'm looking at the seating chart for the arena, my husband walks up and asks what I'm doing. So I tell him. He then points out that section 'AA' is going to be behind section 'Z'. Knowing nothing of the venue and thinking logically of the alphabet, I said to him that AA had to be before just plain old 'A' section. Right? Made sense to my simple mind at least.

Not giving his comment too much thought, I called my friend and mentioned that I had these other tickets in sight and what did she think. She confirmed what my husband said, that 'AA' sits behind 'Z', so the tickets we already had were better seats. I chit-chatted a bit longer then rang off. My husband came downstairs and I told him that he was right after all and wasn't that something. He got a look on his face- that raised brow, slightly amused, "you're gonna get it now" look. What is that called? No matter, really, as he had that expression locked on his face. He stared at me for a few moments, and I was like "what??" He then said, "get on your hands and knees." I was all "goody!! playtime!!" Besides, I had on a teeny tiny tank top and thought he just wanted to see down my shirt, guy that he is and all.

So, I get on my hands and knees in front of him, making sure I'm positioned just so for optimal view-down-my-shirt lookability. I was getting into my full on flirty mode when he said, and I quote, "I'm sorry for doubting you about the seating issue." At this point I look up at him, thoroughly confused. So I say, "Why are you apologizing to me?? You were right about the tickets." Ok, ok. Even for a rookie, this is a no brainer, but I swear it just didn't occur to me what was going on!

That look showed up again on his face. As he stared down at me, he came back with, "Let me rephrase that. 'I'm sorry for doubting you about the seating issue, (slight pause here before saying) Master'."

This time I got it. He was giving me the words to say. The nano-second after I thought that thought, I realized, I AM GETTING PUNISHED! It was a wow, happy, incredulous, I can't believe it feeling! Elated is a good adjective to use. So what do I do? Look shamefaced and lower myself in front of him? Beg for lenience due to my incredible ignorance? Oh no, no, no! Not moi. No, I laughed. Yes. Laughed. I guess everything came together for me at the same exact time and it was a bit overwhelming.

Well there I am, on hands and knees, giggling about what a silly creature I am. (He told me later that had our son not been nearby, he would have beaten the hell out of my ass.) Know what I found out about Doms...well mine at least? They aren't too sugar pie about their subs laughing during punishment.

It's good to learn something new everyday, right?

[ceegee{Benz}]

oh the joys of having blonde moments eh lolol and TG for kids as well lmao.

Life is all about learning and listening to the different tones of voice used by one's Master. There will be tears of joy...happiness and pain all thru ur training. in fact ill rephrase that...all thru this life big big hugzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

seems to me like u plodding thru this at a ncie speed

heh hehe good for u

cg

[suchaminx]

tessa

smiles and hugs

whenever I read anything that you have written I always feel as if I was actually there :)

love and hugs

minxy xx

[moptop]

God, I just love this thread! You are such fun, tessa, and I'm quite certain that your blond moments will provide MANY hours of happy chastisement in the future! What I like most is that your husband is obviously realllllly into it now - and keeping you off balance by bringing it in to you during normal life, showing you that his dominance is not just for play time that you decide on... it's all just yummy. And yeah, what Psy said - more details, girl, more, more!

[tessa]

Ok, a few details...for those of you who are as detail hungry as I am. ;)

What I didn't add before, but since my husband has now read my previous post and believes this should be added in, was the little extra he included in the punishment, seeing how I thought it was so humorous. While I was there on my hands and knees, giggling about how I can misunderstand the most obvious of things, he decided to add a bit of humility into the mix. He felt it appropriate, due to my attitude and all. I do get to be candid in how it made me feel. Like that helps. I didn't want to tell this part of it at all. For you smartass subs out there, there is a penalty for such behavior. :icon277:

(One note- during this, my son was upstairs thoroughly engaged in Blue's Clues, out of ear and eye shot. I think that's important to mention as this is an issue I would imagine all D/s couples with children have to deal with.)

Anyway, back to details. :hubba:

As I said before, I had on a teeny tiny tank top. The way I was positioned, most everything under said top was open for viewing. He sat in his chair in front of where I was on the floor and said, "I want some bounce action happening there." Knowing he meant my boobs, but really unsure of how to make that occur given my position, I replied with, "well how am I supposed to make that happen?" He was quick to come back with, "that's for you to figure out."

Ok, now I'm a little embarrassed. Which was the goal, I imagine. Don't know for sure as I don't do the think-like-a-Dom thing. So I'm trying to figure it out, as he said I needed to. Let me just say that he was enjoying the heck out of watching me try to figure it out. I rocked back and forth on my hands and knees first. That got some movement going. His idea of " go faster" helped out some too. I didn't mind it so much as I knew I probably looked pretty cute down there, moving back and forth like I was fucking back on something behind me. I must have exhibited some of that "damn, I'm cute" attitude, because then he said, "I want more jiggle."

If you think about it, being on hands and knees doesn't give very many movement options as it relates to tits. There's back and forth (which I had already used), side to side, and in a very limited way, up and down. That's pretty much the idea that flew through my mind when trying to figure out how to add "more jiggle" into this now quite humiliating experience. (Please know that at this time, I am typing under duress...this shi...um, retelling is just too mortifying.)

Side to side offers "more jiggle" as does up and down. Up and down on hands and knees, however, is plain out awkward and not at all attractive. (Maybe that's why he looked so amused during that part of it.) By this stage of the punishment, I realized that the "oh goody, playtime!" mentality was way, way off base. I actually felt chastised, even though it remained light hearted and amusing, well, for him anyway. I really was entirely un-amused at this point, left to figure out the jiggle factor of boobs and everything.

He very astutely pointed out that the reason for punishment was to encourage a change in behavior. And all this time I thought he was slow on the uptaking in regards to the workings of a D/s relationship. I've apologized to him for that, but I'm also doing it here as a public show of my obvious wrong. :o He's actually got a better mindset for the day to day of D/s than I do. Since I get to be forthright in this public part of the punishment, I can say that I feel much more comfortable with the sexual aspects of it all. He's still working on that part. No, that wasn't said with any smugness at all. Really! :)

ceegee, you are spot on- this was training, happy and painful that it was. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it all. It's so not as easy as I thought it would be. Hugs to you too.

minxy, I wish you had been there! I would have had some sympathy, at least. But knowing you as I do, you would have also agreed that it was necessary. You are just good like that. :)

moptop, he is getting good at keeping me off balance. A surprise, but such a welcome one. Oh, and I do hope these details satisfied. :blurp_ani

I have to add that I don't think he thinks I've learned my lesson. He spent time yesterday in his workshop making a seriously wicked looking paddle. It is rather pretty though.

I've just been informed that Doms also don't appreciate paddles being termed "pretty". Something else new I've learned. :p

(Me thinks I'm gonna experience that new paddle soon.)

[ceegee{Benz}]

I've just been informed that Doms also don't appreciate paddles being termed "pretty". Something else new I've learned. :p

(Me thinks I'm gonna experience that new paddle soon.)

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pretty useful tho...winks

and yup..looks like u could be in for a lil spanking with that new paddle...u lucky thing u smirks

[tessa]

Lucky? I'm not so sure. I'll let you know after I am properly introduced.

huggles!

[ceegee{Benz}]

heh hehehe...n throws u a nice soft fluffy cushion to sit on

huggles

[Echoes]

Thank you tessa, this whole post brought a huge smile to my face and heart...and your poem "Take me please?" is breathtaking.

I hope the paddle is everything you wish for and everything you don't...not sure why I am saying this but just a feeling inside...that it is all you do wish for.

softest hugs

[Sir_Russell]

Once again Echoes shows that she is a very caring person.

Russell

[tessa]

~sits very gently, utilizing the cushion the ever helpful ceegee offered~

I was thinking the very same, Sir Russell. Echoes does make a soul smile.

And Echoes, your feeling inside, how did you know? Were you peeking?? ~smiles at you~ That paddle and the maker who fashioned it, those two combined were everything I could have ever wished for. ~deep contented sigh~ Everything and more.

(It also hurts like a snake bite! :eek: )

I am touched that you think something of my poem. You inspired it, actually, with your questioning smile. Did you notice? I am hoping you did.

~soft hug right back~

tessa :wave:

[Psynymph]

oo i missed quite a bit didnt i?

oh and let me say tessa.... i am SOOO jealous... lol, well not jealous, envious maybe.

you and your Master (yay MASTER) seem to be doing absolutely awesome. i realize there's alot of the hard stuff you probably don't put up here, the fights or misunderstandings, but either way y/Ya'll seem to be doing great.

and it's soooooo much fun to read the stuff you right.... i was like sitting here trying to figure out how to properly jiggle the boobies when your on hands and knees... lol i almost tried it!!!

and i really think it's admirable Y/ya'll are doing all of this with children around. it's hard enough with just life in general in the way, but i imagine it's even tougher when you have kids to consider.

i admire you B/both and look forward to the continuation of this thread....

*licks*

[tessa]

i realize there's alot of the hard stuff you probably don't put up here, the fights or misunderstandings, but either way y/Ya'll seem to be doing great.

Loads of it actually. My issues for the most part. ~points to self~ WWS, here, remember? Still haven't abolished impatience or patience, so I'm struggling right along.


i was like sitting here trying to figure out how to properly jiggle the boobies when your on hands and knees... lol i almost tried it!!!
Please try it and tell me what you found out. Please???!!!


and i really think it's admirable Y/ya'll are doing all of this with children around. it's hard enough with just life in general in the way, but i imagine it's even tougher when you have kids to consider.

It's challenging to say the least. Part of what has to be figured out. Along with the jiggle, of course.


*licks*

~licks back~ Dang, you're good at that! :)

[ceegee{Benz}]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

[tessa]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

I don't know. He was watching me type that part yesterday and I asked him if he wanted to join and say something. He didn't really respond, so I'm not sure what he was exactly thinking about. But I'll mention your idea to him. Maybe that will encourage him. :)

[ceegee{Benz}]

kewlllllllllllllllllllllllllllll...waves to tessa's Master

[DareDevil]

So...... when is your Master planning to come online and say hello to us all??? lololol

That would be today. Hello.

[Psynymph]

i wanna hump the car in Your avatar picture....

[ceegee{Benz}]

That would be today. Hello.


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hello and welcome

ceegee

[DareDevil]

i wanna hump the car in Your avatar picture....

I'd like to see that (tessa says she would too) Bonus humps if you know the year, make, and model of the car.

[moptop]

Well, DD, welcome to the thread, the forum, the community - and I have no idea what make or model (or year) the car is, but it looks mean, fast and dirty, and I like that - in a car or in a man! Tessa, you are a lucky bunny, if this av is a good reflection of the man's style!

[jeanne]

Okay, here's my guess and I'll take the reward even if I'm wrong ;)

65 Mustang fastback

[Sir_Russell]

First I hope that my discovering this thread a little late doesn't make my advice unwanted.

your quote
Now for audience participation...please? I am here asking to learn from your experience and knowledge, from Dominants and submissives. Your perspectives on what happened, how it was handled initially and the way it played out afterwards. I guess I am hoping that anyone with experience in living out a D/s relationship (in whatever form that may be in...online or face-to-face...it's all real life) can relate to this and maybe even share what happened in his or her situation. And for Dominants and submissives who just are who they are on their own at the moment, I would appreciate hearing your take on it as well. What could have been done and said, on both our parts? And while I am a great fan of witty humor (please include all you can), I do hope it will be laced with the seriousness I seek. Not asking for any big drama, just some insight from those who know more than we do and are willing to share with us.
end quote

I have a lot of experience in raising kids and trying to live the life. First, a Dom is not a cripple so needs to carry his share in domestic situations, even if your a stay at home, don't work sub/slave.

I would first say that yelling is the mistake you made, a Dom is never going to take orders from sub/slave happily. Learn to ask in a submissive nature. I train my sub/slave to ask nicely, using Master when appropriate.

A quick aside you should have names for each other that the vanilla world or kids won't realize are ways of saying Master or slave. She uses my name Russell I use little girl or my love, she knows that I am saying my beloved slave and I know she is showing respect.

A sub/slave that learns this trick of asking nicely, begging when she can, will find that she can get the help needed without stepping out of character.

As I said earlier I do housework so that we have more fun time together, but I have learned to find out which mmmmm tasks I can do without making her feel guilty.

Russell

PS be glad it wasn't me once the talk was over the punishment would have begun.

[Sir_Russell]

tessa I have caught up with your thread and I will offer you both a little more advice and a bit of the future.

First you must stop calling him or even thinking about him as "your husband" start thinking of him as my Master. The longer you put this off the harder the road will be. The first real step in this is to get your head right, husband is much less then Master in everyone mind. To that end kneel in front of him ever chance you get. When people are near by whisper "Master" in his ear. When you are out where there is only strangers around call him 'Master" out loud, you will be amazed at the smile and glow that will come over him.

Also if you follow my advice there will be a time that "Master" just comes out of your mouth at the wrong time. When that happens to me I cover her by saying "yeah, I wish" and laugh. I had a slave that slipped enough times that it became a running joke around our unkowning vanilla friends. I began calling her slave around them and she just laughed and would call me Master and then sit at my feet while giggling.

Get your mind right tessa and make him very proud of you.

Russell

[~hellish one~]

I'd like to see that (tessa says she would too) Bonus humps if you know the year, make, and model of the car.

ok...after consulting the Almighty Mustang God (aka hubby lmao)...he zoomed in on the pic...analyzed it and says it is a '66 Ford Mustang/Shelby GT 350..lol

i dunno if he's right or not but he swears he can see the "350" on the side there...i don't see shit...but oh well. LMAO!

soooo...where's my humps? ~laughs~

[tessa]

First I hope that my discovering this thread a little late doesn't make my advice unwanted.

Get your mind right tessa and make him very proud of you.

Russell

Sir Russell, your advice is neither late nor unwanted. It is spot on, especially that line right up there. ~points up~ Thank you.

:wave:

[tessa]

ok...after consulting the Almighty Mustang God (aka hubby lmao)...he zoomed in on the pic...analyzed it and says it is a '66 Ford Mustang/Shelby GT 350..lol

i dunno if he's right or not but he swears he can see the "350" on the side there...i don't see shit...but oh well. LMAO!

soooo...where's my humps? ~laughs~

baby girl, you're married to the Almighty Mustang God, too!?! ~laughs~ Oh, mercy! If those two ever got together, we'd be left on the floor with nothing to do but wait on them to finish discussing all things Mustang. Hmm, wonder what we have to do to get their attention??

Since I am the one logged in, I'll pass along the information. (nymphette, don't peek if you still want to try and get your bonus humps!)

Your husband, Mustang God that he is, is correct! However, there is one element missing from his analysis, something special about this particular Shelby Mustang. An aspect that makes it rare in the Mustang world and something that makes it so appropriate to use here.

~giggles~ He gives good riddle, if I do say.

Sooo...here are a few of your bonus humps. ~bouncing them slightly in my hands~ Heyyyyyy, I think I just figured out what we could do to regain their attention! :)

And moptop, that av is perfect reflection of his style- powerful, sleek and a sheer thrill to ride...mmmmmmmm ~gets completely lost in fantasy for a moment~ in. ~composes self~ Ahem, ride in. Yes, that's it. ;)

I do feel most fortunate. Undeserving, but damned lucky.

[~hellish one~]

baby girl, you're married to the Almighty Mustang God, too!?! ~laughs~ Oh, mercy! If those two ever got together, we'd be left on the floor with nothing to do but wait on them to finish discussing all things Mustang. Hmm, wonder what we have to do to get their attention??
oh god i can only imagine how bad it would be. we actually used to have a '67 Mustang Coupe that we were working on restoring until hubby TOTALLED it! yep...you heard that right...completely totalled...~sighs~ not pretty. wanna see a grown man cry? well, there ya go....lmao


Your husband, Mustang God that he is, is correct! However, there is one element missing from his analysis, something special about this particular Shelby Mustang. An aspect that makes it rare in the Mustang world and something that makes it so appropriate to use here.
good lord you nearly drove my hubby crazy with that lil tidbit right there. LMAO he demanded to see the picture again! talk about having a coronary...lol sheesh! he figured it out though!! the lil "H" tagged onto the 350 on the side...~winks~ very appropriate to use here!! i laughed so hard when he told me what the H stood for!! :whip:

[tessa]

[QUOTE=baby girl(W)]oh god i can only imagine how bad it would be.
And it would be even worse than that!!! They would talk for days and still not get it all said. ~sighs~



we actually used to have a '67 Mustang Coupe that we were working on restoring until hubby TOTALLED it! yep...you heard that right...completely totalled...~sighs~ not pretty. wanna see a grown man cry? well, there ya go....lmao

My husband just cringed reading that. Bless your husband's totalled Mustang heart! That is a bad day! If any one of my husband's "beauties" were to get a ding, he'd freak! He's nodding 'yes'.



good lord you nearly drove my hubby crazy with that lil tidbit right there. LMAO he demanded to see the picture again! talk about having a coronary...lol sheesh! he figured it out though!! the lil "H" tagged onto the 350 on the side...~winks~ very appropriate to use here!! i laughed so hard when he told me what the H stood for!! :whip:

DING DING DING!!!!!!!!! You win a free supply of humps for life! Your hubby is indeed a Mustang Deity. And yeah, I thought it pretty sly of mine to choose that particular car to have as his av. That's my Devil. ;)

[Mishka]

*waves*

Hi DareDevil! Nice to meet you.

I know tessa would give you all the compliments, but I have to tell you that you're a very lucky Master.

[Echoes]

Welcome DD, finally glad to hear from you and happy to see you here on the forums.

~hugs~

[gagged_Louise]

And it would be even worse than that!!! They would talk for days and still not get it all said. ~sighs~

Heard this one in a remark about "boys' talk" at weddings, 40-years parties and the like, when the conversation between the guys turns to their military service days:
"the moment someone says "subaltern" or "camp duty" we gals can all go home..."

[tessa]

~hugs Mishkalicious~ You are a sweetheart!!

Echoes, I stole that hug. Hope that's okay! :)

Boys' talk just means I can go off and gossip with my girlfriends about hairstyles and clothes and all stuff girlie. Wanna come with us, Louise?? Pretty please?

:wave:

[Psynymph]

I'd like to see that (tessa says she would too) Bonus humps if you know the year, make, and model of the car.


is it a mustang shelby? i have no idea about the year......

[tessa]

is it a mustang shelby? i have no idea about the year......

~hands you 5 bonus humps~

I think I might enjoy this more than anyone.

:blurp_ani

[gagged_Louise]

I had to laugh too when I found out what the "H" in your husband's car means. Hertz ("hurts", anyone?)... :)

Apparently people owning cheaper Mustangs used to rent those cars and shuck out the high-power engines as a cheap quick way of getting a better one at home - it's not a very flattering story for the Hertz local maintenance staff is it?

[tessa]

Louise! You figured it out too! I thought it was just too clever! Yes, Hertz (hurts :D ) car rental company had the whole rent-a-racer idea. Imagine, paying money for what you weren't getting from what you already had. Car pimps, that's what they were!

Want some bonus humps, Louise?? ;)

[gagged_Louise]

*leans close to Tessa, arm touching her elbow* Honey, of course I'd like a few homely humps. ;)

[pixie_dust]

Welcome, DD!!! So glad to finally make your acquaintence!! Very sweet ride in your av, btw...although I'm sure not near as sweet as the lovely tessa. *weg*

Hope to see you visiting us again soon :)

[Psynymph]

yay i win!!!!

*bounces around happily* so can i use my extra humps on tessa? maybe like divide them up between the car and tessa? oh come, pleeeeeaaassseee!!!!

*smiles sweetly*

[suchaminx]

~smiles~

Hello and welcome DareDevil - good to have you with us :) tessa is one of the nicest people I have ever met, it is a joy to have her with us and I have enjoyed getting to know her. Looking forward to getting to know you too ~smiles and a hug~

tessa- jiggles :) :)- will never be able to hear that word without thinking about your 'story' now

~laughing and giggling~

minxy xx

[tessa]

tessa- jiggles :) :)- will never be able to hear that word without thinking about your 'story' now

~laughing and giggling~

minxy xx

I relayed your message and he said to say hello to you. One day soon, I hope I can get him to sit still long enough to come back in here again. He thinks your screen name is cute. I said it fits you to a tee. Speaking of which, ms. minxy, I think I heard a little wicked in that giggle about the jiggle. ~looks at you~ You can be such a surprise, did you know that?

pixie, he was much appreciative of your welcome and the kind things you said. Depends on the day as to whether he'd agree with you about me being sweeter than the car. :o He thinks your av is very nice, too. So do I, if I haven't said so before. :)

And nymphie. ~smiles~ He just chuckled when I told him what you posted. I got a bit hmpff-y when he said that sure, you could divvy up the humps. I was like, "I have to share with a car??" In true Mustang Diety fashion, he said, "that ~pointing to his av pic~ is anything but "a car".

The idea of a pretty girl on a car makes a man a little crazed, it seems. Ask baby girl. I bet she knows all about that too.

[suchaminx]

tessa

me wicked?.....................as if!!! *ponders being a surprise mmmmmmmmmmmm*

~giggling even more~

hugs minxy xx

[tessa]

me wicked?.....................as if!!! *ponders being a surprise mmmmmmmmmmmm*

~giggling even more~



~my hands on my hips, staring at minxy in the midst of her giggle fit~ If I had my Domme panties on, I'd absolutely spank you. But I don't have panties, much less Domme ones, so there is that. You are something else, little minxy! :)



Well, tomorrow we are meeting Red and her Dom. I'm so excited I can't wait! I'm excited because:

1) I get to see Red again. Woohoo! And I get to meet the man behind her new-found happiness. He counts in the excitement factor.

b) For the first time in 3 years, I'm going on a date with my husband...just him and me. The mom in me feels guilty, but seeing how I've made sure my child will be well taken care of in my absence, I think I'll get over it.

Z) Because this is something my husband is indulging me in, I have to do all sorts of "things" to show him how grateful I am for him allowing this. :hubba: If you don't know what such "things" are, pm me and I'll send you pictures. Ok, I jest. You wouldn't necessarily have to send a pm.

12) My husband and I are going out with another couple who are all about their BDSM-ness. That just floats my boat all kinds of ways.

3) I get to eat a meal without someone saying, "Can I have that that?", "I didn't want Sprite", "It looked like a french fry, so I ate it", "I want to go home now" and "uh-oh".

Now it may seem as if this is all just fun and giggles for me. And it is. :jerry:

But it's also a big deal. This is something I never thought would happen. It's something I almost kept from happening because I thought I knew better. But then I walked in here, met some really wonderful people who didn't mind helping me figure all this out and now this- my first BDSM date.

I can't believe I just got to say that. Umm, type it. Oh, you know.

:)

[DareDevil]

Hello everyone. It was nice of you all to stop by and welcome me here.

Thanks to all who participated in the "guess the car" game. A lifetime supply of humps to those who got it right. (Psynymph, any humps divided up between the car and tessa will be strictly supervised and may be recorded on video for quality control purposes.)

I am looking forward to tomorrow too. Taking my wife out to dinner as my submissive for the first time will make us both happy. She'll be wearing something real sexy, so that makes me extra happy.

[moptop]

Oh, I just love this thread!! Tessa, DD, Red, and Red's man - hope you all had a great date, and hope you all continue to bloom in your life and search. Makes me all happy inside.

[tessa]

Thanks, moptop! You are always a bright spot for me! :wave:

We had a great time. :) Well, I did anyway and I am so hoping our new friends did as well. We laughed at silly things, we discussed interesting topics and we weathered one bad ass storm blowing away the world outside! I hope we can all get together again soon!

It is such a wonderful feeling to be with my husband, having the awareness of what we are with each other now. Truly incredible.

~sighs happily~

[suchaminx]

tessa

smiles and hugs and more smiles

your happiness is jumping off the screen and smacking me straight in the face - it is so wonderful ~hugs~

love

minxy xxx

[Stone]

sounds like a i story i lived hey wait it was just we didnt wait that long.She had much the same feelings as you while i was doing my princely things had my head up my ass while she was hinting around and never took it seriously.Then one day she just spilled the beans we have been living happily ever after since

[tessa]

sounds like a i story i lived hey wait it was just we didnt wait that long.She had much the same feelings as you while i was doing my princely things had my head up my ass while she was hinting around and never took it seriously.Then one day she just spilled the beans we have been living happily ever after since

~giggles at your "princely things" comment~

There is a happily ever after! I knew it!

I am so glad to know you and yours are living it. :)

:wave:

[tessa]

tessa

smiles and hugs and more smiles

your happiness is jumping off the screen and smacking me straight in the face - it is so wonderful ~hugs~



Well, it doesn't seem that you're too unhappy about the smacking, so I'll smile with you. :)

~hugs my friend~ You are so wonderful!

[Ronn]

Am so happy for you tessa it sounds like you had a wonderful time and it was something you so wanted. It is so nice to see a friend be so happy and be able to enjoy life to its fullest extent. Kiss on cheek and hugs

[tessa]

Am so happy for you tessa it sounds like you had a wonderful time and it was something you so wanted. It is so nice to see a friend be so happy and be able to enjoy life to its fullest extent. Kiss on cheek and hugs

~hug and kiss~ Thanks, sweetie. You are a wonderful friend! :)

[tessa]

In thinking through a few thoughts a friend sent me, I had a light bulb moment. I'm developing as much in this D/s relationship as my husband. As one who thought she was oh so developed already, that's quite a light bulb.

As someone who has been pondering about D/s from way back, I wanted the situation between my Devil and I to be instant perfect. I wanted him to be the experienced Dom of my dreams, to come rescue me from Vanilla-land and gallantly carry me off to the dungeon to have his way with me. But here's the thing. He isn't experienced. But I'm not either! And nothing is perfect...ever. Not all the time anyway. If I'd sought out someone other than my husband to be submissive with, it would have been a given that inexperience was a part of the process. And it would most assuredly have been my inexperience to be dealt with. So why wasn't I willing to accept that from him? Because I've been a...~takes a deep breath and faces the ugly truth~ a hypocrite, that's why.

Ok, that's just icky to admit. Eww.

Here's the thing about my husband, this is all brand new. And even though he is getting real into the sex part of it, he's still working through the mentality of it, the day-to-day of it. Most of the time now, he doesn't think twice about forcing me to my knees and telling me to suck his cock, or, to my delight, grabbing the camera and taking pictures of his handiwork. The bedroom stuff is coming along wonderfully. We're both encouraging the hell out of each other in that respect. It is still tough when life is coming at us both and we just don't have the time or energy required to make it sizzle. But we are giving it serious attention, so that's pretty amazing in my way of thinking.

But...and you knew one was forthcoming, huh?...the everyday is another story. But it's another story for both of us. I'm working my butt off to make sure he feels comfortable in his role as Dominant outside the bedroom (cue good-girl applause) and he is making every effort to share this with me (cue Dom-ly applause). I'm far from perfect as a submissive (hears audible gasps of disbelief), so sometimes it's tough. I thank him and love all over him when he goes Dom on me, whenever and where ever, as infrequent as it might be. For example, this past weekend, we were hanging out with family. I was being my own self, directing this and that when it came to my child (ok, when it came to everything). He finally looked at me with that look and said, "you need to stop telling me what to do and start thinking of ways to make me smile". Now it was said quietly and discreetly, but here's my point...It WAS said!! A few months ago, that never would have happened. I told him later how much it turned me on and how freakin' wild that makes me when he says anything in that tone of voice. I also told him he was sexier than Mario Lopez on 'Dancing with the Stars' (which is the epitome of sexy, if you ask me). Those few words were worth 50 spankings and 10 rough fucks! ~thinks through that~ Ok, maybe I wouldn't want to have to trade all that yummy stuff in, but it doesn't change that what he said made it all so beautiful in my world

I'm trying to understand him, who he is as a Dom and what he must be thinking through. I'm sure that at some points in time, he's thinking to himself, "I want to do "that" (whatever "that" may be), but there's no way I can possibly do "that" to her!!" What I say to him over and over, "yes, you can do "that" and more importantly "please, will you do "that??" It's called positive reinforcement. And I know it's working, 'cause just last night, after I said how tired I was and how I just wanted to go to bed and sleep (really trying to make my point, you know?), I got myself dragged upstairs for some nasty action. :264:

No, it's not perfect. But it's ours. That's infinitely better than "perfect".

:)

[Dorkalicious]

He finally looked at me with that look and said, "you need to stop telling me what to do and start thinking of ways to make me smile".

Ooooh...hehe.

It's wonderful that you are so flexible with everything. I'm with you there when you say that you wish you had an experienced Dom run off and take you to his dungeon and have his way -- and lead you. But I see what you mean, learning together. That sounds wonderful too, yes hard at times, but wonderful as well. I'm happy for you. *hugs* thank you for sharing, and giving people like me hope! If not a good story as well ;) I must say you are gifted with your writing, and I look forward to it every time, whether it's a poem or a post about your life. Thank you for sharing that as well. Hehe.

[gagged_Louise]

Nice post Tessa, I'm delighted things are working so fine and that your husband is adapting to his Dom role while realizing on one hand, it's up to him to demand your service and make you kneel and suck him off, or let yourself be bound, on the other hand he can't do that indiscriminately (in a way that would reduce you to be his creature). I totally agree sometimes the tone of voice matters and turns on as much as the physical action, that's one point I cherish about RPing online. When it's good it can be incredibly thrilling as you get to feel the tone of voice, the impact, the choice of words, and then you're free to follow into what you're made to do.

*hugs*
Louise

[pixie_dust]

This is so wonderful! *big warm hugs* I know exactly what you mean by "that tone". Everytime I hear it, myself, I get goosebumps and feel delicious tingles all over. *grins*

I'm so happy for you and all the progress both of you have made. I can relate so well on how much more difficult it is to bring D/s outside of the bedroom. Sir and I have had several situations come up along the way, and we are still both learning. Each day, we seem to become more "settled" though, as you will also. ;)

[cadence]

It is wonderful to read your story and share in your celebration with the progression you and your Dom have made thus far.

Your thoughful insights and unending optimism will undoubtedly help others who share a similar situation develop and grow just as you have.

[suchaminx]

tessa

Your continued sharing of your journey always makes me smile. I might have said this before but watching how you have changed has been wonderful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

I remember the 'tessa' who first found us and whilst I know you are still you, I feel now we getting the real tessa who hopes and wishes are coming true :)

I love the quote - its not perfect but it ours :) made me feel all warm and fuzzy

~hugs, smiles and kisses~

minxy xxx

[tessa]

D-licious, you are a doll, in spirit and in looks. ;) Thanks for being such a sweetie!

Louise, I appreciate your friendship and your encouragement. They both mean so much to me!

pixie, knowing that more good times are ahead for us makes me smile. Thanks for that! So good to know that you're settling in so wonderfully and are happy! :)

cadence? Will you come with me to my next family get-together and tell them you think I'm optimistic? I'd like to see the look on their faces when you do! Thank you for sharing in this with me. ~hugs~

~looks over to minxy~ Ok, I'm just telling it like it is. I'm head over heels for you. That's all there is to it. Spread it around the Forums...tessa has a major crush on minxy! :)

~hugs to all my friends~

[Psynymph]

tessa your so hot!

*licks*

sorry i don't really have anything else to add that hasnt already been so eloquently spoken by previous goddess-like subbies.

so tessa.... when are you posting some pics in the Self Portraits forum?? huh? Where's your husband? let me talk to Him. i'll convince Him to let you...... ;)

[DareDevil]

tessa your so hot!

*licks*

sorry i don't really have anything else to add that hasnt already been so eloquently spoken by previous goddess-like subbies.

so tessa.... when are you posting some pics in the Self Portraits forum?? huh? Where's your husband? let me talk to Him. i'll convince Him to let you...... ;)

I'm right here.

So? Convince me, little girl.

[gagged_Louise]

Psynymph: you realize it's Tessa herself in her new avatar?

[Dorkalicious]

*giggles at the recent happenings in the thread*

*waves at Tessa's hubby* Wanna share? Lol

[DareDevil]

To Dorkalicious- If I share, you'll be at the top of the list. My tessa thinks you're "really cute"...her words. I saw your picture and have to agree.

[Psynymph]

lol oh yes Louise, i know.... *drool*

*giggles at DD* convince Ya huh? *looks all kinds of sweet and innocent, licks her lips*

so tessa remember you wanted me to teach you to belly dance? come here darling and lets have class...... ;)

[Guest 91108]

No, it's not perfect. But it's ours. That's infinitely better than "perfect".

:)

I just reread the last couple days post here.
I have to say the quote above is about the wisest thing I've read on the board in some couple weeks now.
If everyone remembered that occassionally things would be so much better for their relationship.
Thanks Tessa and DD.

[DareDevil]

That just might do it, Psynymph. Keep in mind that the more hands-on the instruction is the better the chances are of convincing me.

Wolfscout, I thought the same when I read it. She makes me proud.

[ceegee{Benz}]

She makes me proud.


as she should do...smiles

[tessa]

~runs into the room, looking at all the nice things being said~

D-licious!!! Yum!!! Share time with you would be sweet! Just like you. ;) Seriously, though, I want to borrow that red shirt you are wearing in that pic of yours. But have it on so I can unlace it. Please?? ~yums up that image~

Wolfie, that is a really nice thing you said. Thanks so much. :)

Louise, you just make me smile. I'm gonna hug you up! ~does just that~

nymphette, I can't wait to get started on those belly dancing classes, but it's going to have to wait. My devil has the day off from work and our little bundle of chaos is at Grandma's house, so um, well...I want to try convincing him on my own two knees right now . But damn, don't you look absolutely scrumptious over there in your sweet and innocent outfit! :bigkiss:

Ok, I have "things" to do. :hubba: oh yay!!!

[Dorkalicious]

To Dorkalicious- If I share, you'll be at the top of the list. My tessa thinks you're "really cute"...her words. I saw your picture and have to agree.

Haha, for a second there I thought I was too young or somethin for your kind of fun xD, hahaha -- Or perhaps that I can't belly dance >.> Hehehe

I'm so happy she thinks I'm cute! *blush*



~runs into the room, looking at all the nice things being said~

D-licious!!! Yum!!! Share time with you would be sweet! Just like you. ;) Seriously, though, I want to borrow that red shirt you are wearing in that pic of yours. But have it on so I can unlace it. Please?? ~yums up that image~


Hehehehe......awwwwwwwwww...This thread is to compliment you darling! *huggles*

And as for that red shirt? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I'd love to share it with ya! *likes the sound of that, hehehe*

[tessa]

D-lish, you, me, that shirt...sharing all over the place! Where did you get it?? I think the reason I love it so much is 'cause of what's in it (that'd be you), but still, that shirt is freakin' awesome!

Ok, I know that there is a "Today I learned" thread over there ~points~, but I'm putting mine for today here.

Today I learned that making my Master proud causes incredibly good things to happen. I mean incredible!

~sighs happily~

[Ronn]

Am so happy for you dear as things progress in the direction you desire for both yourself and your husband. Continued happiness in your journey for you both

[tessa]

~hugs ronn silly~

Thanks, sweetie!

tessa :wave:

[gagged_Louise]

*hugs Tessa tight, thinking of what a good day's work she's doing of being perverted* ;)

[caligirl{Rob}]

big hugs tessa, i have so enjoyed reading your journey *big smiles* as i try to move forward on my own, i've appreciated beyond words your honesty and humor, more big hugs!
cali

[tessa]

Aww! Thanks caligirl, what a sweet thing to say! May your journey be as beautiful as you ever dreamed. ~hugs~

~hugs Louise real tight in hopes of dragging her into the perverted corner~

:wave:

[caligirl{Rob}]

i only wish i had your bravery tessa, smiles! with more hugs!

cali

ps: ronn is right that you are a special person

[tessa]

i only wish i had your bravery tessa, smiles! with more hugs!

cali

ps: ronn is right that you are a special person

~looks around and around, trying to spot the brave one cali mentioned~

I'm not brave, not even a thimble full of it. But you are such a darling to think so! :) ~hugs you up~

pss. ronn is just adorable, isn't he? Always bringing a smile with him wherever he goes.

[orchid]

great post tessa
i can relate to your comment about the day to day mentality of it
as i have said before, my Husband waivers in this lifestyle, which makes his Dom days few and far between. i am still the same...at least i think i am...maybe i better think about that again...i think that i treat Him consistently regardless if he is in Dom-mode or not but its not easy.

[tessa]

my Husband waivers in this lifestyle, which makes his Dom days few and far between. i am still the same...at least i think i am...maybe i better think about that again...i think that i treat Him consistently regardless if he is in Dom-mode or not but its not easy.

Wow, orchid. I think you sent that very thought to me earlier, as I had it. I am not sure if I am consistent enough, but I'm trying. Anything in particular you do to help yourself in this way? If so, I'd love to know what it is?

I will say this about it all- the way we communicate with each other is a million percent better now as opposed to before.

And the sex is phenomenal! Can't fail to mention that! :D

[jeanne]

I will say this about it all- the way we communicate with each other is a million percent better now as opposed to before.

Ours is about 100% better, working on that million! (if I keep working on letting go of my embarrassment and fear of "what is he going to think!")


And the sex is phenomenal! Can't fail to mention that! :D

Oh god yes! LOL

What fun you are, tessa! :) Have a great weekend!

[orchid]

well, i dont think i really do anything

its just a matter of trying to remain true to myself and what i want and need from our relationship

regardless of whether or not he is in dom-mode, i still yearn to serve him and please him so i just keep doing what i normally do.

i will admit that there are times, though, when he is not in dom-mode, that i have done things that i wouldn't normally do - like if he asks me to get him a drink, ill say no, or get it yourself or what do i get out of it - its certainly not anything i would ever consider saying any other time but for some reason, when hes just being a 'normal' guy, im not worried about it

if im being honest, part of it is probably being done to get a rise out of him and push him into being a dom...not that it works, mind you...he doesnt fall for that and i do catch it later for those occurences.

ill have to think about it more and then add to this if i think of anything of substance to add...i never really thought about it before but i will now.

orchid

[tessa]

ill have to think about it more and then add to this if i think of anything of substance to add...i never really thought about it before but i will now.


I look forward to anything you have to say. Learning from others is a great perk of this place.

his_j, you have great weekend as well...with all the p.s. you can handle. (that's code for phenomenal sex :))

[suchaminx]

tessa ~smiles and hugs~

you may be learning from others but I am convinced that your words and your honesty are helping others too :)

more smiles and hugs

minxy xx

[pixie_dust]

you may be learning from others but I am convinced that your words and your honesty are helping others too



Have to agree with this one...you inspire patience and tolerance in all of us, tessa. Thanks for being you!!

[tessa]

Have to agree with this one...you inspire patience and tolerance in all of us, tessa. Thanks for being you!!

I am showing this to my Devil first thing. He won't believe it.

pixie, I will say that you are the very first anyone who has ever said anything like this to me. It means more than you can imagine to have this thought from you. My deepest thanks. ~hugs~

minxy, as this was in part your idea to begin with, credit goes to you. Talk about inspiration! ~points to minxy~ Right there.

~thinks over last night's happenings~ It's very true...good things do come to those who wait...come in, come on, come all over...

~giggles~

I love this place! :)

[pixie_dust]

I will say that you are the very first anyone who has ever said anything like this to me. It means more than you can imagine to have this thought from you. My deepest thanks. ~hugs~

You definately deserve to hear it more often, then. *warm hugs*

[gagged_Louise]

Tessa honey, your zany humour and your sense of the beauty of submission is such an inspiration to aspiring slaves like me. Can't fail to be grateful :wave:
*tight hugs*

[tessa]

You definately deserve to hear it more often, then. *warm hugs*

That is really sweet! ~hugs the beautiful pixie~

So, I got all ready to attend the graduation- hair just so, make-up as flawless as I could get it (I took lots of extra time is what I mean). The I heard that voice calling to me...the one that makes you shiver all over because when you hear it, you know exactly who's speaking in that moment...and the voice says, "I need something from you before you go."

~jumps up and down, all happy-like~ I don't know what I'm doing right (or if I am at all), but a man has just got to be feeling his Dominant-self to request what my Devil requested 5 minutes before the time I absolutely had to take my made-up, dressed-up self out the door in order to attend a semi-formal event...right??

Oh, I hope that's it!!

:jerry: <<< happy-subbie dance right there. :)

[jeanne]

Wow, you are one blessed submissive (Sounds like he's probably doing his happy-dom dance too - I wonder what that would look like?) ;)

[pixie_dust]

Oooh, you must've looked absolutely hot n' tasty! Lucky girl!! *weg*


*closes eyes to picture tess all done up...yummmm*

[tessa]

(Sounds like he's probably doing his happy-dom dance too - I wonder what that would look like?) ;)

It might not be the same for all Doms, but my Dom's happy dance isn't so much a dance as it is a state of being- relaxed, reclining position combined with a slightly smug smile and an all the way satisfied look on his face. :)


Oooh, you must've looked absolutely hot n' tasty! Lucky girl!! *weg*

Again, you are just too wonderful! I might have to lick you all up! ;)

[DareDevil]

I like that happy dance, little girl. Do that for me later.

The Dom dance sounds about right.

[Flaming_Redhead]

Tessa, I just caught up with your thread. I know! *sigh* I meant to keep an eye on it as soon as it started. I just want to say that you are NOT the worst submissive in the world because that would be ME. *nods emphatically* I might even tell you what happened. Anyway, just know that having an experienced dominant doesn't make this journey easy. We all have our issues that need to be addressed. After reading this, my eyes got all teary because I realized that I wish I was more like you. You have learned so much in such a short amount of time. DD is right to be proud of you. You have your mind in the right place whereas mine is just....missing. LOL I am honored to have y'all as my friends. I am looking forward to seeing more of y'all whenever we can manage it. You are truly special whereas I am special with a capital "R." (think short bus...) ROFL

*huggles you in a boob squishing hug and threatens to get mascara on you*

p.s. I loved that "oh no you didn't" moment. *snickers* At least I'm not the ONLY one who gets disapproving looks, though I'm the only one here lately....*sigh*

[tessa]

Tessa honey, your zany humour and your sense of the beauty of submission is such an inspiration to aspiring slaves like me. Can't fail to be grateful :wave:
*tight hugs*

~tight hugs right back~ Louise, if anyone is an inspiration to be true to self, it's you! ~huggles again~

When did my Devil sneak in here??? Oh, well, dancing later, I see. That'll be fun. :hubba:

Red, hmm...gonna call and see what's wrong with you. Capital "R" stands for Red- beautiful, vibrant Red. No short bus for you, hun. More like me??? Oh sweetie, we need to talk loads more! And don't worry about the mascara. I don't care a bit. Get it all over the next time, ok? :) You know I love ya bunches!

[Guest 91108]

this thread just keeps getting better due to the two involved herein.

[pixie_dust]

Licks???? Hmmm....anytime they're involved with you dear, bring 'em on!!! *big grin*

[Eponine]

Tessa,

I finally got the time to sit and read through your whole journey so far.

I really am enjoying reading about this journey and am glad you are sharing it with everyone here. I know sometimes it isn't easy (refer to breast-jiggling demand & its retelling here)! ... oh, and btw, i also love the juicy details as well! i can share some of my own too if you're interested ;)

It's really great to read your thoughts because I can relate to so many of them- and the behaviors you've described as well... even though we have such a difference in our situations.

Now, I have very little experience- living as a slave/ sub...
but... I had some thoughts occur to me about the concept of your master "going Dom" on you...

I think, if he is truly dominant- which it sounds like he is- it will flow naturally after time- whether the two of you are eating dinner with your son or having a randy old time in the br.

I can understand wanting the "domliness" all the time, of course- to me, it's a sexual turn-on, as well as satisfaction of an emotional need, deep in the core of me- as you put it yourself.... BUT... I am learning that being a slave is about: Am i pleasing Master? in anything and everything I do...

Now, i don't yet live with Him, so we'll see how it all enfolds then, but when I'm there from Fri. eve to Sun. aft. every two weeks.. We do a lot of day-day regular stuff... and I _always_ know who We each are...

We're in the store shopping for mirrors... We're in the car and joie's driving and Master's even in the backseat... We're at a restaurant and He pulls my chair out for me... I've even been over there with my son (2 1/2)... and even though I do not address Him as Master, wouldn't kneel at His feet, or other things like that, in front of my son...

It just never matters... We're just Us... always... I always feel safe and secure and loved by Him, I always know who's in charge of me and this relationship... even in those "vanilla" times...

I attribute this to Master- something I really love about Him, and can respect is that He is so self-assured (not in a cocky way at all) of who He is... He just is... Master... i remember talking to joie (this is His other slave, btw) and she said "There is no Michael who is not Master" and I understand that now...

So, Tessa, that's what I mean- if the two of you are right for each other in that way, it will just fall into place... no matter what's happening.

I think Sir Russell always has inspiring words to offer (in many other threads as well)- and I believe he had some really good ideas- & I noticed you finally started saying "my Master" rather than "my husband". Yay! :) Good job, Tessa! :)

And, again, these words are those just from a 31-yr-old girl who's always known (since i was 9, basically) she needed a Master (only the right one- 'cuz trust me, all those other men ~boys~ who came along got their asses kicked by me lol sort of) but has still only just begun to truly live that life (i've had other sub experiences, but very brief and not many).

So... sorry for the rambling!!!! But i saw you still wanted some input on post # 13... oh i forgot to answer that-
i wanted to say
COMMUNICATION
can't stress that enough

i mean.. i'm sure you've learned that skill already having been married 20 yrs! congratulations by the way, that's a big feat, especially in this day and age!

i think the two of you can still sit down and talk about the day-day stuff- who should do what, etc... now, he can have the final say, of course.. take your input, but make the final decision..

Anyway, can't wait to read more of the The Glass Flogger: Sleeping Subbie meets Master Charming... oh well something like that.. sorry, cleverness eludes me tonight lol

[tessa]

~licks my lips looking over at the sexy pixie~ You're just hot, you know that? Wait..yes, you do know that. I mean look at that grin! Oh yeah, you know.

~runs over and grabs the delicious little pixie and licks her all up!~

Mmm, that was a delicious treat. :D

And Wolfie, you sweet thing! Not to ruin your rep or anything, but that was a wonderful statement to make! If you don't have any strong objections, I'd like to give you a little hug?

mari...wow. First off, thanks for taking the time I know it took to comment in such a deeply thoughtful way. (and dang, if that was cleverness eluding you, I don't think I could handle the brightness of it shining straight on me...but oh my, I'd like to see it and try :) ) Several things resonated with me and I just want to savor over them if that's ok?


I can understand wanting the "domliness" all the time, of course- to me, it's a sexual turn-on, as well as satisfaction of an emotional need, deep in the core of me- as you put it yourself.... BUT... I am learning that being a slave is about: Am i pleasing Master? in anything and everything I do...

~nods and nods and nods in agreement~ Yep, that right there! It is about taking the focus off yourself and applying that focus to HIM. In doing that, my needs are dealt with just fine and dandy, I'm coming to realize. And I am SO going to steal what jeanne said in her thread (hope that's okay, jeanne!!)


I think it's just getting to the point that there's a momentum here now and I need to just relax and let him take more of the lead - quit worrying about MY needs and seriously start thinking about and acting on HIS.

Oh yes, yes, yes to that too! You know, sometimes I just sit back in my chair here and get a little awed by the insight offered up here. Amazing! And thank you both. ~hugs~

mari, you also said,
So... sorry for the rambling!!!! But i saw you still wanted some input on post # 13... oh i forgot to answer that-
i wanted to say
COMMUNICATION
can't stress that enough
i mean.. i'm sure you've learned that skill already having been married 20 yrs! congratulations by the way, that's a big feat, especially in this day and age!

Thank you also for this advice. Talking it all through is a major component in the success in all this. But you know what? Until I finally had the sense about me to take all this to my Devil, I didn't do such a hot job at the whole communication thingee. All the assumptions I made, all the opinions I had without seeking his side of it all...~sighs~ But that's in the past. And now, we communicate. It's not all the way perfect, because we are just mere mortals (I know, I know, hard to believe :p ), but it's better than it ever was. And we are definitely much more settled with each other now. There is a nice flow going. I am enjoying the ride, so to speak. ;)

And mari, I absolutely love the new title-- "The Glass Flogger: Sleeping Subbie Meets Master Charming"-- LOVE it! Can I steal that, too?? Pretty please??

Again, I just really love this place. ~hugs everybody 'cause I'm feelin' it~

[Selash]

First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

[tessa]

~wonders if my boobs classify as "really big"...checks 'em~ Close enough, so I'm going to dare enter. ~grins~

Well hi there, Selash. :) Very nice to make your acquaintance. And you are more than welcome to post your intro in here. It's seems appropriate, you wanting to give tribute to this community in this thread as I started it to begin with because of the encouragement from a couple very special people here who welcomed me in and made me feel right at home. I hope you get the very same from all us now.

tessa :wave:

[MajesticFae]

First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

Welcome, love. =) I hope you continue to learn and grow with us. And yes, I believe that my boobs qualify!

-Fae

[gagged_Louise]

Hi and Welcome, Selash - and I can assure you Tessa is a wonderfully warm and hospitable Southern Lady with a big heart - and she's especially fond of hearing other people's sensual, lewd and kinky ideas

[tessa]

~tries to peek down Fae's shirt to see her, umm...qualifications?~ :D


and she's especially fond of hearing other people's sensual, lewd and kinky ideas

Ah, darling, you know me so well.

~hugs Louise all up~ You are just yummy!!

[Selash]

Deepest Heart felt thanks for the warm welcome. I will gladly take in all and anything anyone is willing to share. Thanks for all the help so far and I hope someday I can help someone that needs it.

[MajesticFae]

~tries to peek down Fae's shirt to see her, umm...qualifications?~ :D



Ah, darling, you know me so well.

~hugs Louise all up~ You are just yummy!!



Maybe you'll get lucky one day, Tessa, and I'll decide to post pictures of them!

[Rhabbi]

Tessa,

I think this is the first time I have posted to your thread, but I do follow it. I enjoy all your thouights and the conflicts in your life, and the wat you are open enough to let all of us share in your growth.


First and Formost. I would like to introduce myself, I know this isnt really the main location for this, but I figured this was a good place full of good people. I am Selash, I am new to the lifestyle. While I am a Dom, I am also trying to find myself, I have sub qualitys also. So I dont really know where I fit in. But thanks you all "DD, Tessa, Wolf, Sir Russell, and everyone else to numerious to name' I am beginning to understand more about me and my role in life. I wont step on Tessa's or Mr. DD toes by bringing my own story into this thread, but you all have trully been an asset to me and I am very thankful to be part of this community. I hope to beable to post more and learn ever more.

Selash.

Hello and welcome Selash, confusion is normal at first. Speaking as a dom, I think you should explore your sub tendancies because they will make you a better Dom in the long run. good luck on your quest.


Maybe you'll get lucky one day, Tessa, and I'll decide to post pictures of them!

Hey I vote for the pictures, but I like boobs. to be honest, I like everything about the female anatomy. And I truly appreciate your creativity.

[Selash]

Thanks Rhabbi, and Fae.. Those breast have got to be wonderful I have no doubt. But everything looks better with a couple lash marks or maybe a nice red hand print. :)

[MajesticFae]

Thanks Rhabbi, and Fae.. Those breasts have got to be wonderful I have no doubt. But everything looks better with a couple lash marks or maybe a nice red hand print. :)

True true. Maybe pictures will come in due time... if I can get up the nerve to take some! *blush* I think tessa should join me in the boobie picture taking, since hers are supposedly big enough to enter as well! :264:

[tessa]

Maybe you'll get lucky one day, Tessa, and I'll decide to post pictures of them!

;rose; Please, please?? With a pretty on top??


Maybe pictures will come in due time... if I can get up the nerve to take some! *blush*
Anything I can do to build up those nerves, you just let me know! :D


I think tessa should join me in the boobie picture taking, since hers are supposedly big enough to enter as well!
I'm flashing a bit of mine in my av, but hmm. Maybe we could get together, do a pic thing. Delicious prospect, Fae. :hubba:

[MajesticFae]

;rose; Please, please?? With a pretty on top??


Anything I can do to build up those nerves, you just let me know! :D


I'm flashing a bit of mine in my av, but hmm. Maybe we could get together, do a pic thing. Delicious prospect, Fae. :hubba:

Oh yes. We should start a "submissive boobs thread" in the "self portrait section." Hmm... maybe I will take some pictures of my set.

[tessa]

Oh yes. We should start a "submissive boobs thread" in the "self portrait section." Hmm... maybe I will take some pictures of my set.

"Subbie Boobies" I love it!!!

I'm gonna ask my Devil about this one!

~giggles...hugs the boob-a-licious Fae~

[Selash]

My my.... Naughty little Fae and Tessa... Its so wonderful.... I think the Subbie Boobies thread might be a "BEST IDEA AWARD" winner.

[MajesticFae]

"Subbie Boobies" I love it!!!

I'm gonna ask my Devil about this one!

~giggles...hugs the boob-a-licious Fae~


*hugs the fab-tittied-tessa back*

Oh yes. Subbie Boobies.

[Echoes]

lol everyone! This is wonderful seeing the community laughing and almost colliding together.

Selash welcome and i am so happy you are settling in beautifully here!

Tesse...oh my! How can i say just thank you, for your inspiration, honesty, the joy and happiness bubbling out of you, pouring onto these boards, reaching out to everyone...you are beautiful in your heart, inside and out and this is so obvious.

Your journey, posting here gives hope, insight, such joy as you teach, direct, caress and and gently kiss us all.

Learning yourself, realizing your dreams, DD...both of you help us learn us.

Sharing your joy, sharing your errs and disappointments, or even expectancies
of what is not attainable or beyond realistic, nevermind realistic and attainable, yet life just doesn't allow...

and most importantly sharing the love you both have for each other and for your friends...everything of you is a precious gift that touches each and everyone one of us.

...for caring...

Simply thank you

~hugs~

[tessa]

Echoes, your words brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my heart. Thank you so very much for being so encouraging and supportive. It means more than you can know. ~hugs~

What I am finding as I go on this journey is that there is no way to see around the upcoming turn, no way to know what to expect next. Sometimes what I encounter feels like a walk through a field of flowers, just so pretty and refreshing. Other times, it's a very dark place I find, one that pulls me in and down so far. Both places are important and incredibly special. Finding the balance between the two can seem like a hike up to the summit of the highest, tallest, most majestic mountain. But it's the knowing of what is waiting there at the peak that makes all of it worth the doing.

~re-reads that~ Wow. The blonde got a bit philosophical. Imagine that. Must be a slow celebrity-gossip day. :p

:wave:

[tessa]

Along this journey, when you don't know what direction to go, sometimes it's best to just sit a while until someone comes along that can tell you which way to go. Because if you try to go off alone, getting lost is a good bet. And you might wind up somewhere really scary.

I hate those scary places.

[Rhabbi]

:wave:

That is my vote for a subbie boobies thread.

[suchaminx]

tessa - when you are with friends - scary places don't exist ~hugs~

love minxy xx

[tessa]

tessa - when you are with friends - scary places don't exist ~hugs~

love minxy xx

minxy, you said just the right thing at just the right time.

Thank you.

~hugs and love~
tessa

[Echoes]

~hugs~

I still have 5 more days and will be back around mid-August, just not settled in for a bit.

~hugs hugs hugs~ !!!

[tessa]

ECHOES!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh I've missed you!!!! ~hugs and hugs and hugs~

I'll be thinking of you and looking forward to August!

~hugs~

[tessa]

Ok, I just had a "wow" moment. It had nothing to do with a sexual activity or the threat of a good, hard paddling. Now don't stop reading just 'cause I said that. :rolleyes:

My wonderful friend, Ms. Red, said something to me that made me stop and think. It made me think about everyone I read about here that lives this out on a day to day basis, who try to make this D/s dynamic work in the relationship with their significant other and who sometimes get frustrated with it. I think what she had to say is rather brilliant, so I'm gonna share with all you who read this. I will add that I was venting a bit to her- about the difficulties when two people are so different and when life gets in the way and when there's not enough time and blah, blah, blah. She listened to me and gave me the following:


I'm sure you've gathered that not very many people are actually able to accomplish it (living a 24/7 BDSM lifestyle). The reasons vary from living too far away from each other to having children around all the time. Many things make it impractical. There are the fantasies we live with, and then there's cold hard reality.

See? Like I said, brilliant. :) She sent me focus and perspective. And she reminded me that it is all worth it. I hope anyone else reading this gets the same thing from it.

Love you, girlie! ~big squishy boobie hug, albeit with tears~

tessa :wave:

[suchaminx]

tessa ~hugs~

~hugs~ for Red too

I read the original post of Red's and have to say it does make perfect sense - what a wise lady :)

Fantasy - makes your world rock :) :) and even just drifiting off into that world for a few seconds makes the reality seem worthwhile - because if we didn't have the reality of life guess we couldn't then have the fantasies.

Hope this makes sense to you - it does to me *wonders if maybe I am in my own little world this morning*

~love and hugs~

minxy xx

[tessa]

Hope this makes sense to you - it does to me *wonders if maybe I am in my own little world this morning*

~love and hugs~

minxy xx

It makes perfect sense to me, minxy. :) So, if you sre in your own little world, I must be there with you. That sounds pretty perfect as well.

You are just so wonderful!

~hugs~
tessa

[Flaming_Redhead]

pppfffffttttt *blushes* Wise my ass...more like a wiseass!

[tessa]

I notice you're working on that accepting-a-compliment phobia you have. :p

~big squishy boobie hugs again, 'cause it feels so good~

:)

[Flaming_Redhead]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It shows that much, huh?

[tessa]

Well, since I noticed it just now, in my own thread of all places, I'll do the deed here.

Post 1000. Wow.

It's easy for me to spot that phobia, Red. I deal with it everyday, so I should know all about it. I should. Doesn't mean I do so well with it. :o

This finding a balance is tough stuff sometimes. But it's worth the doing, so I do it. One day...

tessa :wave:

[MajesticFae]

*giggles and hands tessa a cookie* Yay! 1000 Post cookie!

[tessa]

*giggles and hands tessa a cookie* Yay! 1000 Post cookie!

A famous Fae cookie!!!! :D Now that's worth celebrating!

~hugs the cookie cutie~

[nk_lion]

Wow.

I always read the last couple of posts of this thread, but never from the beginning. So today, I spent a good half hour reading from the first post, and all I can say is wow.

Tessa, congrats on your willing submission to your husband. All I can say about the hard times in life is that without them, how would you know about the good times then? I find it awesome reading your thoughts and experiences.

And in a way, this thread has taught me so much about a bdsm relationship, and for that, thank you, and to all others who contributed their experiences and thoughts as well.

May you in the distant future look back with complete happiness.

[tessa]

Wow.

I always read the last couple of posts of this thread, but never from the beginning. So today, I spent a good half hour reading from the first post, and all I can say is wow.

Well, thanks for taking the time, NK. Real nice of you to do so. :)


Tessa, congrats on your willing submission to your husband. All I can say about the hard times in life is that without them, how would you know about the good times then? I find it awesome reading your thoughts and experiences.
I really deserve no congrats as I can make it all so very complicated and difficult. But it's true what you said- without the bad, you don't know the good.


And in a way, this thread has taught me so much about a bdsm relationship, and for that, thank you, and to all others who contributed their experiences and thoughts as well.
I'm glad you think you've learned something. Care to share it with me as I'm still clueless?


May you in the distant future look back with complete happiness.
That is beautifully said. My sincere appreciation. ~hugs the lion~

tessa :wave:

[Rhabbi]

tessa,

Shame on you. Stop being so humble. do you have any idea how many people here look up to you?

[cadence]

tessa,

Shame on you. Stop being so humble. do you have any idea how many people here look up to you?

Yes I am one of those people.
I only wish I was able to write my own journey, but I haven't even left the driveway yet.

[tessa]

~hugs cadence~ Sweetie, we need to talk.


tessa,

Shame on you. Stop being so humble. do you have any idea how many people here look up to you?

I'm not being "humble", Rhabbi. I am being real. And I am flawed beyond my own recognition sometimes. I am no one to look up to. And that is the simple truth.

Do I care about the people here and how everything about this lifestyle ties into that? Yes, very much so. And I am willing to help in any way I can, if it's possible for me to do so. But the "shame on you" would be more than appropriate if I were to accept any praise from others. That would be wrong, as I don't deserve that at all.

Say I'm compassionate or empathetic or concerned. Hell, say I'm a silly flirt. I'm good with all those descriptions. But no one should mistake me for someone they should look up to.

Just my thoughts on it.

tessa

[pixie_dust]

You may be right (maybe not), but we still look forward to your words and the warm fuzzies you give us all. *hugs*

[nk_lion]

Well, thanks for taking the time, NK. Real nice of you to do so. :)


I really deserve no congrats as I can make it all so very complicated and difficult. But it's true what you said- without the bad, you don't know the good.


I'm glad you think you've learned something. Care to share it with me as I'm still clueless?


That is beautifully said. My sincere appreciation. ~hugs the lion~

tessa :wave:

Well, everyone's experience in a bdsm relationship is unique, and most here are already in one. Your story described the awkard beginnings, slow realizations and the excitment of exploration with. While I still have to find Mrs. Nk, I look at this thread as an inspiration about a normal couple going through an adventure together. Your husband is a lucky man, plus that Mustang is wickedly awesome.

So what did I learn? I learned that having a bdsm based relation is not easy, yet not hard if both participants are willing to work for it, from what you have written, and most importantly I learned that you are wildly happy, and that your marraige is a lot richer after starting this journey together.


I notice you're working on that accepting-a-compliment phobia you have. :p

~big squishy boobie hugs again, 'cause it feels so good~

:)

Methinks you have a compliment phobia also. Everyone here reads your thread and gains something from it, while you may think you are simply sharing you thoughts and feelings, to a reader (at least to me) you are doing a lot more. So thank you, and you better accept it or I'll tell your husband to deny you orgasms for a week and say its a part of a supermod initiation.

[moptop]

Yeah, tessa, what nk said. And others. I learn hugely from this, I take hope, inspiration, pleasure, encouragement from it. You are a special person - you are humble, and your humility is one of your attractive traits. But please, take the compliment: you are also teaching, and showing great thought and wisdom. You take the time to consider the path you and your husband are taking deeply and seriously - as well as having a WHOLE lot of fun! good on you both

[tessa]

~hugs all my friends...one big, lusty, groping group hug~

You guys are just amazing. I didn't say what I said to encourage "compliment tessa time". This place is just the best! It's a little rough going right now, just because of the differences between two people and life happenings and whatever. But no matter how upside down or confusing or great or frustrating or amusing it all is, I know I can count on my family here to encourage and support me.

NK, you get my sincere respect for handing my words back to me like that. I'm also impressed. And I thank you. :)

pixie and moptop, you both are so beautiful to me. Don't know how I ever made it along without friends like you. ~hugs and hugs~

I still can't take the compliment, not as it is. But if I am contributing in any way, then I'm very happy about that.

Much love-
tessa

ps. NK, nice ass grope you have there. ;)

pss. Oh, it wasn't you?? ~looks over at moptop and pixie~ Well...~big grin~ Nice. :D

[John56{vg}]

Wow. Since joining the forums I don't think I have read a thread all the way through. But Tessa, yours was so wonderful and inspiring. And not just for those wishing to live the D/s lifestyle. But for those wanting and fighting and striving to get what they want out of life.

You know I have always thought (And now that I am over 50 I always try to play the Wise Old Man) that the people most worthy of looking up to and emulating are those that least think they are worthy of that honor. You certainly are one of those most worthy so I beg to differ with your assessment of yourself.

You are a funny, talented (I love your stories), caring woman and I salute your courage at posting your journey.

I have also learned that for every answer I get to life, 10 more questions arise. But you and DD have learned one of the major secrets, if you care for one another you communicate and you work and it sounds like both of you are reaping the rewards of that hard work.

You are not just a beautiful subbie, though.

You are a beautiful and caring mother,
You are a wife
You are comfort to more people than you know
You are a beautiful, sexy woman

You wear all these hats, it seems to me, with grace, with dignity and with competence.

Thank you for letting me ramble on. ANd thanks for sharing your story.

And I feel like I have found a home here in the forums as well.

John

[MajesticFae]

I love tessa, she is so cool. *gives you a peek*

[tessa]

John, I am touched that you took the time not only to read through all my madness, but the comments you made are priceless to me. Thank you so much! This community is "home", isn't it? I am glad we are here together. :)

And Miss Fae!! A peek?! All for me?!?! WOO with a double HOO!! (that would make it "hoo-hoo") :p Loves ya, sweetie!!

Just when I needed you most...

~hugs everybody~
tessa

[MajesticFae]

And Miss Fae!! A peek?! All for me?!?! WOO with a double HOO!! (that would make it "hoo-hoo") :p Loves ya, sweetie!!


Actually, darling, it makes it "Woo-Hoo-Hoo!" *giggles*

[tessa]

Actually, darling, it makes it "Woo-Hoo-Hoo!" *giggles*

Oh my, yes, it does! You're right!

Even better! ;)

:wave:

[moptop]

pss. Oh, it wasn't you?? ~looks over at moptop and pixie~ Well...~big grin~ Nice. :D

*exchanges sweet wide-eyed innocent looks with pixie* Grope? *looks wonderingly at hand* Oh, grope! *puts naughty, naughty hand behind back* It's just... muscle strengthening. For, um, playing the flute. Yeah, that's right. :rolleyes:

[tessa]

Oh, wonderful moptop! I needed that grin! :D

~hugs for you and for those flute-playing hands of yours~

[suchaminx]

~smiles and hugs~

tessa, with so many people telling you how wonderful you are I truely hope that you will start to believe it and have as much confidence in yourself as we all do.

I love reading your posts, they bring a smile to my face, guess because I feel I know you a little but also because I know that every word comes from your enormous heart.

I love this place too and you are right it is a 'home and a family' for many of us, in good and bad times.

~hugs and more hugs~ for your tough time, right now and ~hugs and more hugs~ for the good times that are just waiting to pounce.

love

minxy xx

[pixie_dust]

We're permitted to grope? Hmmm....

*sneaking up behind tessa...*

[nk_lion]

How about we just say groping and pinching is permitted?

[John56{vg}]

How about we just say groping and pinching is permitted?

Encouraged even, *smiles and blinks innocently, holding a paddle behind his back*

[tessa]

~stares lovingly at minxy~ Is it any wonder why I have such a grand crush on her?? Thank you for all those words! ~hugs~

NK and John, I like how you both think! ;)

pixie, that's the most gorgeous sneak I've ever seen. :bigkiss:

:wave:

[sipgirl]

Just wanted to say after a long absence I truly enjoyed coming back and reading your thread. Your words are eloquent and you seem to be such a strong, beautiful person. I wish you nothing but joy on this journey and look forward to reading more of your musings.

[tessa]

sipgirl, I appreciate your well wishes. I have read your post about your return. I am glad you're back here with us and I look forward to getting better acquainted with you. :)

[Dorkalicious]

Jeepers! I've missed out on quite a bit!

What's with all this groping? No one invited me! *pouts*

Lol

[nk_lion]

Jeepers! I've missed out on quite a bit!

What's with all this groping? No one invited me! *pouts*

Lol

I am sincerely sorry, would you like to do the groping, or be groped :D

[Dorkalicious]

You are forgiven =P

Hmm, I'll stick with the "be groped" for now, hehe.

[nk_lion]

You are forgiven =P

Hmm, I'll stick with the "be groped" for now, hehe.

I'll keep that in mind ;)

[violet girl{MM}]

You are forgiven =P

Hmm, I'll stick with the "be groped" for now, hehe.

Watch out D'licious....He bites!!! :eek:

[nk_lion]

Watch out D'licious....He bites!!! :eek:

No I don't, I'm gentle

[Dorkalicious]

I like getting bitten though!

Specially on the neck ;) Mmmmm

[nk_lion]

Opps, ignore what I said above, I bite.

[Dorkalicious]

Lol!

Gonna prove that sometime? =P Not so sure I can believe you with all this back and forth, lol

[nk_lion]

Lol!

Gonna prove that sometime? =P Not so sure I can believe you with all this back and forth, lol

I'm indecisive :)

[tessa]

~grabs D-lish and gropes the kinky right out of here...takes a wicked bite of her neck~

I knew I called you "D-licious" for a reason! :D

~gropes NK and violet until they give me dirty looks...gropes the other passersby, just 'cause I'm in that kind of mood~

:D

[nk_lion]

I think tessa is in one of those 'tie me up and punish me hard' moods.

[John56{vg}]

*John surveys the mayhem in front of him, smiling, He waves the paddle to the Delicious DOrkalicious*

Get to groping girl *winks and smiles at her*


John :)

[tessa]

I think tessa is in one of those 'tie me up and punish me hard' moods.

SHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

;)

[gagged_Louise]

I think tessa is in one of those 'tie me up and punish me hard' moods.


I think so too

*gropes Tessa from the side and then pinches her nipples slightly, just for fun*

[Dorkalicious]

*melts as neck is bitten* Oh my!

*winks back at John, and gets to gropin' on the Tessa a lil too* Hehehehe


Okay, where's the rope? =D

[pixie_dust]

*runs in with the rope... sneaks behind tessa and gets and big double-handed grope (and a little nibble)... passes the rope to D-lish and gives her a quick lick*

[John56{vg}]

*smiles at D'lish displaying his naturally long canine teeth, aims a hypnotizing vampire gaze in her direction*

~It's true It's true! I have always had unnaturally long canine vampire fangs due to an overbite.~

*Aims a bite in D'lish's direction, then points to rope*

"Well --- Get to tying girl, lol."

[tessa]

pixie, you delightful imp! And what a grope! ;)

I think D-lish is a little sad that your lick was so quick, though. I think I am too. :)

John, you encourage D-lish anymore than that, and I may not make it through this standing up.

Hmm...on second thought, not such a bad thought. :D

[John56{vg}]

*has a moment of remorse*
:dont:
Now all you sexy perverts look what you all have done. Taken a beautiful thread describing a saint of a woman and her journey with her hubby and turned it into a kinky free-for-all, that is just uncalled for and I . . . .

Oh wait, this thread is the perfect metaphor for the beautifully caring and nurturing tessa who also is kinky as the day is long.

Never mind......
Carry on .....
don't mind me .......

Dorky you beautilicious thing you, where have you gotten off to. If you don't want to feel the back of my paddle you WILL get to tying up Tessa NOW!

*winks and smiles evilly at the trembling tasty terrific tessa.*

Silly Dom John

[nk_lion]

Oh bloody buggering crap. I typed a looong post, and accidentally pressed refresh and lost everything.

In a nutshell, I wanted to describe my own bdsmic journey. I essentially described my switchness and how it seems to be more on the dom side, and under what scenarios would I be a sub. I'm to lazy to type it now, perhaps another time

[Dorkalicious]

Oh my :o

I seem to lose track of the interesting threads!!

*Gets to tyin', all quick like too, taking small pokes at Tessa's ticklish parts too* hehehe

[nk_lion]

I think since this is tessa's thread, we should tie her up, and grope, pinch, poke, tickle, tease her.

Ofcourse, I would happily extend this service to any other willing participants (just that tessa doesn't have a say in the matter)

*Gets that rope*

[pixie_dust]

*slaps self on head*

if it's long, slow, licks you'd like just come on over here girl! oh, and bring that sexy, little d'lish with you.

[Dorkalicious]

*Poof!* I'm here :D

[John56{vg}]

Paddles D'lish on her delectable dorky bubble butt.

Where have you been girl. We have been waiting for you.

Finish*SMACK*

That *SMACK*

Tyin' *SMACK. and then rubs the gloriously red flesh*

*then eyes roll back up in head. :hubbahubb :faint: :faint: :faint: *

Sen . .. so...ry Over....load Must ..... Reboot.

[tessa]

*slaps self on head*

if it's long, slow, licks you'd like just come on over here girl! oh, and bring that sexy, little d'lish with you.



~drags D-lish over to pixie, moving as fast as possible, damn the graceful~

We're here! Both of us! ~panting from the excitement~ About those licks...

;)

And rope!! I saw rope!!

~sees John's sensory overload and threatens to follow suit~

[gagged_Louise]

*watches Tessa, d-licious and Pixie from a close distance, seeing tiny beads of sweat running over Tessa's brow*

*grabs a reel of rope and a knife, hauls up my skirt a little with the other hand and swooshes in*
-Who's on first?

[tessa]

~moans at the sight of the knife in Louise's hand...notices her skirt and wonders where she got it~

I don't care who the heck's on first as long as I get to be first!

:wave:

[Dorkalicious]

*points at Tessa* Then me! :D

*Notes John's overload* hehehe

[tessa]

*points at Tessa* Then me! :D

*Notes John's overload* hehehe

You are soooooooooo cute!!

Yeah, John's just adorable, ain't he!

:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

*feels my occasional rough side kick in and lunges my left arm around sweet Tessa's chest*
*pulling her in front of me, orders her to put her hands behind her back, my voice tense and purring*

[tessa]

Oooo!!!! Louise has a rough side!! Woohoo! :D

D-lish, you're next!

:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

whispers "yeah baby, ya never knew but aww, do I know how to have fun!"
*grabs her wrists, cuts a 4' rope length, lashing her hands tight behind her*

-Get down on your knees, lady!

[tessa]

~sighs~ It's kinda sad that this is the only Dom action I'm getting of late.
Life sure can piss on a party sometimes.

Nothing against you, Louise! You're doing a bang up job! Speaking of banging...

~looks over at D-lish~ Wanna have some fun, little girl?

Yummy!!

:wave:

[gagged_Louise]

*wrapping a white hanky around the blade of the little knife, I grab the lower part of the wooden handle, turn it around and push the upper inches of the handle into Tessa's pussy.
*growls "Are you gonna go my way, baby?"
*feels Tessa shiver*

*pulls it out and peeks at D-lish: since John isn't around...

[tessa]

Wow. It just got super-duper hot in here! ~fans self~

Oooohhhh, D-lish?? Louise has something to show you. :D

[gagged_Louise]

*hand gags Tessa with my left hand and coos in the direction of Dorkie "let me show you who I am..." feeling increasing heat in my crotch* :)

[violet girl{MM}]

*peeks in and shakes my head*
Will wonders never cease!!
Sis!! What are you doing to poor tessa?
*winks at tessa who is having soooooooo much fun* ;)

[nk_lion]

Methinks I should just tie up all the subs and spank them all to relieve them from attempting to be domly.

[violet girl{MM}]

*hears nk's threat*
*smiles at Him*
No Domliness here...
*inches my way back out of the thread*

[moptop]

Ooh - nk - I would like to join the queue for that, please!

[nk_lion]

Hmm...lots of subs, not enough rope. Need to improvise.

Ties a loop around each breast, and ties the right breast loop to the left breast loop of sub on the right, and vice versa, a nice daisy sub chain. Anyone has any clothespin?

I'd suggest no one moves.

[gagged_Louise]

*grunts with dismay as lion wrings the knife out of my hand and leaves me tied, hands behind my back on my knees, and breast tightly bound, edged close to Tessa, but also oddly turned on by her sweet scent*

*we look nice i guess, but...what do we do now?*

[nk_lion]

Found those clothespins, sorry I kept you all waiting

*Attaches a clothespin on each nipple*

Beautiful, just beautiful

[tessa]

~winks at violet before she sneaks out~ Always a fun day at the Forums with Louise around. :)

:wave:

[nk_lion]

Violet, get back here, or these subs will suffer even more.

[Dorkalicious]

*Hopes she didn't miss out on her chance for fun!* Oooh, I like show and tell :D

[nk_lion]

What is a man supposed to do with a bunch of tied up subs?

[gagged_Louise]

Ask Tessa...

[tessa]

Well, you never know when one of those IM's is gonna hit. No, not instant message or insane madness. I'm talking about insight. The kind that just all of the sudden is there, without being called on or invited in. It just is.

Sorry to be the buzz kill. Fun's good, don't get me wrong. But within the playtime, you have these realizations- moments that just seem so clear and bright. Interesting how that happens. I've learned to pay attention to them.

Along this journey, I've met so many wonderful people here in this community, many of them right here in this little thread of mine. People who have advised me, counseled me or have just been there when I needed a shoulder to boo-hoo on. I learn from each and every one of you lovely souls. And sometimes I am fortunate enough in that they share some of their journey with me.

What I am finding out is that most all of us struggle as we go on the journey we take. Up's and downs, in health and sick as a dog, happy and pissed off, content or frustrated beyond belief- all of it is part of this trip we take. There can't be one without the other. Why, I ask in my fairytale frame of mind? Because (drum roll please) it's not!! Well, how about that. How long did it take me to figure that out that life ain't a freakin' fairytale? Umm, let's see...going on 20+ years now. Hmm, not so bad on the learning curve there, tessa. :rolleyes:

In speaking with my friends here (and I do hope I'm not overstepping in saying that), I find that we all go through times where we wonder if it's going to work out and be okay, if we'll get to experience what we desire, ever or again. It's as if I believed that vanilla life and D/s life were complete and separate entities. Ok, not "as if". I did believe that the two were in and of themselves. I know a few of you reading this are thinking, "well, duh!" (Just consider the source. :o )

Ill children, arguments, trips to the grocery store, vacations, dinner, financial trouble, finding time to read a good book, hell, finding time to do anything really, are all a part of whatever we do in life. All that stuff is just how it is, what has to be done. The part that has to be incorporated is the getting tied up or flogging the sass out of someone or even just a simple fuck that includes a "who's your Daddy?" Yeah, yeah, I hear the "well duh!" again. Again I say, consider the source. Just don't say it so loudly. I'm the sensitive type.

:D That was funny. But I digress.

What matters is the trying. If I stop trying just because it's a little too frustrating or a little too complicated; if I get pissy 'cause life is just too busy for a two-week marathon of D/s action and I shut down, well, I get what I put into it. And that would be nothing. Nada. Zilcho. A big ol' zero. I can't blame anyone for that except myself. There is no withdrawal without a deposit. (double entendre alert right there :hubba:). A relationship can't survive on a negative balance. And actually, finding the balance is what it's really all about.

~takes off my glamorously pretty Subbie-rella gown and dons my soccer-mom clothes...puts the glass...erm, slipper, yeah, slippers away and finds the flip-flops~

Life is about real joys, real heartaches, real everything. And you know, the fantasy fits right in there if you make a place for it.

I am all about finding my place.

~hugs to all~
tessa :wave:

[tessa]

What is a man supposed to do with a bunch of tied up subs?
Why is it that I have the image of Johnny Carson in my head?



Ask Tessa...
Oh, please don't. I'll get it wrong or something worse. Especially if it's multiple choice. :o

:wave:

[Rhabbi]

tessa,

I really need to spend more time here with you as you are cleary almost as insightful as Mishka.

[Dorkalicious]

I like that IM Tessa :)

[gagged_Louise]

Very warm and wise post, this is the lady I adore so much and whom I count as a close friend.
"There is really no staying in one spot treading water with your feet in life, either you're moving forward and growing or you're trudging backwards" - that's how one who had worked his way out of depression put it, I think it holds good for most of us even if it's a hard insight.