Conversation Between love_m and Valshar

She's beaten, sits back in the corner being quiet, as she usually does.

I appreciate your taking the time to answer my question, however, I was simply curious to know how you define love vs. giving me someone else's clinical definition of love.

"love is getting your needs met and two people who can meet each other's needs and want the same relationship are able to have a happy marriage / long-term relationship."

Based on the definite that you have given, you lead me to believe that a key element of love is that the relationship must have longevity.

Longevity being expressed in marriage or a long term relationship.

I knew Sunshine for a little over a year before she died- what that enough time to qualify my feelings for her as love or was a longer period of time needed?

I need to let you know that I did not notice your blog until about one hour ago. I apologize for the claim that I had read all related posts and feel sorry for the previous message. ..... Haha, I am a Sadist killer. lol

Valshar, this discussion can / should not go further, as all I know about you is the information on both of your profiles and from the two links. Take care

Why do I have a feeling that I am kind of trapped? Yesterday I slept for about 12 hours and through out the time was your messages, not you, but fragments of your messages which I was fighting with. Is this something called "mind game" that I am now gradually getting in and may not be able to get out of? You have dragged my attention to a stranger / pass-by. I didn't expect to visit your page after sending the first visitor message. Yet, there was something in each of your visits which stimulated me and kept me coming back. Well, to answer your question, love is getting your needs met and two people who can meet each other's needs and want the same relationship are able to have a happy marriage / long-term relationship. My point view about love is from a couple in Los Angeles, who both gained qualifications in counselling and relationships years ago. It is nothing, but love that has connected the two together for a life long time. As for the evidence required, it is in your message. ... It's easy to beat your stand but I don't really want to beat a Sadist. ^_^ Hope I am kind enough this time.

"If what happened between you and her was love, she would at least have stayed in contact with you after withdrawing from the cyber-world." What do you mean? Perhaps you have misunderstood. I was in touch with her daily by email and telephone to the end. Since you presume to know what love is and therefore can discern what is self delusion and what is reality, please tell me what you believe love is? I have answered your questions. I would ask that you respond in kind and answer mine. It is easy to dismiss another person's opinion, but you have failed to give any evidence to why I am misguided or deluded.

Your argument is meaningless, because the premise is wrong. However, your indulgence makes me hesitate to continue exposing you to reality; I am afraid that without the illusion you are not able to live. ....... If what happened between you and her was love, she would at least have stayed in contact with you after withdrawing from the cyber-world. On the other hand, without your wife and daughter being with you, I suspect that you could have been able to enjoy the time spending with her. *Sighs* You don't really understand what love is. ,,,,, This is as far as I can go to discuss this issue with you via visitor messages.

She is nowhere now....she is dead. But because she is dead, does it mean that I don't love her. Does your love for someone stop when they are no longer physically around you?

As you said love is an emotion that binds people together; where is she now? Love is a relationship between two people, is an interaction, is mutual, not one side hot. ,,,,, It's not my business at all that you would like to live with your so called passed lover forever; enjoy it !

It is love because, in the end, I would have given anything for her to live. Even if it meant that I would never be able to see her again and would endure a life time of heart ache because of it. It is love simply because of the willingness to give of yourself for the betterment of the other person with no expectation of getting something in return....other than the satisfaction of knowing you are helping them. Love is altruism. The willingness to endure discomfort for no logical return or benefit to yourself, simply because you want to help the other person. Love is the ache in my heart, my chest when the person is not with me. It is the smile on my face and the elation that I feel to uplift my soul when I see that person or hear there voice each day. Love is marked by the tears that I shed for their passing and the grief that I feel, knowing that I will never hear her laugh again. Love is an emotion....a strong one that can hurt me as much as it can make me swoon with happiness. Love is a word that is wholly inadequate to express a swirl of emotions. There are many forms of love...the love of family, of a friend, and of a lover....each radically different, but still a strong emotion that binds people together and causes them to give of themselves freely to help the other in a selfless manner. At the end of the day, if I tell you that I love her and my actions and words are consistent with what I have declared what does it matter if someone else doubts me?