Conversation Between H Dean and JimmyJump

Hye, you ugly, long haired, dope smoking no good bugger, send me your e-mail address. Hdean_667 (at) yahoo.com - I'm gonna send you something to read. You just can't forward it 'cause I'm trying to make money. Only you and one other person are gonna get this.

By the way, nice review, ya pecker!

Thanks for that review. I would have figured you would have at least commented on the bit of irony towards the end with the picture of the girl as a picture. Come on, that was classic horror stuff!

I knew a girl who could shake a mean leg. She even let me shake it once...I dropped it and broke it and she had to use crutches to get to the car. I never shook her leg again.

She could shake a mean stump, too. She was Japanese. Her name was Irene.

Ah, yes. Another victim of that infectuous Flemish charm. The more proof I never could have been Dutch. You wouldn't have liked me.
A tad late though, to put flowers in my hair and depart for San Francisco. Besides, you're already taken, but I still could come and dance at yer wedding, providing there's enough space, as I shake a mean leg. Especially the right one.

I do tend to poke those I like. For some odd reason I find myself liking you. Not in that way, you perv. Well, maybe....<flutters eyes>

Yeah, I can't pull that off, can I?

Oh no - I'm not one of those people with clogs who lives in a windmill. Those are the Dutch. I'm from Belgium. We kicked the Dutch and their tulips and windmills a couple of 100 miles more to the North, back in 1830.
We share the same dictionaries, yes, but that's about it.
Calling a Flemish Belgian a Dutchman, is like saying to the Scottish or Irish, they're English. It causes people to give other people single-fingered salutes.
Not me. I know you were poking fun. Haha.

Oh no - you're one of those people with clogs who lives in windmills!

I tend to think that reviews and story writing should be completley different. It galls me when authors complain at reviewers who have errors in the written review. I've seen numerous authors justify their mistakes by pointing out that a reviewer used the wrong "there" in their review. Conversely, I don't think that a written review should be considered when reviewing an author's stories. Each story should be judged exclusively on it's own merit. Of course, I don't even follow my own guidlines exactly as I should - several of my favorite authors get reviews based, in part, on my expectations of their writings. Ideals and reality do get in my way and turn me into something of a hypocrite. Damnitalltohell!

At any rate, I shall let you alone for the time being and, assuming your salute is not single fingered, I shall return your salute.

Oh, it isn't a peanut, it's a cashew.

Well, hell, I can't comment in the review section right now so I thought I would hammer away here. So, here goes...

You are correct that the story was not up to my normal sterling quality and it was something created by a close friend of mine. I tried to clean it up and adjust it a tad. Frankly, I did just that. Had you seen the original you would know that. Just the same, I agree with you that it was not what one might expect from one with such a considerable ego and reputation as I.

And now, time for something completely different...
My reviews are spot on and should in no way be indicative of my own writing prowess. Many reviewers are spot on but can't write a wit. This you know, I am sure. Thus, it is unfair of you to comment on my writing using my own reviews as fodder.

As you noted in your review, I did not claim the story as my own. Thus it is further unfair of you to complain about my writing as if that story were typical of my writing. Frankly, if you want to find a story of mine to complain about you should read "A Slave Story", "Lindy's Tale" or "A Letter to Ryan". I should have been ridden out of town on a rail for those poorly written stories.

Now, before I forget, thank you for offering up the review you offered. Frankly, I think your "8" was a bit generous as the story was, as you mentioned, a mere synopsis that contained many grammatical and spelling gaffes.

Finally, the review made me chuckle as did your entire demeanor - in a good way.