satisfied

Wow. I think I see a pattern in this title. The thing is that I could write endlessly about the new experiences that I have been having since I met Master. He has even had me start a list, which we both enjoy looking back at and going...Damn! He is really corrupting me! (or was that just my thought? *shrugs* hmm..oh well. moving on.)

After practically falling to my knees at Master's feet shortly after we met. (a new feeling for me) I have been bombarded with so many new feelings that I have a hard time organizing them all and fitting them into these nice neat little compartments inside me. (for those of you who don't know me in RL. I am probably borderline OCD with the way i organize things.) Finally I gave up trying to straighten out these feelings and decided to just let them be what they are. I am no longer overthinking anything I feel where Master is concerned. As I am positive that none of my feelings for him make any kind of sense. They just are what they are. Which is overwhelming and confusing at best.

So....one of the new things I have discovered about myself that I never would have thought possible is that I like being hurt. Not just hurt for the sake of being hurt, but hurt while I am really turned on. For whatever reason (that I still don't understand) when I feel pain while Master is fucking me I get sooooo wet and turned on to the point that I have a hard time focusing on anything aside from what he is making me feel. Things that I never liked before I LOVE with him. I have never liked having my nipples played with. But when Master uses them to hurt me......to extract a specific reaction out of me......I get soooo hot! It has even gotten to the point where I have begged him to hurt me while he's fucking me. I know! I know! I'm a fucking freak! I can't help it. I love it!

I love the bruises that I have the next day. I love the way that I hurt when he slams into me really hard and I am walking funny the next day. I love when he chokes me while he's fucking me, looks me in the eyes and growls "I own you." It makes me cum so hard. I love when I start fighting him and he grabs me by the hair, jerks my head back and growls a warning that if I keep fighting him he is still going to get what he wants and I am not going to like it. The only problem with that warning is that I do like it! I like it so much that I fight him just to get that reaction.

I love the way that he holds me close and caresses my face and tells me what a good girl I am. I love when he runs his fingers through my hair while i'm laying on his chest. I love the way he looks at me like he's completely amazed that he actually owns me. I love knowing that I have the ability to make him happy. They way he tells me that me loves me over and over. The way he looks at me when I bring him his coffee and kneel beside him waiting for him to take it. More than anything I love the look that is in his eyes when I am kneeling at his feet and we are just staring at eachother and not talking. The look that says better then any words ever could just how much he cherishes me. I can see a tenderness there that surprises me sometimes. It is at these times that his love shows in his eyes and I know that I am the luckiest slave in the world to have a Master like him. No one could ever replace him. No one could ever be for me what he is. My surrender is for him, and him alone.