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I have been looking around on various sites at personals and info on munches.
I keep running into two kinds of people I find some people posting things like "kneel down and worship me sort of attitude" or a more level headed introduction of themselves. So whats with this difference between some Doms expecting immediate worship and submission and others seeing you as equal until a scene starts, or you start a relationship with?
The difference?
Maturity and experience :P
The former is a tard, the latter is realistic.
I would also question if the first example is a real Dom or someone who just wanted a quick sexual thrill. (In other words a potential wannabe!)
The second, at least to me, is more real since he is willing to invest time in getting to know the sub. Still be careful though... that doesn't gtd. that they aren't a poser as well... just one with experience!
I find that a lot of wannabe,s will ask u right from the get go what u look like and yr measurements ,yr age . These kind I say bye to real quik
Real Doms know it takes time to develop trust and they know that even though you maybe submissive your not their submissive atleast not yet
There is the truth.Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Russell
The first one thinks that just because you happen to be a submissive you will automatically submit to anybody right off the bat.
The latter one knows it takes time to get anybody to submit, it takes trust and it takes work.
I think you really know the answer but those who have posted all have good points. I would state that I am in no way well qualified to comment but.. (that means Im going to anyway LOL)... It would be my opinion that there is room for all, you just have to react quickly to politley rebuff those who arn't to your taste and put them on ignore if you need to.Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitsub
Don't let those less sophisticated individuals spoil it for you. There are those who are worth the time and effort I think. But as I say, I don't favour the more direct approach some do. Usually they will be younger and less experianced though not always.
I guess to answer the question the difference is in the eye of the beholder.
Rad Dragon
well said Red DragonQuote:
Originally Posted by Red Dragon
Just some guy with no respect for anyone who wants a quickie.Quote:
kneel down and worship me sort of attitude
Probably more likely to be worth a try.Quote:
seeing you as equal until a scene starts, or you start a relationship with?
Is it just me, or does it seem odd that some guys just can't get a girl without advertising, or replying to every ad that comes along- while others have to beat them off with a stick??
many, and online is heavy populated with these, are only in it for the kink and find willing submissives who can be easily talked into doing things to offer the supposed 'Dom' a cheap thrill or kick without care or regard to the emotional damage they may be causing that submissive
far rarer, is the sincere Dominant who knows and understands well that this is just as much or more of a mental journey into the subs mind and that the sex, although wickedly delicious, is only one side of their submission - to these Dominants, the responsibility is taken quite seriously and they have no desire to damage anyone in their care and therefore would never ask or try to coerce a sub before they were truly ready to be taken there.
They are rare. But when you find one...hang on. You're in for the ride of your life! :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mastersgem
the ones who insist you should kneel are usually just jerks who dont seem to know how to talk to anyone full stop.
but i guess sometimes it may be if they are new to the scene they think they have to live up to what often appears to be the 'norm' for Dom/mes on the net,depending on which sites you come across lol
just as some submissives to begin with are not quite sure whether they should refer to every Dom/me as Master Mistress etc
if you politely put them straight the first time they generally will react in one of two ways, either they apologise and admit its all new and they're unsure,or you get the...you're not a 'true sub' and/or abusive ones ...you can soon sort the wheat from the chaff
That is so true! I consider myself so blessed. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by jeanne
Quote:
Originally Posted by moonlitsub
Why would it end when the scene starts?
There's a difference between hierarchy and worth.
Both dom and sub are of equal worth. Always.
And even if I ask or tell you to kneel and worship me... that's about hierarchy... roles we've agreed upon.
As for those who ask for it immediately... some know how to ask... some don't understand what they are really asking for. Hopefully, you can see that within them.
*applauds heartily*Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozme52
well said Ozme! many don't understand that difference about heirarchy and the difference of being equals vs being on different levels of the heirarchy
gem,
xo
In my world a Dom is never 'better than' or more important that a sub -just different.
Those that are real honest to badness Doms and subs do. Even if they don't quite understand it in those terms. I make damn sure that mine know that we are not equals, long discussion on that but not the right place for it, but that one without the other is nothing.Quote:
Originally Posted by mastersgem
I know that I value my slave more then I do myself and treat her like that.
i agree with gem about the journey through the mind being the most intense part of the Dom/sub relationship. it is the psychology of the lifestyle that draws me to it, and an experienced Dom/me knows that the mind is the largest sex organ of the body.
i also agree that there is a definite difference between being equals and a person's place in the heirarchy. i CHOOSE to put myself lower in the heirarchy, not because i think i'm less worthy, but because it makes me feel good to be there.
I'd say a mix of experience and maturity; but with more emphasis on maturity.
People can be very experienced in something, but I think that it always takes that initial maturity to decide that you actually need experience and can't just do something straight away