is the feeling of power more intense...

Well first let me start off by saying i have heard from most Dom/mes that You all do not like "door-mat" subs/slaves well here is my question.....

Is the feeling of power/pride/domination/(insert feeling here) much more strong when You see Your sub with everyone else and s/he is so strong and in control but then with You s/he submits to You in which ever way You prefer? Or does it not matter how exact opposite Your sub is in everyday life?

i got the idea for this thread when reading the "What is running through Your mind" thread so thanks to those who created and posted there.. hehe

Well for me I like being able to see my tommiecat be able to be in control of her life. Not letting people push her around and making decisions for her and the such.

For me her submission to me is based on the love that we have for each other. It's always going to be based on that. She submits to be because she loves me.

Her and I are always working on her self image and how she carries herself as a human being. How she lets others affect her and the such. Her submission to me is in a large part is a tool for me to be able to show her that she is a very strong individual and that she never has to do anything that she doesn't.

I am very proud to know that my tommiecat is a very strong individual and that she is able to submit to me and yet still remain in control of her life. That in it self makes me teary eyed because I know that my kittehns life hasn't been the best and that her self confidence and the like is an area that she has been wanting to improve on. In the time that she has been with me she HAS improved. That makes me very happy.

Not sure if that answers your question or not but when I see my tommiecat being able to be her own person in HER life I am very happy. She submits to me but she is still in control of her life.

*smiles*

Being a doormat is not about being timid in everyday life, it's more along the lines of a submissive who gives up thier submission all too freely. They ignore thier limits, they only exist to please thier Dominant, never taking responsibility for thier own actions, choices or happiness.
Basically a doormat submissive is a robot submissive.

A submissive should know within thier relationship with thier Dominant when to be submissive and when to be a companion.

I am an extremely shy person, prone to avoiding most social interactions with others. I don't like to stand out in a crowd, but prefer to blend in and stay quiet. I still have a job, and other interests which I enjoy.
That isn't saying I can't have a relationship with another person and be submissive to them.
I make the choices to be with another Dom, I set my limits and do what makes me happiest. I don't do what another tells me to do, because I am submissive.

well i didnt mean to imply that if a sub is not a doormat that they are overly controlling of their life.... i am talking about the pure act of dominating a sub. So basically i dont think about the relationship aspect.

like i am a slave thru and thru but in everyday life i am a TOTAL control freak (admittedly not as badly as i was before my Lord) but i can seem like a total bitch sometimes because i am so over bearing at times.... many people get the impression that i am almost arrogant about my abilities because admittedly i do think highly of my intellegence and the few actual abilities that i do... which is one of the reasons i am a slave... i wanna be able to trust someone to take that control from me that is able to... (my Lord is definately able to and put me in my place:) )

Now what if there is a natural sub/slave is much more relaxed has basic control of their lives in the typical manner but does not nessicarily exude the traits of dominance as much as someone like me does... i admittedly over do it but not the extent i used too at all

Now if You were to dominate both of these two different, yet not the only types, sub/slaves consentually in turn..... which would You think would give You more of that "feeling" whatever it may be that You get when you dominate a sub.... or would it not make a difference...

i ask this because in stories i read on here there is a common theme of the love of dominating someone that is so dominant in everday life

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cadence

Being a doormat is not about being timid in everyday life, it's more along the lines of a submissive who gives up thier submission all too freely. They ignore thier limits, they only exist to please thier Dominant, never taking responsibility for thier own actions, choices or happiness.
Basically a doormat submissive is a robot submissive.

A submissive should know within thier relationship with thier Dominant when to be submissive and when to be a companion.

I am an extremely shy person, prone to avoiding most social interactions with others. I don't like to stand out in a crowd, but prefer to blend in and stay quiet. I still have a job, and other interests which I enjoy.
That isn't saying I can't have a relationship with another person and be submissive to them.
I make the choices to be with another Dom, I set my limits and do what makes me happiest. I don't do what another tells me to do, because I am submissive.

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I suppose you were a little off topic, cadence, but I found this a lovely and insightful response and one I'll remember. Thanks for sharing x x

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Submit2Dom{W_W}

well i didnt mean to imply that if a sub is not a doormat that they are overly controlling of their life.... i am talking about the pure act of dominating a sub. So basically i dont think about the relationship aspect.

like i am a slave thru and thru but in everyday life i am a TOTAL control freak (admittedly not as badly as i was before my Lord) but i can seem like a total bitch sometimes because i am so over bearing at times.... many people get the impression that i am almost arrogant about my abilities because admittedly i do think highly of my intellegence and the few actual abilities that i do... which is one of the reasons i am a slave... i wanna be able to trust someone to take that control from me that is able to... (my Lord is definately able to and put me in my place:) )

Now what if there is a natural sub/slave is much more relaxed has basic control of their lives in the typical manner but does not nessicarily exude the traits of dominance as much as someone like me does... i admittedly over do it but not the extent i used too at all

Now if You were to dominate both of these two different, yet not the only types, sub/slaves consentually in turn..... which would You think would give You more of that "feeling" whatever it may be that You get when you dominate a sub.... or would it not make a difference...

i ask this because in stories i read on here there is a common theme of the love of dominating someone that is so dominant in everday life

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pearlgem

I suppose you were a little off topic, cadence, but I found this a lovely and insightful response and one I'll remember. Thanks for sharing x x

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oopsies, sorry about that, I guess that will teach me to read and not skim over posts. :(

PS does the fact that I can be Dominated even though I have agressive, excessive road rage count :)

i didnt mean to make any one feel bad i like all responses they are all good i just needed to specify more... your answer was on topic before i specified lol my bad

I have been told by hubby as well as two other Doms I consider able and trustworthy that a doormat would be a totat bore to them.

They like the feeling of accomplishment they gain if a strong personality submits to them - it is something special, done for them personally.

A sub who is so needy she will submit to any old willing someone makes the Dom feel exchangeable - not special.

I very whole heartedly agree with Arria on this matter.

I've met a door mat once- and *yawn* it sucks. too easy. like domming a blow up doll.

The short answer: Yes.

The long(er) answer: Yes, because the submissive's personal power becomes the dominant's by proxy. So if the submissive has no personal power, the submissive can only pass on a minimal amount. It isn't all how "opposite" the submissive is, as not all power is derived from personality, though it is certainly a major component.

alright so maybe I'm not exactly answering the question .....but here's my insight...
I often say I don't want a doormat NO one would want a robot
The reasons I say it may all be just personal reasons. I love good debates ...I LOVE hearing other people's viewpoint. If I had someone constantly agreeing to everything I say and want them to do there's absolutely NO challenge in that. The reason I do actually enjoy being a Dominant is getting people to do things they wouldn't normally ever think of doing but will do it for ME because it pleases me. That simple reason alone. It's the same with a submissive who is absolutely submissive with EVERYONE and will do anything and everyhing he/she is ordered to do. If they followed my orders like they do everyone else ....It certainly wouldn't make me feel special in any way. Nor would be any kind of (sorry for using this word ...I couldn't come up with anything else that might simplify it) Victory. There is no gratification nor satisfaction in a doormat.

To be a sub has to fun and being a door mat aint no fun

lol some doms HAVE to get off from not having a doormat.. u know i am bratty and stubborn as all hell and a dom loved and cared for me... also punished me alot hehe.. oh fyi think i may have found a new one *winks*

Well for me a doormat would bore me to fucking tear have you ever seen the movie coming to america? the princess for eddy murphy? he keeps asking her questions about what she likes? all she says is whatever you like your highness......well a sub that is that way would do nothing for me sounds odd coming from me...but one that just lets me do whatever i wanted would last maybe a week lol i want to see her struggle to submit to me i want her to share with me her darkest needs her darkest fantasies and i will share mine as well. i am a sadist but i do have fobels i want them to want every bit of delicous pain i can dole out to them if they want it and i want to do it its all good in my book....but yes a strong will and a mind of her own, knows what she wants when to push me so i can push her back hehe

My sub is a beautiful and enlightened woman. The joy I get from owning her is (in part) because of her streingth, not in spite of it. She is my sub and I can give her commands whenever I choose; however, when I am not giving her instructions, I don't care how she speaks to me or acts, submissive or no. She is herself--that's why I love her.

I actualy spoke to a woman online a few months ago who was trained as a slave (her Master had died). She had no opinions, any response that she gave me had to be dragged out of her kicking and screaming and it was always as short as possible. I spoke with her three times and havent since (we never became friends or any such thing so I dont particularly feel bad).

We are Dominants....we Dominate things....Domination is "control or power over another person, or the exercise of such control and power" If a submissive was a doormat no opinions...then we dont Dominate, we arent who we are at a most intimate level.

Its not the snapping to obey that makes us happy, its the fact knowing that WE got that obedience from someone else the idea that we hold control and perhaps, in some way, we view it as love from our sub.

For me the answer is YES, even how strong his personality in real life facing friends, colleagues being in control of his daily life, and the only person he/she bows down and submit is you. You feel more in control of this person breaking his control on his life, his desire to please what ever you wish to make you happy.