Becoming scarlet

So, I have very feisty personality. I'm very strong willed and tend to show high amounts of independence in everything. This adds a struggle of stepping into the slave role at the drop of a dime.

My Master has came up with the idea that the day before I step into scarlet's shoes for a play session, I am to mentally take on my slave role. Our conversations include "Yes, Master" and my actions are to be of a well mannered slave.

I started at 8:00 this morning as a slave. And I know that it will take me all day to fully adapt to being in that role. I've already been called a brat this morning!

I know that he throws me into scarlet mode the day before a session to ensure that during the session I have worked out all my rebellion. I just get so damn frustrated. I've heard so many people say that their submission comes naturally. I know I'm a sub. I know this. When I'm in that role I perform very well and tend to not rebel at all. Ugh!

I wish it didn't take me so long to become scarlet. I only want to make him proud of me and my personalities are clashing something fierce.

I am kind of just venting here... I had to kind of just work through that thought process.

VEEEERRRY Interesting!

You need a signal or activity that has trained into you the equivalent of a Pavlovian response, one that just throws you into your submission.

I use positions, had my girl practice them in conjunction with selected mental images. Having her take one, this very morning in fact, evoked an immediate response in her.

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

You need a signal or activity that has trained into you the equivalent of a Pavlovian response, one that just throws you into your submission.

I use positions, had my girl practice them in conjunction with selected mental images. Having her take one, this very morning in fact, evoked an immediate response in her.

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Hm... so what and how? Lol how long did it take to train her to respond like that? It literally will take me all day to fully submit. This has always been a struggle of mine. Once I submit %100, I'm fine... no rebellion or bratty actions. It's like I notice right away when I'm there %100... like freedom almost. Anyway, I am really frustrated with it. I would think that being as I acknowledge the problem, I'd be able to fix it easier.

*sighs*

I can sympathise wholeheartedly. For me, it can be hard to quiet the brat within, particularly because my Sir actually likes a bit of sass. But, recently i've experienced a bit of the Pavlovian response, as Ozme put it, and it's a relief to succumb to it. But it can largely depend on what is going on in my life...or what my Sir and i are exploring at the time. Ultimately, the intention is always there, i'm just my own worst critic and can understand your frustration. Although, imho, any Dom/Master worth his salt likes a challenge..hehe. All the best working through it and enjoy your play session!

What is a Pavlovian response?

It comes from the experiment of Pavlov's dog. It's kinda a highly popular phrase from internet doms who like to use this example (which was used on a dog) to explain how they will train their subbies to react/cum/submit on command. If you happen to lack critical thinking (much like a dog) it may work for you.

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

You need a signal or activity that has trained into you the equivalent of a Pavlovian response, one that just throws you into your submission.

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Maybe it could help to associate a piece of clothing or an item of jewellery, or even a certain perfume (or all of these together!) with being scarlet. Every time you want to become the slave, wear a certain item and use it to associate with who you are becoming. Sometimes visual things as simple as these help get us into the mood a lot quicker, although of course the mental side of it is an issue that you'll need to try and work with too. And well, they say practice makes perfect :-) They also say nobody's perfect so don't worry about that either haha!

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Originally Posted by VaAugusta

It comes from the experiment of Pavlov's dog. It's kinda a highly popular phrase from internet doms who like to use this example (which was used on a dog) to explain how they will train their subbies to react/cum/submit on command. If you happen to lack critical thinking (much like a dog) it may work for you.

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And here I always thought it was the uncontrollable urge that scientists get to ring a bell when they see a dog salivate!

And to be clear, it's not about "training" per se and certainly not indicative of a lack of critical thinking. RME. Tell me you don't "react" to the smells emanating from a Cinnabon stand. Critical thinking allows you to walk past, but tell me you don't inhale a bit more deeply and at least consider possibly indulging yourself... and they do indeed strategically place fans or vents to make sure their bakery odors spread throughout the immediate area.

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Originally Posted by scarlet_85

What is a Pavlovian response?

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Ivan Pavlov and some associates ran an experiment where they rang a bell everytime they fed a dog. After a while, they just rang the bell and the dog salivated in anticipation of being fed. A conditioned response.

I use position practice to achieve a submissive response. It's more than just "assuming the position". It requires that you practice the position, and while practicing, think about the things that you love about submitting to your dominant. The things you love when you become 100% scarlet. Pretty soon, just taking that position will put you into that mindset.

I use 5 positions all together. One for contemplation. One for displaying yourself. One for a different type of display that also abets punishment or sex (or both). A fourth for begging when you have a request, and lastly a position for exercising your body, especially your legs and pelvis, so that you are at your very best when you service your dominant.

Practice, especially the first three, and soon just assuming each position, will propel you along the path you take to become scarlet.

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Originally Posted by ar1

Maybe it could help to associate a piece of clothing or an item of jewellery, or even a certain perfume (or all of these together!) with being scarlet. Every time you want to become the slave, wear a certain item and use it to associate with who you are becoming. Sometimes visual things as simple as these help get us into the mood a lot quicker, although of course the mental side of it is an issue that you'll need to try and work with too. And well, they say practice makes perfect :-) They also say nobody's perfect so don't worry about that either haha!

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Yes. Aroma and odor are strong factors when it comes to conditioning. If your dominant wears a particular aftershave, wear his T-shirt or use his pillow, while you become scarlet, and see if that helps.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ar1

Maybe it could help to associate a piece of clothing or an item of jewellery, or even a certain perfume (or all of these together!) with being scarlet. Every time you want to become the slave, wear a certain item and use it to associate with who you are becoming. Sometimes visual things as simple as these help get us into the mood a lot quicker, although of course the mental side of it is an issue that you'll need to try and work with too. And well, they say practice makes perfect :-) They also say nobody's perfect so don't worry about that either haha!

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I suppose I already do this. All jewelry is removed... earrings, necklace, bracelets. Also, there is a specific lotion I use prior to a session. Other things that are always done is I shave, use a pummice stone and parafin wax on my feet, and I always paint my toe nails. The day prior to a scene I actually prepare a lot. I want to always be at my best for Him. It never fails though, that once He locks my collar on, all rebellion is gone. That is was the number one thing is that makes me scarlet. So, maybe in time just doing the little things will automatically throw me into scarlet mode. I suppose you can call it my preparation process.

In the beginning, he was giving me tasks to accomplish through the week and now that I think about it, that actually always kept me partially in the slave mindset. I think maybe its time to restart that process.

I really feel that I'm doing better with all of it now than I was a couple months ago. I tend to lose patience and grow frustrated.

Oh! Our play sessions were fabulous :D We had a hard play session on Saturday and a softer session on Sunday. As always, we were both left smiling.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ozme52

Yes. Aroma and odor are strong factors when it comes to conditioning. If your dominant wears a particular aftershave, wear his T-shirt or use his pillow, while you become scarlet, and see if that helps.

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Call me a dork... lol... but when time is spent with him, my hoodie or whatever I'm wearing always smells like him. I have been known to "huff my hoodie" from time to time. I figure its better than huffing spray paint :P

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Originally Posted by ~ willow ~

I can sympathise wholeheartedly. For me, it can be hard to quiet the brat within, particularly because my Sir actually likes a bit of sass. But, recently i've experienced a bit of the Pavlovian response, as Ozme put it, and it's a relief to succumb to it. But it can largely depend on what is going on in my life...or what my Sir and i are exploring at the time. Ultimately, the intention is always there, i'm just my own worst critic and can understand your frustration. Although, imho, any Dom/Master worth his salt likes a challenge..hehe. All the best working through it and enjoy your play session!

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Just wanted to add that I can agree with real life stuff affected our roles. There was about 2 weeks of time where neither one of us even attempted BDSM. Personal struggles through us in a mindset where we just needed super supportive love. We refer to it as being "emo". Once we got through that, the D/s side of things started to slowly trickle back in. Ah... the beauty of life lol