Question: To Submissive?

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11-05-2006
vampyres{ID}

Question: To Submissive?

I am new here, as I said in my hello was in 2 year tpe relationship, my master ended it because and I quote I was a poor slave because I was to submissive, (Even though it was years ago this still bothers me) Now that my husband is willing to try it I still have this nagging doubt is it possible to be to submissive to keep it interesting? (my online master said I was a good slave but that was online and this is real life)

Sorry mods I know now after fully looking at the boards I put this in the wrong place, looked for a delete but I can't find it.
11-05-2006
Dragon's muse

Every Master is different. (don't tell them this, but they are just people, too). What one calls too submissive may be just right for another or not quite enough for yet another. When he said you are too submissive, he was really saying you were "too submissive for him". It just wasn't a good fit.
11-05-2006
TomOfSweden

How is it possible to be too submissive :) Impossible to fathom.

It sounds more like that guy wasn't all that dominant to start with? There's plenty of guys who are sadists, and somehow think they need to act like dominants because it fits the trapings. People are different and in the BDSM scene all this labeling has really gotten a bit out of control.

My advice is to go slow. I'm sure you'll notice what works and what doesn't for both of you. If you have a great need to be very submissive and your current relationship won't allow you to live out that part of you. Then is the relationship worth keeping alive? Life is short.
11-05-2006
vampyres{ID}

Quote:

Originally Posted by TomOfSweden

How is it possible to be too submissive :) Impossible to fathom.

It sounds more like that guy wasn't all that dominant to start with? There's plenty of guys who are sadists, and somehow think they need to act like dominants because it fits the trapings. People are different and in the BDSM scene all this labeling has really gotten a bit out of control.

My advice is to go slow. I'm sure you'll notice what works and what doesn't for both of you. If you have a great need to be very submissive and your current relationship won't allow you to live out that part of you. Then is the relationship worth keeping alive? Life is short.

To me it is worth it to keep the relationship I couldn't see sacraficing a relationship with a man I love more then my own life and respect dearly for my own selfish urges.
11-05-2006
ma_petite

You just need to do what feels right to you. Simple as that. You two will find what works and what doesn't. :)
11-05-2006
Ozme52

muse hits the proverbial sub on the tail, (to paraphrase)

Too submissive for one dom may well be not enough for the next. So just follow your new master's lead. And don't be afraid to ask how you're doing? Ask him "Is master happy with his ________" (fill in your own sub-word.)

Me? I personally hate brats and love subs. I don't want a "broken spirit" mind you. I like spirit. I like it applied in spirited service to my desires. So, no, you can't be too submissive... you just need to know what your master expects and wants from you.
11-06-2006
TomOfSweden

Quote:

Originally Posted by vampyres

To me it is worth it to keep the relationship I couldn't see sacraficing a relationship with a man I love more then my own life and respect dearly for my own selfish urges.

I thought selfish urges is what it's all about. Just kidding. As always giving advice from across the Internet is always hard when we don't have the big picture.
11-06-2006
vampyres{ID}

Thanks for all the helpfull advice, this person made me feel like I stood no chance of ever making a master happy because in his oppinion I wasn't fit for this lifestyle because I didn't object enough, to be entirely honest there wasn't much he said that I really found worth objecting to, I either liked it or it really didn't bother me.
11-06-2006
vampyres{ID}

Quote:

Originally Posted by TomOfSweden

I thought selfish urges is what it's all about. Just kidding. As always giving advice from across the Internet is always hard when we don't have the big picture.

Hehe no worries, Internet is hard to get an understanding from. This relationship has lasted 11 years, some years including stuff that statistics were stacked against it (or us for that matter) surviving. I have to much of my soul invested in this relationship, I can not see anything making me walk away from it. And I do have to give my husband credit, he is trying despite cringing and at sometimes feeling like a total bastard even doing the things I like.
11-30-2006
babygirlblue

I guess I can relate to your worry and question. My Dom says I'm a "needy sub." He brought this up when he was explaining "protocols" between Doms and subs as well as what type of Sub our friend is. She's a "provoking sub." He explained the difference and it bothers me a little. I'm gonna talk with him about it when he get home later. I don't think it is possible to be too submissive. I think it depends on what the Dom/Master expects from you. It can take a very long while to learn that and you both need patience for it. I mean I found out this past weekend that my Dom knows me so much better than I know myself. We've been together 2 years or will be on Dec 11th. [squee]

I pretty much agree with everyone else on this one. There is no possibility there is an idea or fathom of "Too Submissive." Submission is a matter of opinion of the Sub/Slave or Dom/Master. Who ever said that is stupid and doesn't know how to communicate properly.