Techno Faye says techno: "Hey!"
Hi, I'm Faye. I have degrees in astronomy and computer science but just drift through life doing graphic art because everyone in the corporate world is either evil or (mainly) stupid, even at the nuclear engineering company which was my last job.
I have autism which means I don't understand why people get mad when all I do is be honest. I also don't understand why everybody else treats each other so mean and why they tell lies virtually continuously, like they can't control it. Also, I don't understand normal peoples' jokes and they never understand mine.
Actually, autism is a special kind of "retarded", where you're really smart in one or two things, smarter than almost anybody, but except for that you're an ordinary retarded person. What I'm smart at is language and complexity.
I designed the neutron monitor (and won an award for it), and did the interface for a gamma ray spectrometer, but when I talked about something shameful and embarrassing I did one weekend* that I thought was sexy and cool but was apparently "inappropriate", peoples' reaction freaked me out, so I just walked out and never went back.
I hope I never have to talk to another damn human face to face ever again. My mom and stepdad died (not at the same time). Yes it made me sad, especially my mom. Ultimately I inherited both the insurances, so I can just not fight everyone (like at a job), at least for lots of years. I don't spend hardly any money.
My monitor is next to my bed, and I lie in here naked ALL day and night, and just learn stuff on the internet and masturbate, mainly looking french and german girl-torture movies pretending it it's me in them, and remembering what was done to me in 2002. I also edit wikipedia a lot (username fayekane), but it turns out that lots of people there are fucked up too. They do article vandalism and stuff.
I like to talk on technical forums, but usually I get told to shut up or get thrown out for saying something wrong even when I'm not talking about sex but things like moving disk partitions and overclocking my nVidia 7800, but I eventually say something wrong anyway, like at majorgeeks, where I criticized the management.
I am HORRIBLY shy (at least I think that's how to describe it. I don't FEEL like I'm shy). I live by myself with little Mister Kitty, and that's all I want. Being around people, especially crowds, is very, very confusing and upsetting for me, even if I'm just standing there against the wall.
The idea that two people of different sexes could be naked in a room, alone, is amazing and fascinating and strange and frightening all at the same time. How could they look at each other? How could they talk? God, I can't even talk to the cashier at the store!
Yet paradoxically, I liked being (consensually) gang raped by strangers that weekend in 2002 because they WERE strangers, and I didn't have to say anything, and since I did whatever they told me to, there wasn't any possibility I could do anything wrong.
*Complete story is at: http://www.bdsmlibrary.com/stories/w...p?storyid=5213
It will be the only submission (so to speak) that I make here because I just wanted to tell what happened to me then because despite what all the people at work thought, I think what I did (or allowed to be done) was sexy and cool and wonderful and fun, and I guess I just wanted to hear other people say it.
I'm not going to write another one because who wants to write a whole long fiction story like for a magazine but then not get paid for it?
I did write a whole article for wikipedia though, and I am working on an article for Sky and Telescope.
Anyway, nice to meet you all.
=faye
