trust should be earned and given its a 2-way street
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trust should be earned and given its a 2-way street
In another thread "Discipline Exercises" I thought I had "coined a phrase", but was quickly corrected. I am certain that I did coin the following phrase: "Dog shit smells like dog shit".
Someday my grandchildren will say "Like Grand-dad always said--Dog shit smells like dog shit"! Yes, I am a redneck, and I would be proud for my grandchildren to quote me on this one! But, every time that I use the phrase I get confused looks from folks that are very similar to the looks that a dog will give you when he doesn't understand what you are saying to him--you know, when the dog's head tilts slightly left and then back to the right! So, I assume that you all are giving your computer monitors the same look right now, and I will explain.
When a dog shits in the floor, it stinks. You can spray air freshener, sprinkle potpourri, and Lysol, but the shit still stinks. In fact, the room then smells like roses, potpourri, Lysol and SHIT! Every dog shit that you have ever experienced has always had a terrible odor that just won't go away. So, why the hell would you expect the next nasty pile of dog shit that you step in would not smell the same. The only way to avoid the smell of dog shit is to avoid dog shit, DUH!!!
To clarify, you should take things as they are, and should not expect them to be any different than what they are. If you are dating an alcoholic, don't think that you can change that and miraculously make them a better person. If your family has always ostracized you, don't think that suddenly you will be accepted into the fold. If your boss has always been a dick, don't think that because you worked your ass off on a project you will suddenly be appreciated by him/her. And to drive my point home: If you have reason to not trust the person that you are involved in a relationship with--STOP THINKING THAT DOG SHIT WILL NOT SMELL LIKE DOGSHIT!
On the other hand, if you have no reason to mistrust the person, stop assuming that they are dog shit. However; if you mistrust without reason, you should look at yourself and consider why you mistrust them. Have you done something yourself that would lead you to believe that your partner must also be doing something wrong?
Either way, I must re-iterate my "original coined phrase", dog shit smells like dog shit. We're all here because we have various kinks, fetishes, and turn-ons. Maybe you like dog shit, who am I to judge? But if you don't like dog shit, do what I do and throw it in your neighbor's yard! :)
Any relationship used to either mask or to validate low self esteem needs to have the brakes put on it, and put on QUICKLY. It makes no difference if the self esteem is the cause for the love, or the cause for the hate; it's bad news for both parties involved.Quote:
Originally Posted by gustaf
Those who do not trust generally do not deserve trusting. People project themselves onto others. It's that simple.
hahaha. That is what my girl and her girlfriends say aswell. Not just about things I say but about cute children or a cute whatever..Must be a female expression. Sure sounds kinda cute though ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeblossoms
thank you though!
At first I was going to say no, absolutely not. But then I thought about it awhile, (couple of days) and now I say it really depends on where your relationship is. If someone you don't know says, "Hey, I'm a Dom/me, you're a sub, trust me," what do you do? You have no relationship with this person, know nothing about them, and just like that *snaps fingers* you're supposed to believe what they say and trust your safety to them? No. You get away from them as soon as you can.Quote:
Originally posted by lily27:
Is it enough to just say "trust me?"
On the other hand, your Dom/me of many years says, "Come here I would like you to try this." And you say, "I don't feel very comfortable doing that." What do you do if they say, "Look, I won't let anything happen to you, trust me." You will probably go along with it and try it.
The words, without a situation around them, are just words. In the context of a paticular situation they take on meaning. As we respond to these questions we all attach a situation to the question then answer it.
(This is a situation where it looks as if I was being paid for using the word "situation" as often as the situation lends itself, doesn't it? I'm not even sure I know what that last paragraph means. :o geesh )