Dating 'vanilla'

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Originally Posted by wonderworld

Its so nice to be nervous on dates again! Well... some of them... :)

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Amen!

Now that I've been on a couple of non-vanilla dates and become more involved in my local BDSM community, I've decided that I'm not interested in dating vanilla. At least not for right now. I have limited time for dating and don't want to waste that time on dates with people that I highly doubt are Dominant. And I'm most definitely not interested in "growing a Dom" out of a vanilla guy. Tried that and swore never again.

And underneath it all...I'm just a greedy, greedy girl. :p

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Originally Posted by blythespirit

Hell, I knew you paid. And now that I know how you think, I wanna have lunch with you, too. lol

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All you are imagining...and so much more. :exellent1

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Originally Posted by jeanne

And underneath it all...I'm just a greedy, greedy girl. :p

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LW



:11: :D

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Originally Posted by tessa

LW



:11: :D

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I've decided I prefer LS, chickie!

:hubba:

:26:

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Originally Posted by jeanne

I've decided I prefer LS, chickie!

:hubba:

:26:

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~hands you a dictionary/thesaurus~

Semantics, shemantics.

:p

I date vanilla frequently and am currently in a 1+ year vanilla relationship, hoping that'll change by Christmas (the pure vanilla part anyways). I think with my personality it takes a special kind of guy to get along with me seeing as how I am so dominant in my day to day life. It's quite the challenge, finding a Dom who doesn't mind being bossed around. Half of the time my vanilla relationships lead into good switch ones anyways. The ones that don't, don't last. While I don't need a 24/7 lifestyle I do need my partner to throw me a bone every now and again- keeps me from starving.

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Originally Posted by jeanne

For those of you who are single and either Dom or sub...do you date 'vanilla'? And if you do, how does that work? Do you at some point tell the other person who you really are, or just keep it to yourself and get those needs met elsewhere?

:wave:

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im a submissive, who has dated vanilla after a bdsm relationship. Lets just say that it sucks! But when you really like the person you are willing to put those "naughty" thoughts on the back burner, for now. I dated two people who were vanilla after my first bdsm relationship. I kept it a secret that i was into bdsm to them both until i felt like we were in the right place in our relationship to let the cat outa the bag so to speak. They were both okay with it (let me point out, i didnt date them at the same time.) or so they said. Nothing ever came of the bdsm conversation we had. I wasnt being tied up, spanked or anything of that nature. So instead of being stuck in those relationships, i broke them off. Did i like them? Yes. Could i be with them for a long period of time without ANY bdsm involved? I think not.

After a couple of relationship with Dom’s that didn’t work out my sub friend met her partner no a vanilla web site. She really liked him and started dropping hints from a very early stage in the relationship, I think on the first date she said how she liked strong decisive men, gradually dropping more hints and seeing how he responded, then showing him web sites etc . Now he’s her Dom and they are very happy. So it can work, I think she got it spot on if you go out with someone vanilla for a long time then suddenly drop the bomb shell its going to be a lot harder.

Not every relationship that starts out vanilla necessarily stays that way. When i first started seeing my ex-fiance he was totally vanilla, although vaguely dominant insofar as he always chose position etc.

After we'd been sleeping together for a few weeks i casually suggested a little soft bondage to 'spice things up' and gradually drip-fed the bdsm into our relationship from there (just because i'm a sub doesn't mean i can't be a manipulative little girl....)

He is now a poly with (at last count) 3 subs to his name, and is into things that i wouldn't even contemplate. Sadly we didn't work out but we are still close, and i was proud to have him as my Dom - training can work both ways

That's not to say everyone has a hidden inner Dom(me) or sub, but it can certainly be worth a try if you think the other aspects of the relationship have potential

i acturally dont mind, ive been out on dates, vanilla and bdsm related type dates. Ive gone out with Dominants in a vanilla setting, because we werent in a dungeon or play party or munch. I dont think i could do another vanilla relationship so what would be my point in dating a vanilla man? There is a vanilla man who wants to get closer to me, become abit more then i would like, hes a sweet man but not something i am looking for in a partner. My Daddy is very Dominant, we have our ups and down but our foundation besides trust, communication and all that good shit, is D/s. I am his sweet little submissive while hes my sweet Daddy. I dont think i could ever go with a vanilla man but never say never. I know what i want and what i am looking for, and if that person doesnt hold any of those qualities then i know it wont work, because i will get bored and i know i me..