Since I'm in the process of ending my marriage (finally, should have done it years ago rather than hanging on thinking I could 'fix' my husband and 'make' him happy...but I digress...) I have been asked out by vanilla gentlemen on several occasions. I find myself thinking "why bother". I am becoming a poly submissive...and I refuse to try to be something I'm not (monogamous vanilla) anymore! For those of you who are single and either Dom or sub...do you date 'vanilla'? And if you do, how does that work? Do you at some point tell the other person who you really are, or just keep it to yourself and get those needs met elsewhere?