musings

You make it sound like it was all my idea.

From our initial conversations back in early February:

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I have found that I do not enjoy porno, phone, or cyber sex. Have no idea about cyber BDSM, as for me BDSM is more about the respect than the sex, though that is pretty important too, I am willing to explore it.

Peace. I am not saying that I expect you to be my cyber slave. What I expect from you is friendship and guidance in this new, to me, world.

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First though, I am curious about something, what did I say that led you to the topic of an online relationship without cybering? Not that it sounds like a bad idea, I just did not realize I had it, or is this your sub way of introducing something and letting me think it is my idea? Not necessary with me, by the way.

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Emphasis mine. It was your idea, Sir. That's where You were to start, i just had the desire to submit to Your needs. What can i say...You're irrisistable.

:gag:


In my mind it looks a bit like i'm facing You and we're holding hands. You're walking forwards and i'm walking backwards. Going with You, being guided towards something i cannot see and am uncertain of. i have to trust where You lead, though i am the one in front. my "leading" is willingness to be pushed more, showing You my willingness to go further. i don't yank You and You don't shove. i just keep looking into Your eyes and walk where i cannot see, trusting You for where we're going and wanting to go there in the first place.

After a pleasant trip down memory lane and definitions clarified (ahem lol) it was so mutual it's difficult to show who's signature is first on the contract here.

i think i was most floored tonight to learn of His trust of me. It makes it that much more important to not disappoint. As a sub my general personality is to please. To meet someone kind and firm and begin this road down taking and giving control is an increased desire to please. As trust grows, expectations grow, another increase in desire to please. To know i am trusted to this extent has reached a level of desire to not break that trust that is over the top for me. Handle with care.

I think this means so much to me not just because of what it is, but because of what it isn't. It is not the deceit and distrust that lives in my off line life.

Welcome to the real world.

Just musing...I don't want it to sound like a soap box or more of a deal than I mean it.

Terms: "real life" (rl) "real time" (rt)

What does "real" mean?
Well Webster...
1. of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things
2. not artifical, fraudulent, illusory
occurring in fact
having objective independent existence

I use "offline". It defines my reality. I have an existence with my Master that is very much real. It is not artifical, fraudulent or illusory. It is occurring in fact. It is "real life" because He is very much a part of my life and my everyday thoughts and responsibilities. It is "real time" because as I speak with Him the clock moves forward. Time doesn't stand still for us. I have to stop our conversations to attend to other responsibilities. Not "real" responsibilities. Responsibilities in addition to what I need and desire to do with Him.

I wish I could touch Him. He is physically "real" to me, not a figment of my imagination. I have seen His picture, He has "real" skin and "real" eyes and He isn't less real because I haven't been there to look into His eyes yet or touch His skin.

It's such a small thing. It's the little things that make U/us work. That and big hearts.

I have issues with that word as well..."real".

I use the phrase "face to face" instead of rl/rt. Just makes more sense to me as online is, as I've said before, very much real. Sometimes too much...

~hugs for the quite real Mishka~

tessa :wave:

I don't really like the r/l or r/t words either, but I use them because most people understand the connotations behind them. Online is real to me and you guys are all my friends, we just don't hang out face to face, or offline.

I like both of y'alls terms better, Mishka and tessa. I think I'll start using them. *smiles*

Oh and you and Rhabbi are really really sappy... but it's really cute.

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Originally Posted by Mishka

Just musing...I don't want it to sound like a soap box or more of a deal than I mean it.

Terms: "real life" (rl) "real time" (rt)

What does "real" mean?
Well Webster...
1. of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things
2. not artifical, fraudulent, illusory
occurring in fact
having objective independent existence

I use "offline". It defines my reality. I have an existence with my Master that is very much real. It is not artifical, fraudulent or illusory. It is occurring in fact. It is "real life" because He is very much a part of my life and my everyday thoughts and responsibilities. It is "real time" because as I speak with Him the clock moves forward. Time doesn't stand still for us. I have to stop our conversations to attend to other responsibilities. Not "real" responsibilities. Responsibilities in addition to what I need and desire to do with Him.

I wish I could touch Him. He is physically "real" to me, not a figment of my imagination. I have seen His picture, He has "real" skin and "real" eyes and He isn't less real because I haven't been there to look into His eyes yet or touch His skin.

It's such a small thing. It's the little things that make U/us work. That and big hearts.

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This is so profound, to think a woman as wise as you fell for me.

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Originally Posted by MajesticFae

Oh and you and Rhabbi are really really sappy... but it's really cute.

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Shnooky-lumps-Puddin' Pie and I are not at all sappy. :icon176:

:D

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Originally Posted by Mishka

Shnooky-lumps-Puddin' Pie and I are not at all sappy. :icon176:

:D

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Ok, that made me laugh so hard, I spit some of my drink of water out.

Mishka-lish, warn a girl when you're gonna be that hysterical. :p

~huggles~
tessa :wave:

*wonders if Rhabbi knows what Mishka calls him behind his back*

I always mean it with the upmost of respect, of course.

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Originally Posted by MajesticFae

*wonders if Rhabbi knows what Mishka calls him behind his back*

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Trying to cause problems Fae? Mishka knows what she can call me. And Shnooky-lumps-Puddin' Pie is on the list.

lol

it's moments like these that i'm glad i submit to a Dom with a sense of humor.

:bigkiss:

I made 1000 posts in less than 2 weeks, does that mean I am on here too much? Talk about addiction. It is the thought of you and the rest of my family that makes it all worth while.

It is alway nice to see your evil HellHound here Rhabbi. And talk about addicted. I find it hard to stop and eat or sleep.

So much to see, so many subs and so little time.

Oh My!


:eek:

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Originally Posted by John56

It is alway nice to see your evil HellHound here Rhabbi. And talk about addicted. I find it hard to stop and eat or sleep.

So much to see, so many subs and so little time.

Oh My!


:eek:

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Banth. A hell hound is a small dog. A Banth is a large cat. They eat T-rex's.

I am on here so often, I don't understand why I haven't hit 1000 yet, lol.

Good job! (Depending on how you view it =P)

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Originally Posted by Rhabbi

Banth. A hell hound is a small dog. A Banth is a large cat. They eat T-rex's.

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Sorry my friend. I am always getting my mythical evil beasts of burden confused, lol.

Have a great day Rhabbi!

:)

I'm always trying to cause trouble, Rhabbi. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that Mishka called you that silly little pet name.

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Originally Posted by MajesticFae

I'm always trying to cause trouble, Rhabbi. I just wanted to make sure that you knew that Mishka called you that silly little pet name.

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Aha, I have your confession in writing.

Congrats Rhabbi....and yes...You are addicted...perhaps they can come up with FA (Forums Anonymous)....;) There would be lots of 12 Steppers here!!! :D

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Originally Posted by Rhabbi

I made 1000 posts in less than 2 weeks, does that mean I am on here too much? Talk about addiction. It is the thought of you and the rest of my family that makes it all worth while.

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Addicted? Yes. On here too much? That's subjective...probably not too much for you.

Glad Kestral, sweetpeaz and I are the objects of your affections and attentions.

D-licious...the first 1000 are the hardest. After that you look up and go "huh. I didn't know I had posted that much."

Well, sis and me certainly are in the ranks of the addicted (or, to put it more positively, committed) ladies here. :D And I suspect John56 and nk_lion will count as forumoholics too.

How awful of me to not mention that Louise is amongst us fortunate ones, Sir.

I'm sorry dear. I guess that should be taken as a sign that I'm not around very much to spend time with you.


(((hugs)))

5 days. 5 days away with wonderful, happy family things. 5 days without having time to spend time with my Master. :( There is our spreadsheet, He can still keep up with me.

What else can be done online? Do you just accept it for what it is and love and live the best anyone can? Do you try to do something extra? But then, if you could...well, it's a matter of timing isn't it?

i know You haven't complained, Sir. i just was wondering about it these past few days.

Well this helped. "I like seeing you busy and happy."

Wow. That was generous, understanding...

a sigh of relief and wide-eyed with surprise at this patience of Yours.

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Originally Posted by Mishka

Well this helped. "I like seeing you busy and happy."

Wow. That was generous, understanding...

a sigh of relief and wide-eyed with surprise at this patience of Yours.

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silly kitten.

Of course I like that, even though I miss you. Much prefer the thought of you busy and happy to one of you moping around and sad.

(have you noticed that I say silly kitten a lot? I keep hearing it in my head with this indulgent tone, and I hope you know that it is always said with love.)

Sappy alert:

Life is too amazing to mope.

i'm glad my offline life is getting back to a more reasonable schedule. Even though little snags (like following a slow truck home to be late for my own collaring) happen anyway.

See You tomorrow and W/we'll pray for no traffic. :)

No, we will order no traffic, much more effective that way.

Funny thing, thinking back. In less than 6 months we went from saying hello to a collaring. And I am approaching 10,000 posts. In fact, I remember announcing my 1000th post right here in this thread, and this will be 9000. Quite a difference a few months can make.

i've been a giddy slave all day. Such a sweet, simple moment with O/our family.

i think i even strutted having my chain on.

6 months. :)

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Originally Posted by Mishka

i've been a giddy slave all day. Such a sweet, simple moment with O/our family.

i think i even strutted having my chain on.

6 months. :)

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*hugs tight*

Is that what I am feeling? Giddiness? Interesting.

yep. Giddy.

sappy alert:

love does that to some people. can't help it so might as well not fight the joy.

Sincere congratulations, you two.

:wave:

Congratulations Mishka{R} and Rhabbi!

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Originally Posted by tessa

Sincere congratulations, you two.

:wave:

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Originally Posted by gagged_Louise

Congratulations Mishka{R} and Rhabbi!

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Thanks so much you two. You've been wonderful to/for U/us. :)

Wishing you both all the happinesses you could wish for yourselves.

cariad

Thank you for the well wishes tessa, louise, and cariad.

This is lovely. Do we get piccies? I am very happy for you both/all.

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Originally Posted by moptop

This is lovely. Do we get piccies? I am very happy for you both/all.

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Thank you moptop.

Mishka is a bit shy, but I will try to talk her into posting a pic of her daily collar for you all to see.

Congratulations to you both!