Wolfscout would like me to share more openly my journey with BDSM. A journal of sorts. This is for my Sir, I hope he likes it.

I didn't know I wanted to be so submissive, or a pet, it actually started out as a joke. No, that's not quite right...it started out with me in pain, and Wolfscout became my friend. He was in pain, too, for very different reasons, so I became his friend.

That was two years ago. We met on another forum. I went to get support for my marriage that was falling down around me and to get some rebelling out of my system.

I met this funny, naughty, insatiable, kind man. He teased, I teased back, and a natural flow of conversation came from that. I tried to offer him comfort on sleepless nights. He let me cry on his shoulder when I needed someone to understand what I was going through. Of course we talked of everyday things, too.

Forward to last summer. I read a thread of a woman I knew there about her realization of needing to submit. She was used to being in charge, ravaging her lovers...and she came to a place where she just needed to surrender. Reading it I realized that was exactly what I had been wanting. She put words to my feelings, the longings I had to not run every aspect of my life, especially my sex life. I cried a lot.

I started to explore, just read, think. Then another thread popped up there and it had to do with collaring and some different aspects of BDSM. One was a pet tied to a leash and animal play. That's where the joke came in. I told him I'd probably bust out laughing if I was told to act like a dog. (No offense to those who enjoy that, it's just not a scenario I had ever thought of at that time.) He thought he would enjoy having someone on a leash.

I know you’ll think this very amusing, but he wasn’t so sure he could see himself in the role of a Dominant, though his mind sometimes wandered there. How times do change. I asked him. It was just this past November. I couldn’t ask just anyone to explore this with me, I needed it to be a friend, someone I trusted. I couldn’t give the reigns over to my husband, I was the one leading that sex life by bit and bridle. With Wolfscout, we could explore this together. This forum was on my reading list, so he came soon after I did. I’d say it has had a very positive influence on him.

He is my BDSM journey. I love how we communicate now, the roles we play in each other’s lives. It’s still a wonderful, respectful friendship, but I feel loved and cared for as a pet that I don’t anywhere else in my life.

I have only one complaint. It’s only online. I’m not allowed to pout, though. Sir makes it work with patience and understanding, and I have learned from his example.