It’s in the Genes …

No, not those Jeans!

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about genetics and if “kink” passes through families/generations.

My own immediate and extended family, boasts 4 “out” female submissives, 7 “out” Dominants and lord only knows how many switches! I’m sure if you visited most of the family members and hunted about their homes you would probably come across the odd paddle, cane, whip, tawse etc. Not to mention the obvious (to us) hooks inserted in the skirting boards in my Aunts bedroom! Ooer aunty, I know what you’re doing!! ~grins~ And cousin David, clearly submissive, wore a gold O ring at a family wedding last month .. I was :eek: then :rolleyes: for ages. Well I never … no seriously, I never did know about him!

I bet there’s deep heat and all sorts in his medicine cabinet. ~Sniggers~

I might buy all their chrissy prezzies from a fetish shop this year .. that’ll shock ‘em

So, has anyone else got likeminded in their families? Do you know for sure? Or is it the perpetual guessing game at family gatherings, trying to spot who is Who!

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i think in my family there might be one or two dominant ones but i can't really tell for sure. The rest...i am certain are all very very very vanilla. lol.
Although, next time i visit any of their homes....i will be looking around for some signs:)
If they only knew about me.....lol.....oh well none of their damn business!


Interesting thread cynn, i'm curious to see what others have to say.



frankee




Proud sub of Mistress Cindy:rose;

Not in the genes here. Except if you call grandpa's sexist chauvinist ways about him Dom. The rest of my family are all church going vanilla's.

V/R
ID

Most of my family is too prudish to be in the lifestyle. Along with ED, most of the men in my family are chauvinist so if you consider that being Dom then yes but in the real active sense no.

Not here, as far as I know. I'd be very shocked if my parents had any such proclivities. But then again, as far as I'm concerned, they had sex exactly twice: when they conceived my sister, and when they conceived me. And I don't even want to think about *that*

i came to be by 'immaculate conception', that's my story and i'm sticking to it.

Hee hee hee... Even in a place as freeminded as this no-one wants to think of their parents "at it". My other half has a six year old son and whilst he doesn't object to seeing us being "loved up" with each other in front of him, he pleads with us not to kiss each other if his friends come over. Oh dear... he's going to have some embarassing times while he's growing up :D

As for the genetics question, it's going to be a combination of nature (genetics) and nurture (the environment) and there's never a definitive answer in that old debate.

Well I found out my parent's were still doing "it" when I came home from College for Christmas break and my mom told me she thought she was pregnant... my first thought was "EWWWW" then my second thought was I'm 19 what do you think your doing...thankfully it was menopause!

oh god, can you imagine walking in on them doing it, *shudders*, i think i might be going blind just thinking about it lol

Not here either. I had the unpleasant task of cleaning out my parents home. Found absolutely nothing in the entire house including basement and attic.

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Originally Posted by Warbaby1943

Not here either. I had the unpleasant task of cleaning out my parents home. Found absolutely nothing in the entire house including basement and attic.

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What a shame! lol

I wasnt asking about sex lives in the original post, more were there any other bdsmers in your families that you know of.

Surely I'm not the only member part of a disfunctional family on the planet?? :cool:

cynn

ok.. i think i got a little carried away lol. i knew you meant BDSM, but for some reason most of us thought of our parents and sex *shudders again*. Thankfully no, because i don't need those mental pictures in my head of my parents.....OMG...someone shoot me!
Although i do have a cousin that a suspect lol. i'l have to investigate further.
Great thread!



frankee




Proud sub of Mistress Cindy:rose:

No, I don't think we have a BDSM gene running in the family, lol. And frankly, I think it's more of a matter of nurture - not nature. If your parents are living a BDSM type of life, the children might pick up on certain patterns and incorporate them in their life or not - but at least they'll have some sort of role model of how a relationship works.

Recently I was a little obsessed with finding the origin of my fetish, and had a list of possible causes and how they might be confirmed or eliminated. On the list was "genetics", and next to it I wrote "impossible to confirm", simply because I refuse to let my family know I have any interest in the subject. Not that I think they'll judge me, I just don't feel it would do me any good to tell them.

Now, could I imagine my parents or anyone else in my family engaging in kinky activities behind closed doors? I wouldn't put it past them, because I know that such tendancies can manifest in all sorts of people. But to me it'll always be a mystery. Or at least that's how I'd like it to be.

As to whether the preference for BDSM might be genetic, I think it's entirely possible. After all, I can't think of any other way I could have gotten it.

Ooh this is a good thread! My sister was married this past weekend and I had a chance to talk to alot of my relatives. One of my cousins came to visit for a few days. Toward the end of the stay, she just asked me. Apparently I had left some things out. Oops..... So maybe it is genitic....

This is a wonderful thread. I have always wondered about my parents. When my mother was alive, she catered to my father's every whim. Of course they were from a generation that boasted of "a woman's place is..." and the man is "Lord and Master" in his home. So perhaps it was societies dictates. Later on in life, however, I learned that she never wore "panties" i wonder if that's any indication? lol And I did find some things that could be used as toys. Hmmmm. makes me wonder?????????

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Originally Posted by cynn

Surely I'm not the only member part of a disfunctional family on the planet?? :cool:

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I've got a weird nephew, does that count: until recently he was my "lodger" but I've bundled him off to his Auntie now. He's only just turned 19, has a huge issue about his height (about 5'5") and his penis size; uses a penis stretching device ( http://proextender.com/ which I discovered jammed down the back of the sofa one day); buys penis enlargement pills from the internet; has a folder full of penis enlargement excercises for which he stole all all my tea-towels (what do you call these in the US? THese are what we in the UK use for srying crockery). His girlfriend is a total "bunny boiler" who, if she can't get to speak to him calls his mobile (cellphone for you in the US) up to 42 times in an hour, both of them send porno pix of theirselves to each other using camera phones, they're already buying stuff like PVC nurses outfits. And to top it all off he lies about everything.

There, is that dysfunctional or what?

No? Would you like to hear about my fiancee's mother's, who is in her own very dull way a fetishist, but her thing is an OCD clothes-washing hang-up: All clothes must be soaked in disinfectant overnight before going into the washing machine; socks and underwear can never be washed together; if one sock finds it's way into the underwear wash the whole wash has to be repeated. Bare feet are not allowed on the carpets: socks or slippers must be worn at all times. Oh... and you cannot sit on top of your bed whilst wearing clothes you have worn outside, you first have to change into clean clothes to do this. All this from a woman who was a teenager during the 60's flower power free-love revolution (and she only learned last year what a 69 is!)

In comparison to this, me handcuffing my other half, spanking her, then indulging in an oral/vaginal/anal orifice sequence seems extremely normal!

As we say in the north of england "There's nowt funnier than folk..."

Hahahahahahaha...I guess this puts our kinks into perspective. :D

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Originally Posted by Curious George

has a folder full of penis enlargement excercises for which he stole all all my tea-towels (what do you call these in the US? THese are what we in the UK use for srying crockery)

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We call them dish towels. My mother once made Spotted Dick for a party (we love that name), and the recipe called for the use of "tea towels", so she went out and bought some. What we ended up with was a bunch of dish towels, and some VERY chewy dick.

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Originally Posted by Curious George

As we say in the north of england "There's nowt funnier than folk..."

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Eeeh by 'eck lad, ooppss, Lad ... thah's reet ya'knor

(how bad was that?)

Takes all sorts to make the world go around I guess. It certainly has me looking deeper within my family, and my own son (almost 21) handcuffed his g/f and gave her a good cropping!! How do I know this? She told me one day laughing her head off, and I'm like :confused: uhhuh!

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Originally Posted by dzire2pleeze

When my mother was alive, she catered to my father's every whim. Of course they were from a generation that boasted of "a woman's place is..." and the man is "Lord and Master" in his home. So perhaps it was societies dictates. Later on in life, however, I learned that she never wore "panties" i wonder if that's any indication? lol And I did find some things that could be used as toys. Hmmmm. makes me wonder?????????

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I would guess there was some dynamics going on there! I wonder if a casual conversation, probing one of course .. lol .. would enlighten you!

Would be interesting!!

i guess it would be an interesting conversation, but i have yet to learn how to communicate with the dead. lol

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Originally Posted by dzire2pleeze

i guess it would be an interesting conversation, but i have yet to learn how to communicate with the dead. lol

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LOL .. yes that might be a stopper!

My mother was and still is submissive to my father they never hid it from my sister and I,my sister is repulsed by the mere idea of any kind of kink and so lives a "normal" lifestyle where as I'm a full time domme.

So I'm not really sure whether genetics has anything toodo with it as my both my parents parents were devout catholics so they definetly didint get it from there.

My mother was submissive to my father their entire marriage for 38 years and I've two brothers, one is Dominant and my other brother and I turned out Submissive. My moms mother I remember she telling me she was dominant with her husband so, how did my mother turned out to be submissive to my father?

I'm not sure if genetics really plays a part or not.

Well this is interesting... we just found Master's brother's MySpace account today (which was really scary looking I might add!), and among his huge list of interests he listed domination, bondage, and blood! How weird is that? I dunno if he actually participates in any of that, but just the fact that he listed it is a bit of a weird coincidence.

In My case, I can assure you its not genetic, unless it goes back beyond any generation I met.

Now, My birthmother does "submit" if you choose to call it that, as shes addicted to abuser types.

My half brother thinks Uus freaks.

My Father falls in between being in charge and not being in charge
sounds nilla to Me huh? Hence why My birthmother left him, he didnt abuse her.

I've, since the age of testosterone, always been Dominant.

I am really not sure on my family, My fathers side I doubt it, that side of the family came down on me hard when they found out I was into this (that and being bi, or as they called it Gay, which was rather odd considering I was with a man and a woman when they found out) They all think I am mentally ill. My parents nope, they always ran their relationship as equal partners. But I don't know much about my mothers side of the family other then thats the side with the criminals and the child abusers (only met a few people on that side and I can't compare them to me because I am not psycho and the ones I have met their are)

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Originally Posted by cynn

Surely I'm not the only member part of a disfunctional family on the planet?? :cool:

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Well, I can tell you that no, you aren't the only one. My dad was a Baptist Preacher while I was growing up... when I was an adult, he moved across the country. I bought a puter so we could talk (voice in messenger) and save my phone bill... and we instant messaged a lot as well. Well, one day, he and I were talking in yahoo messenger, and I was multi-tasking and chatting with a few other friends as well... all was fine until I typed (yes, I look at the keyboard when I type) and hit enter then looked at the screen and I realized I had just sent a VERY BDSM related post to my dad! :eek: My heart skipped 5 beats and stopped dead in my chest as I sat there staring at that little yahoo window for what felt like an eternity. Then, up pops a "file transfer" from dad... I figured it was more pictures of that danged Mt. Ranier... so I accepted them, assuming he hadn't yet seen my post, that he was looking for the pics to send me. When they came, I opened them, and :eek: they were bondage pics!! (nice ones to if I might say so myself). Well, when dad responded, it was as if I had never sent that message to him, and in all the years since, not a word has ever been spoken about the day we "came out" to each other.

Ds

Hmm, it's just a guess, but I don't think there's any kinky gene in my family. At least none that I know about. My family doesn't know about me, so it's very possible they're all wildly kinky but I don't know it. I'll have to watch more carefully!

Ok... my family must be normally dysfunctional... lol.

This is what i know...

My mom knows about my choice (in the most general of terms)... she understands my need to submit but doesn't approve of the pain (big shocker there.) BUT... mom and i also have a type of relationship that one day... about 10 years ago (when i was mid 20's and before i even knew about D/s) she called me and asked me how to do a bj and a 69. So, even though i was a bit shocked even THINKING of my mother being interested in sex... i know she is (and did give details on how to do each... even though i was blushing so hard it was unreal!). i also know she "subbed" to one gentleman, although she claims she was "just trying to make him happy." The whole women's rights thing in there some where i think...

My brother found me in yahoo one day in a D/s room. He was SHOCKED and couldn't believe i wanted to be with those "sick" people. This coming from the boy who used to tie his penis so tight i'm surprised it didn't fall off. How do i know this... i used to catch him doing it on a regular basis. Of course at that point i thought he was "sick." lol. i know he still does self bondage, his wife has said as much, although i don't think he would ever admit to anything more about it... lol.

And then there is my grandmother... the patriarch of the family. She is Domme, period. She may not claim to be Domme but her behavior and such always has been. i don't think she "physically" Dommed my grandfather (mom and i have this mental image of my grandfather on top, trying his best, my grandmother looking at the ceiling making a mental note that it needs another coat of paint when he was done... lol) Anyhow... i have no doubt she mentally Dommed him.

So is it genetics... i think in portion it may be... but i don't think that is the overall deciding factor. i honestly think that the largest factor is that now the information on it is more readily available so people are better able to explore and grow in their preferences. It is no longer a matter of trying to keep it secret and not being able to even find a bit of information about it... if that makes any sense....

Ok..... i'm through rambling! sorry!

my family was wound so tight that they could have been an alarm clock. that being said, I am pretty sure that both my kids are kinked. SO maybe its not in the genes, maybe it is a virus that we catch?

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Originally Posted by TheDeSade

my family was wound so tight that they could have been an alarm clock. that being said, I am pretty sure that both my kids are kinked. SO maybe its not in the genes, maybe it is a virus that we catch?

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i know my kids are a bit on the kink side even at 7, 7, and 5...

Both of my daughters loves to be spanked and my son is forever conning his sisters into tying him up... lol.

Will be interesting to see in 20 years... lol.

My mom is pretty prudish. Though I did find pics once that I wish I had NEVER found lol. I dont know about my dad though, hes a transgender individual...thats all the more I really know about the 'man'. *shrugs* So probablly not gentic here...

I think the inclination to be dom or sub is "nature" (genetic.) How one expresses that inclination is more about "nuture" (environment.)

That doesn't mean that your parents were lifestylers... anything in your environment can lead you toward or away from your nature. From childsplay to school to a multiplicity of media, including the net.

I got a kinky brother, most likely dominant as well it seems. That's all I know of.

i know my natural father is where i get it from it is amazing sometimes just how close to the tree the nut falls!! I met him when i was 20 and the first time i ever saw him he had a book on jap. rope tying and had a bunch of crops and stuff he had just picked up at the leather shop, and silly me i though they were for his horses....... a few monthes later i found out he didn't have any horses!!!

To the person who said their parents were Catholic, so they couldn't get it from there...

I don't know... There's a lot of non-obvious kink in Catholicism: confession, penance, stigmata, and the various painful practices some of the saints/monasteries/convents practice...

Of course, it's not sexual, it's spiritual *nods*

That said. I think my dad might have some inclination in that area and I know my cousin (dad's twin's daughter) definitely does.

My mom has always been the "dominant" one in the household, but I don't think she's kinky - I think she's just a strong woman, if that makes sense. I know when I tried to tell her about myself, she didn't want to hear any more.

And yet another way I'm strange: the idea of my parents having sex doesn't bother me in the least, although I think they ought to do it more often than they do (at least based on the small amount of information they've given me on the subject and on the fact that I know my mom usually waits until my dad is asleep before going to bed).