Stupid

[yama]

Madam MELY (Maitresse_Emeraude) suggests that, as a punishment for my stupidity about my password, i swat my ass with a wet belt. i promise i will do it. She specifies the number of strokes in 18. i promise to execute them. i am firmly resolved that i will do it.

i am expecting the end of a busy day. Now, i have time at last. i select the belt. A leatherette belt with normal length and width, as used with jeans. Real leather would be better, but i have none. I fill a basin with warm water, put four handful salt in it, and place the belt in the water. Without water i found that it hardly stung. But i hope it will be better tomorrow, friday morning.

i sit to the computer, and i happen to meet Madam in Yahoo! chat. She is extremely nice with me. Of course, when i do or say something improper, she shows me my real place, as i deserve. Every such occasion she adds to the number of strokes i will get. From 18 it grows to 36, then 54, later it is increased to 63,then 81. She asks me whether i can endure more. i reply i will endure so many as she imposes on me. So more 18 is imposed, making the lashes 99. Before the chat ends, she rounds the number up to 100. i thank her and ask her permission to leave. i go to bed. The belt is soaking.

i have no fear. But i am excited about my punishment. Will it hurt too much? Will i regret that i accepted it? Well, i am resolved to execute it on myself, no matter what. And i am sure i won't regret. Till now i never have whipped myself with a wet belt. I used a phone cord threefold. It is stingy, it can be really painful, and it can draw blood. But i could endure 100 strokes with it. i will endure the belt, no doubt.

When my friend Lila is whipping me, i often feel that i can't endure more, but she knows better and this is why she uses ropes and a ball gag. With my full consent, of course. She has a leather single-tail whip, stinging like hell, and we don't have a safeword, but she always knows when to stop. i think i could not give myself 100 lashes with her whip. But i don't need to, she does that much better.

i wake up early. Feeling cold, i drink some hot tea. i strip naked. i take the belt out of the salty water. i select a place in the room where i can brandish my instrument. i give my butt a few experimental strokes, with my right hand and hitting horizontally, landing on my left bottom cheek. Then i start to count.

i don't know why, the first strokes seem hardly hurt. i force myself to hit with more impetus. I know one can't whip oneself with that full force which is used when whipping others. But i want to do my very best. Madam trusts me. i don't want a mock punishment. i learn how to hold the folded belt as a loop, so that it don't hit my flesh flat, cracking without hurting. It goes well, after about twenty strokes every hit causes real pain. About thirty i can feel my butt hotting up. The pain is real, but, i am obliged to confess, is far from unbearable.

i am hitting again and again, keeping brief pauses to collect force. My bottom certainly hurts know. But i must repeat: it is far from unbearable. I think Madam knew that, she didn't imposed on me something extreme. The number of hits is increasing, it hurts, but it is not an insufferable torment. After 90 i start thinking: so much and no more? But i stop with 100. i don't like self-imposed punishments. They don't humiliate. The great thing is to have a punishment imposed by another person. For the future, my friend Lila will provide that. She didn't approved of this action, and promised i will suffer for it. Lila is an angel, by the way.

My butt is sore and red. Welts? Yes, but i think they will disappear in few days. Blood? Not a drop. Can i sit? Yes, i can, with some pain but without serious difficulty.

Did it hurt? Yes, it did. Have i suffered? No. i don't call that suffering. If there was any suffering, it was the doubt whether i was doing it right.

Got i aroused? No. My attention was fully on doing a good job of it. It would have been different if i had been whipped by another person.

Am i grateful for it? Oh yes, i am extremely grateful to Madam. The best part of it, for me, was when she kept increasing my punishment. It was so humiliating, and i enjoyed my humiliation. A very humble thank for it, dearest Madam.

Madam insisted that i write a full report. Here it is. Thank everybody who took the time to read this.