As stated, I'm what I've noticed other posters refer to as a 'lurker' and I apologize for that. I decided a long time ago that I'd read first, experience, and post later. I did plenty of reading. I now have a part time sub (I determine when we play, but it doesn't happen everynight). And I still think something is missing.

I am a slight sadist, in the sense that I love to her that whimper from pain, and I'm a Dom in the sense that I get a thrill when I see her listening to me, obeying me... But, despite the fact that we've been together for three, nearly four years as a vanilla couple, with almost a half-year (if not more) in a Dom/sub relationship, I almost feel that something is missing. It mostly stems from the fact that we don't live together, and we both live with our families (I being two years out of high school and her four years from the same school), so we can't do long scenes like other couples/groups do. That doesn't bother me.

What I would like to ask is your personal favorite assignments/tasks in situations similar to this. For reference, I've had her write her list of limits (both hard and soft, which I've made her revise a couple of times), and I also have her write a journal page everytime we do a scene. (In case I use the term "collar night", I'll explain: I bought her a collar just before we started doing this. When I want to play a little, I have her put on the collar. I do this so she can get into the right state of mind, seeing as I like her otherwise independent nature otherwise. So if I refer to her being collared, it's not in the generally accepted BDSM Community way, it's just a time during which she wears the collar and therefore we play.)